Thursday, September 10, 2009

My celebrity date-alike

I had a revelation while reading last week's issue of UsWeekly at the hair salon tonite.

(BTW, my new hairdresser relationship is going swimmingly! Too bad I can't say as much for my dating life.)

Anyhow, I had in my manicured little hands last week's issue of Us, featuring the cover story about why Bradley Cooper (yum!) chose Renee Zellweger (meh!) over Jennifer Aniston (aww!).

(Sidenote: who the EFF would choose Renee over Jen? Is it even a contest?!?)

And then it hit me.

I think I may be your Jennifer Aniston.

(Well, minus the amazing body. And, you know, the millions of dollars. But at least I've got the fab hairdresser!)

You know what I do have in common with Ms. Aniston?

The tabloids are always talking about the fact that we're single. (I mean, how many times can we possibly read about Jennifer being dumped? By Brad, by John Mayer, by Vince Vaughn, by Bradley Cooper, etc.) And, they're always seemingly feeling sorry/bad for us because of it.

(OK, maybe it's not the tabloids in my case. But you catch my drift.)

So am I right? Do you guys think of me as perpetually unlucky in love like our little old Rachel Green? Am I the CLE version of Jennifer Aniston (minus the boobs and the Benz)?

Then again, I suppose it could be worse. I could be compared to tabloid fodder Kate Gosselin. But, you know. With better hair. ;)


MG said...

I'd go on the perception is reality angle. If you feel like you are, you are. If you don't feel like that, you aren't.

We don't hang out or know too many of the same people so I dont know for sure either way, but do people REALLY spend all that much time talking about how you're single or do you perceive that's the case (maybe more than reality)? And if they are, WTF? Don't they have better things to do?

I'd also still say that by blogging about a guy after a first date or what have you, you're paying them more attention than one should/many women would at that point in the relationship spectrum*, which only furthers the perception (for you) it's a big deal if it doesnt carry on much past that. Most guys are pretty forgettable in the grand scheme- be careful your writing doesn't build any of them up to be more than they are and it ends up making you feel like you lost something. In most cases from what I've read and being a guy and knowing others, none of it is too tragic- we're pretty replaceable.

So to reiterate- you're in control of your perception and destiny. Take it where you want it.

*You’ve got to remember there was probably a time where just going out once barely put someone on the radar, and certainly wasn’t spoken of much until the situation fleshed itself out more.

MG said...

Also, America's favorite girl she may be, Jennifer Aniston is an idiot. Brad Pitt wanted kids, she refused (and how many would love to have kids with him?). He moved on for good reason and she started being all "woe is me, I want kids now." Well, you had your chances honey, you'll just have to be accountable for your mistakes. That's what us adults do...

Inconsistent, poorly though-out, idiocy...

Anonymous said...

MG....we have no idea what happened btwn Jen & Brad. Haven't you heard the expression, don't believe everything you hear, see or read? Jennifer Aniston is NOT an idiot!'s true no one can understand how it is that you're still single. Kind of the same w/ J.A. However, when the right man does find you, it will all make sense. I promise.


Always a Bridesmaid said...

MG -- no, I am not dumb enough to think that my readers actually care enough to talk about my dating life outside of this blog. But HERE (on the blog), that is sort of the point.

Chill -- thanks, girl! :)

MG said...

noo...I didnt mean it like that. I just meant that if you feel people are talking about it or you feel it's a problem, than it is, but also in your head. If you're cool, it's cool.

Amy Green @ Sweet Home Amy said...

Ignoring all that was said above....I kinda know how you feel. For the last year it seemed like nothing would go right with any guy, and somehow everyone always knew about it and felt oh-so-sorry for me. It's annoying, tiring, and frustrating. The best thing to do is just keep taking care of yourself, and doing what's right for you. The best guy is one who doesn't interrupt your life, but walks along side it.

It can be frustrating to have so many failures, but remember the worst thing you can do is stick with someone just to not have another failure on your record. I did that with a guy last year, and after I couldn't put up with him anymore, I was slapping myself in the forehead for just avoiding the inevitable. If it's not right, it's not right, and you just keep trucking.

