Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
- Who? Every invitee would be hand-picked by my friend and/or me. Each of them, in turn, must bring one guest of the opposite sex. The guest must be totally date-able, just not a good match for the invitee (e.g., good friend, sibling, ex who remains friendly, etc.). This means we'll have an even number of boys and girls. And, hopefully, none of them will be complete psychos.
- Where? We're thinking we want to rent out the private room in the back of the Velvet Tango Room. For one, the drinks there are amazeballs. (And I'm gonna need a LOT of alcohol to pull this shizz off.) And for another, the atmosphere at VTR is such that we think everyone will be on their best behavior. (Well, at least until they have a couple of those strong-ass drinks.)
- When? Probably around Thanksgiving. If we wait much longer than that, we probably won't be able to do something until 2010 (knowing that December is usually crazy for everyone). And God help us all if I don't have a date before the end of this year.
- Why? Ummm, you read this blog, right? 'nuff said.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
C'mon. It's for charity.
(And by "charity," I could possibly be talking about my pathetic excuse for a dating life.)
P.S. I'm also accepting applications for blog readers who want to be the friend who gets to tag along with me when I win! ;)
Monday, September 21, 2009
But this past weekend DID serve as the end of my 2009 Wedding Season Extravaganza. (And I wasn't even a bridesmaid in ANY of this summer's weddings... I can barely believe it myself!!)
When I started today's post about Saturday's wedding finale, I realized that I never wrote about the LAST wedding I went to (in early August). It was SUPER fun. At least, what I remember of it was.
Let's just say that that beautiful August nite started with the bartender at the Ritz making some strooooooong blackout & tonics for Ms. Always a Bridesmaid. I remember dancing (but not as much as the photographic evidence would suggest) and attempting to do shots with the groom's younger cousin (only to be told we were not allowed to do shots, so instead we got full CUPS of straight alcohol to down).
The nite ended with me bringing out Jorge (from the bride's bachelorette party) and using him as a prop in a number of inappropriate scenarios. Behold:
But don't worry. I did NOT share the midnite snack arranged by the bride and groom (burgers, fries and ice cream sandwiches) with Jorge. Mama needs her sustenance if she's gonna dance til 2am, peeps. (BTW, this was the first time I've ever been to a wedding where the music -- and alcohol!!! -- went til 2am. Two words: HOT MESS. In a good, super-fun way, of course.)
After I finished my midnite noshing, I didn't want to piss Jorge off, so I let him use my snack container to get a little refreshment of his own in the marble fountain:
Aaaaaaaand that is why you either definitely do (or maybe, definitely don't) want to invite me to your wedding. At least you know there will be entertainment! :)
I'll write about this past weekend's wedding finale later this week. Suffice to say I was dared to attempt a make-out session with a young Amish boy who was working as a caterer. (Spoiler: I did not take the bet. But I did consider it for about 10 seconds.)
Friday, September 18, 2009
And there you have the reason that I still contend that gay guys would make the best boyfriends. :)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
- Hearing -- see above (and, seriously, stop effing laughing that that song reminds me of a romantic liaison)
- Smell -- every time I smell Emporio Armani cologne, I think of The Murse. He wore it for years and, in fact, his mom even bought us the his/hers version one year for Christmas. It's really sort of a bummer, since I actually really like how this stuff smells. But the memory of him that comes along with it just makes it a real stinker in my book.
- Taste -- I can't eat dumplings without thinking of The Murse either. Actually, without thinking of his mom. Because it was the meal she made for us every year (for six years, remember!) on New Year's Day. She friggin' loved that meal (as did I, after I tried it the first year). Lucky for me, pork and dumplings is not really a regular feature in the AAB diet. However, even seeing them on a menu somewhere reminds me of her (and, then, him).
- Sight -- whenever I see a picture of either Leonardo DiCaprio or Eric Dane, I think of The Divorcee. He was like a real-life version of the two of them if... you know... two men could mate and create an offspring. I can't help but think of him every time I see one of those two in the gossip rags or on E! with my (possibly gay and definitely pretend) BF, Ryan Seacrest.
- Touch -- I can't really think of anything good for this one. (At least, nothing that blogdad could read.)
(Jaaaaaaaaay Kaaaaaaaaay, blogdad. I've never touched a boy in my life. Pinky swear.)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
- A date from hell that was the impetus for this blog
- The guy I dated for 6+ years deciding (after being broken up for 3 years) that he made a mistake
- A few fun guest blog posts, including the now-defunct Man Monday
- The Outing: '09 (a.k.a. The Tale of The Greek)
- My parents (hi, blogmom and blogdad) becoming pseudo-celebs on the blog (sort of like Kathy Griffin's parents... but, you know... even lower than the D-list)
- My family praying to sweet Jesus & Mary that I find a man (Again. And again. And again.)
- Taking a much-needed blogcation
- My sissies getting pregnant! (As well as several of my very good friends too!)
- And, probably my fave dating story thus far: Grammar Guy
And, obvs, there were several weddings thrown in there too. (Which is sort of a given, given the subject matter of this blog.)
Truthfully, I simply started this little blogging adventure last year because I had found myself telling various groups of friends (from high school, from college, from post-college, from work, etc.) the same horrific dating stories over and over... and over. And I was simply looking for a way to not have to rehash the unfortunate tales more than I absolutely had to. (Would you want to tell some of these stories more than once?!?)
But I never imagined that I'd meet so many other amazing bloggers (many of whom I'm now happy to call friends). And I never (I mean, EVER) thought that so many people who don't know me would find the blog (yes, I'm talking about most of you) -- and actually want to read it! (Please humor me if you're simply reading to make yourself feel better about your own dating life.)
Lucky for you, I clearly picked an awesome year to start a dating blog. I can't remember a more depressing dating streak in my entire life. I mean, there were very few guys who I even considered as real potentials in the past year. And, of those who were possible candidates, they all clearly fell out of the running after a few dates. (Except for Mr. X, who seems to be hanging in there after about a month and a half or so of us talking. But maybe that's because we still haven't actually seen each other. Which, BTW, blows.)
So, thanks for the fun ride. It can only get better from here, right?
(Dear GOD. For the love of all things holy, please tell me it won't get any WORSE.)
Always a Bridesmaid
P.S. I'm certain I'm forgetting tons of other good stories from the past year. Do you have any personal faves?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Are you with me, ladies? (And gents?)
I'm sure these guys were plenty nice. (Though they were a bit above my age demo too. And by "a bit," I mean a lot.) But, physically, one reminded me of David Letterman (but with nicer teeth... which is good, considering he's an oral surgeon) and the other reminded me of a grown-up version of Ralphie from A Christmas Story, but with brunette hair (and about a tube of hair gel).
Damnit. Is it so much to ask to meet someone who is both great on paper and ALSO someone I could imagine making out with?
(Sorry, blogdad. Should have warned you that one was coming.)
And as I was reflecting on that while driving home, I realized that I feel like maybe I did meet someone like that: Mr. X.
(You may remember that I started talking to Mr. X while I was on blogcation back in July, but I haven't written about him much here because he knows about the blog. Let's hope he's not reading it today!)