Taking a boy break -- or am I?

I haven't written about a lot of the boys swirling about me these days. (The Teacher, The Teachalian, The Italian Stallion, The Mouse and The Banker all made appearances in some way during the holidays.) Because, to be honest, I needed a boy break.

The truth is... sometimes it is exhausting to be constantly thinking about my (lack of) love life. Sure, there are always randoms floating around (who'd have thunk that damn Banker would show up via random holiday texts -- THREE of them!), but I haven't really had a *real* date since The Lawyer. And we all know how that turned out.

So, I haven't been returning boys' calls.

I haven't been returning boys' emails.

I haven't been returning (some) boys' texts.

I just needed a break.

But, I think I am going to start '09 with a fresh perspective. Focus less on quantity and more on quality.

(Though, as Molly likes to remind me... it only takes one. So wouldn't my chances be better if I have more to choose from? Who knows.)

And here's fair warning: I may just need a couple more weeks of minimal boy interaction. Except, of course, for TMGB. Because he'll be back next week with his new weekly feature -- Man Mondays. (Which means I'll have to email with him in the meantime.)

(BTW, did you see his post this week? I effing loved it.)

Anyhow... what do you think? Should I continue with this self-imposed XY-ile (that's supposed to be a cutesy way to say "boy exile"), or should I surround myself with as many potentials as possible (figuring that at least someone might be worth dating?!?!)?

Laying down the law

I had another voicemail from The Lawyer last nite, calling to say hi and asking if I wanted to grab a drink sometime soon.

Side note: he started the message by saying, “Hi, stranger.” This is now the third time he has started a voicemail and/or email like that, and something about it just really annoys the crap out of me.

Anyhow, last nite’s message was a follow-up to the voicemail he left for me a couple of weeks ago and the email he sent before Thanksgiving. I didn’t return his call (was busy with Molly’s wedding stuff anyhow), but did send a nice – yet curt – email response wishing him a happy Turkey Day in return. However, I did not suggest getting together again (or ever talking/emailing again, for that matter) at all (e.g., there was no “Maybe we can catch up after the holidays” or “Talk to you soon” thrown in).

But he obviously hasn’t gotten the hint.

So this is just weird for me. I have never had to have the “I think you’re really nice, but we’d probably be better off as friends” discussion. I just feel very uncomfortable with the whole idea of that talk.

Because the truth is... he didn’t do anything wrong. (Unless, of course, you count admitting that you own leather pants wrong. I'm still on the fence.) I’m just not interested.

So what’s meaner… or nicer? To just sort of ignore him and let him figure it out on his own (which every other guy I've felt this way about has always done), or to flat out tell him I’m not interested (scary!!!)?

And do I owe it to him to have that discussion (knowing that it is going to give me severe anxiety to do so) when we’ve only been out twice?

Ugh. I am so bad at dating. (Lucky for me, apparently so is he!)

These guys are all turkeys

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I know I haven't written about many boy interactions lately because... well... there haven't been a lot to talk about.

(That's sort of a lie. I was preoccupied with Molly's wedding and some other stuff going on.)

But, in the case that you are looking for some easy reading to lull you into your Turkey Day tryptophan nap, here's a quick rundown of some of the lame (read: sad, boring and going nowhere) boy encounters I've had over the past couple of weeks:

• The Cop Facebook friended me. I accepted the request, but didn't do anything after that. Then I got a FB message from him a few days later that said, "You should call me sometime. Or text." Oh, yes, Cop. That has the makings of the start of an awesome new relationship.


• The Lawyer apparently did not get the hint after I ditched out on the prom. He called last week, but I was in Target (where my phone never works) so I missed the call. Then I got wrapped up in Molly's wedding stuff and never called him back. (Not that I really wanted to anyhow... if it were someone I really liked, I think I would have found the time to call.) THEN, I got an email from him earlier this week just checking in. UGH.


• I got cornered by The Chef at Molly's rehearsal dinner, but I think he's relatively harmless at this point. However, he did block my path to the bathroom -- literally -- then walked me to the bathroom (and seemingly almost came in!).


• The Banker just sent a text that said, "Happy Thanksgiving! Gobble gobble!!!" WTF? I haven't talked to him since the '60s. Plus, I'm fairly certain this was one of those mass texts that he probs sent to every girl in his phone. I think he's just looking for someone to stuff this Thanksgiving, if you know what I mean. Sorry, Banker.

Thankfully, there are a couple of new prospects on the horizon (most of whom I haven't even talked to yet -- they are finders' fee potentials). Let's hope they aren't turkeys too.

Note: one of the new potentials is a referral from a girl who once fixed up my friend Michele with a guy who wore jorts (jean shorts), pump tennis shoes and a concert tee on their first (and only) date. So, if nothing else, this should make for some good blog reading if it doesn't work out. Stay tuned!

To LBD or not to LBD

Before I decided not to go to the prom with The Lawyer, I ordered an assload of dresses from Nordstrom because I couldn't find anything I liked in person.