I probably just wrote more than necessary, but oh well. :) Keep your head up, because at least you aren't stuck in a marriage/relationship that you don't want to be in because you were too afraid to be alone.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

WOW! Thanks, Amy. And I didn't even need to lay on a couch or pay a giant fee for a counseling session! :)

Late Bride said...

Hmmm...Jennifer Aniston..I never made that connection but I do see the similarities - good hair, beautiful, sense of humor, loved by many... etc. And it may appear that her dating life is a series of failures, but that is only if you look at it that way. Think of it this way, with each date/experience, you get smarter about yourself and what you want..and what you don't want..which ultimately helps you identify the right partner.

Orrr..... you could be like a good friend of ours - who won't tell us anything about who he is dating for the very simple reason that he doesn't want us to get to know them in case it doesn't work out - which happens often and depresses him. So we cannot even ask the woman's name! I mean, it's crazy, we've known him since grade school and he won't let us know who he is dating unless it gets serious, which now that I think of it, I'm not sure what that means for him. So, don't do that because we enjoy dishing with you.

Oh and another mother always told me you can be married and very lonely.

Anonymous said...

MG is a doucher.

MG said...

@ Anon-

Anonymously calling me a "doucher" sans evidence for giving sound advice really doesn't make sense and isn't effective criticism.

Unknown said...


YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG. I am not saying this anonymously. I am using my real name. You are a giant douche bag. I am not suggesting that AAB thinks you're a douch bag or that you don't have permission from her to post on her blog. What I am suggesting, however, is that your wacked out perception of male/female relationships, your incessant need to comment with self-aggrandizing drivel, and everything you have ever chosen to share publicly in the comments section of this blog CLEARLY INDICATES THAT YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

Is that evidence enough? I hope you will take this as effective criticism.

Anonymous said...

I am sure Jennifer's getting dumped because she is terrible in the sack. I mean, I have thought a lot about this, and I for one still have JA as my "it" girl, but she has to just be awful in bed...AWFUL...couple that with bad breath and her never ending need to reproduce and see ya....oh yeah, she's also dating celebrity's she's also an idiot.

At the end of the day, she's desperate, and I can tell you this, men can smell that on you ladies, like a dog can smell fear...I suspect they smell similar, and both fester from the crotch.

alexa @clevelandsaplum said...

MG - i don't really care for you or your comments here on AAB's blog.

oh well, i guess one can't like everyone.

MG said...

@ Alexa-

I'm ok with that. At first I had hoped either you would like me from the context that I only offer the perspective that many men have but won't verbalize (unless just when hanging out with the guys) as the nature of this blog is all about landing a man, which involves understanding them and to some degree (having to) respect what they like, want, think, feel or else it won't work for them and y'all won't get what you want out of it- or at least respect me. That being said, it's fine that you don't like me. It's understandable, i'm not playing the role of the most likeable guy ever, here, just offering you insight that it seems that you don't parituclarly like. Exchange "MG" for "many (single) men," if you'd like. You just get a face and a name to specifically dis-like in not liking how many men think (but not necessarily say to anyone's face).

@ Callie-

I'm going to assume you're a late adopter to the insult "douchebag" and this is something you started throwing around within the last 6 months. That being said, replace "douchebag" with "jerk" "self-absorbed prick" etc. and we have no quarrel.

However, I'd also say that what you call "Self-aggrandizing drivel" I'd call tangible/verifiable example of a point I'm trying to just comes in the first person...again, replace "me/I" with "many (single) men" and it'd be the same thing, trust me.

Again, I'm fine with no being liked, I can play the fall guy on occasion. I'm not trying to win any dates here so I'm just offering it up raw. If I were trying to win some dates here, I'd present myself differently- which is exactly the dilemma anyone single faces in meeting new people: how they present themselves vs. what's actually going on inside.

Just trying to help. Think it over, please.



Anonymous said...

Why would anyone try to de-rail a discussion about the loveliness that is Jennifer Aniston?