I knew I wanted to wear black (perhaps because I had already planned to be in mourning that nite, had I gone). And I didn't have any back-up wedding dresses to choose from because nearly all of the dresses I've worn to weddings lately have been bridesmaid dresses.

But by the time I decided not to go to prom, it was too late to cancel my order. So I got the package at work last Friday and tried on the dresses over the weekend.

Now I'm thinking of keeping this one, since it fits me really well and I know I have at least two weddings to go to next year that I actually get to pick my own dress for! (Read: I'm not a bridesmaid!)

But I'm a tad torn. Does the organza and/or bubble skirt make it a little too trendy? Will it be completely out of style by next summer? (If you want to get a closer look at the dress, click here.)

A girl can never have too many LBDs, can she? Or maybe this just means I actually need to do something fun/out on the town this year for New Year's Eve so I can wear it and be certain it won't be out of style yet. (More about how much I hate NYE in a future post.)

What do you think?

I effing hate all of you

"Just give him a chance!"

"Go! You might meet someone else there!"

"You should go. You'll have fun."

These are just some of the things I heard when I blogged about The Lawyer asking me to his law firm's prom. At that point, we had only been out once (and talked on the phone a few times).

But all of my readers (and friends who don't read the blog) said I should give him another chance.

So I did. On Wednesday. After two hours (and no dinner!), I packed it up for the nite and knew once and for all that I did not want to go out with him again.

Except... now I have to because he had already asked me to this thing. UGH. (Side note: who asks someone they've only been out with once to a black tie affair? Dorks, that's who.)

I am DREADING this black tie event next Saturday. As in, I would rather do the following things in lieu of going to this event:

• staple my eyelids to the carpet


• get a UTI or yeast infection


• wear pegged jeans on a date with an incredibly hot guy


• have extra fat injected into my ass and thighs

I have a feeling this is going to be a looooooong week. I already can't wait for Saturday to be over.

SERIOUSLY, PEEPS... is it too late to cancel? And if it's not, what should I say?

You give bad phone

What are the chances that someone you have about 3% chemistry with on the phone is going to offer you tons of chemistry in person? I'm struggling a bit with that right now.

Just hung up with The Lawyer. About halfway through the conversation (and probably three or four calls since I met him), I decided he is just sort of goofy. But then I thought that perhaps he just gives bad phone, so I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

We made a date to get together next Wednesday (I am literally booked from now until then). So I thought one more "in person" try would tell me for sure whether he IS goofy, or if he's just bad on the phone.

BUT. THEN. IT. HAPPENED.

He asked if I wanted to go to a "prom" for his law firm. It's black tie. It's the weekend before Molly's wedding. And it might be too late to say no (since I, well, sort of said yes).

I don't know what happened. I thought we were about to hang up, then he sprung this whole prom question on me. I guess maybe I just said yes because I was totally caught off guard!

So now I'm stuck going to an event with someone who I'm certain gives bad phone and may or may not give bad "in person" too. (Recall that I've seen him twice in person... once, when I met him and had far too many gin and tonics to remember anything about him; the other, when we went on the date where he stared at my chestal region.)

I did build in an escape plan once I found out when the event was by telling him that I had promised Molly I would do whatever she needed prior to the wedding. So, I said I needed to check with her before I could totally commit.

What would you do if you were this on the fence and had a black tie invite? I mean, grabbing a pizza and beer is one thing. Meeting his entire firm (that's what she said) at a black tie event is another. Help?!?!?!

Random weekend contacts

Had a lot of random run-ins/contact with some current and former XY interests over the weekend.

• The Pocket-sized Chef - saw him at a happy hour event I was at with my sister and brother-in-law. He again pretended like we sort of knew each other, but he wasn't sure from where. I almost reminded him that it was from his incessant phone stalking of me after we first met, but I refrained. I also discovered that I think I may be the same height as him (and I am 5'2").


• The Mouse - got several random text messages from him on Friday nite after the Pocket-sized Chef happy hour run-in. He was out in my neighborhood and wanted to see if I was out (I was home and in my PJs already), then wanted me to give suggestions for places he should go. Our text exchange reminded me that I need to make plans to catch up with him sometime soon b/c we are equals in the smartass department, which I enjoy. (And for those of you who are freaking out reading that, I mean to catch up AS FRIENDS.)


• The Chef - as I mentioned in this post, ran into him at 806 in Tremont.


• The Lawyer - missed a call from him on Sunday evening when I was charging my cell phone (aka Goldie) in the other room. I really do like his voice on messages (this was the first time he left a message... all other times he didn't, which I called him out on during our date). I'll call him back on Monday (it was around 9:45 when I saw the message, and I thought that was too late to return the call).


• The New York Politico (nka The DC Grad Student) - haven't heard from him since the '60s. Then I got a random Facebook post that just said, "Hi cutie." And for some reason, that made me smile more than any of the other boy run-ins this weekend. Weird.

Should be interesting to see what the rest of this month has in store based on the random collection of messages/run-ins in this three-day span. Maybe this is the result of the vibe I was feeling on Saturday! (See this post.)

P.S. Prepare yourselves now, readers. I'm heading to Florida on Thursday for a few days with my GF Molly before she gets married next month (guess you could call it a "friendmoon") and I probably won't be blogging much (if at all). Here's hoping I have some weird run-in with an 80-year-old retiree to keep us ALL entertained next week. :)

The jury's still out

Had a date with The Lawyer last nite. Overall, I had fun and would go out with him again. We went to a couple of places in Ohio City (was just supposed to be for a drink... ended up staying til about 11) and just basically hung out, chatted and had a few drinks.

(I was 10 minutes late. But I did call to tell him. And I probably talked too much. But that's what I do when I first meet someone. In actuality, though, he didn't have too hard of a time keeping up the conversation either.)

So I had a good time. But it was also one of those dates that I didn't necessarily leave thinking, "OMG, I can't WAIT to see that guy again." Then again, that could be a result of my many failed first dates and just being cautious now.

Let's break down the thought process.

THE PROS

• He is close with his family. He's even hosting Thanksgiving this year. (I offered to give him my recipe for artichoke dip... it's a huge family pleaser each holiday.) This is a huge plus for me.


• He has a good job. And he actually likes it.


• He wears a watch. This is not a superficial type of thing. It's a responsibility thing. I have found that guys who wear watches are responsible in other parts of their lives too. So that's why I always check.


• He's a gentleman. He paid for everything, walked me to my car, etc. You would think that's sort of a "duh" thing to expect, but not in this day and age.


• He likes queer music. Including Justin Timberlake. My friends and family will tell you that I am renown for liking teeny bopper crap, so I actually quite enjoyed this fact. (Though I was a little taken aback when he said his favorite artist is Prince.)

THE CONS

• I caught him staring at my (lack of) chest TWICE while in conversation. And this wasn't just a quick glimpse. It was a full-on not-making-eye-contact-with-me-for-at-least-five-seconds sort of stare. Seriously. Time five seconds. That is a really LONG time to not make eye contact with someone who is sitting directly next to you.


• Something about his hands was unnerving. And hands are important to me for whatever reason.


• He was not wearing an undershirt under his dress shirt. I can get over this, but it is something that my dad always said was important for a guy to do. Truth be told, I am so old school that I actually still wear slips sometimes (I swear, I am the only 32-year-old I know who does). But that's only when I'm not wearing Spanx. :)


• He owns leather pants (but apparently only wears them for Halloween now). But he actually used to wear them for real back about 8 or 10 years ago when he lived in New York working as a stockbroker. How very Seigfried & Roy of him.

Stay tuned. He asked for a second date when I was getting in my car (after he gave me a peck on the lips), then sent an email this morning referring to a joke we had made last nite. Hmmmm...

Cashing out

Much like the stock market has done the past few days, The Banker has tanked. We were supposed to do something on Tuesday nite (we had decided that over the weekend), but didn't have specific plans. I finally got a text from him at almost 5pm on Tuesday saying that he just found out he had his kids that nite, and could we reschedule for Thursday instead.

A few things:

• I don't think I've ever mentioned the fact that he has two kids before (ages 9 and 4). Truth is, I wasn't 100% sure how I felt about it, and I was trying to figure it out before sharing it with the world (and getting feedback/comments from all of you).


• The text in no way was apologetic. Nothing like, "I am so sorry to do this, but can we reschedule? Blah blah blah." Nope. Just, "Hey, I have the kids tonite. Can we reschedule?"


• The text arrived at NEARLY 5PM. I understand things coming up at the last minute, but I have GOT to believe he knew he was getting his kids sooner than that.

And you know what? I was sort of over it right then and there. I let him know very matter-of-factly (read: sort of bitchy) that I understood his responsibilities lie with his kids, but that he should have let me know way before 5pm that he needed to cancel. I don't think he liked that very much... have heard from him VERY little since then.

So, I think I might have cashed out on The Banker. Too much baggage. He got drunk both times I saw him in person. And I think he might actually be The Unemployed Banker right now based on a few Facebook wall posts I saw (which he never mentioned anything about to me). I have dated an unemployed guy before (who did not have two kids to boot), and I am not really interested in doing that again.

On another note, I have a date next Wednesday with The Lawyer that I met after my friend Molly's bachelorette party last weekend (the one whose card I had in my clutch, but wasn't sure who it was until I sober Facebooked him). He called yesterday, we chatted for about five minutes (while two guys in my office were borderline stalking me b/c we had to talk about a big work project), and we made plans to get together next week.

This lawyer is not to be confused with The Attorney (the guy who my father wants to fix me up with who my friends and I know through a six degrees connection). However, my dad did email me The Attorney's contact info before he and my mom left for their Mediterranean cruise. I'm sure he's hoping we'll be engaged by the time they come home.

So prepare yourselves, friends. I've got two potential lawyers/attorneys in the hopper... AND we'll be without comments from blogmom for 2.5 weeks! I'm not sure what's worse...