Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
During the revelry that was the all-girls bachelor party for our friend Brian a couple of weekends ago, I gave my number to a guy who was hanging out near us at the Velvet Dog.
What a mistake.
(And I wasn't even drunk.)
(OK, I wasn't even that drunk.)
Anyhow, he called three times the day after we met (but did not leave a message), then sent me a text the following day:
Ummm... that is just all kinds of wrong. (Especially b/c anyone who knows me in real life calls me the Grammar Queen. Even though I take a lot of grammatical liberties when it comes to my blog. Like that past non-sentence, for example.)
Anyhow, I immediately knew I was not interested. But I didn't want to be a complete bitch, so I politely wrote back (with correct grammar) and told him that I had a long day at work and was heading to a meeting for the rest of the nite.
Below is the series of follow-up texts that I received from him (none of which I responded to):
- Jus takin it easy. Call me when your done I want to talk to u. What type if (sic) work u do (sent late last Monday)
- Goodmorning AAB. Hope u have a wonderful day today. When u get a minute give me a call or text. ***Grammar Guy*** (sent last Tuesday morning before 7am -- and, yes, he did sign his name with three stars on either side of it)
- Hi AAB. Give me a call when u get this message. (sent later that same day around 5pm)
He then proceeded to call me TWICE that nite. The last time he called, he left a message and said he wasn't going to call again if I didn't call him back.(And, P.S., he talks just like he texts.)
I didn't call or text back. So I thought the saga was over. Until I got this doozy on Thursday:
Hi, Always a Bridesmaid. Jus wanted to know if I could meet u somewhere or take u out this weekend.
Now don't get me wrong. I realize that not everyone was an English major in college... but I also can not ever imagine dating someone who talks and/or texts like 50 Cent. I mean, the word "just" has a "t" on the end of it, FYI.Man, I obviously needed Jorge as a wingman the nite I met the Grammar Guy... to "jus" keep me AWAY from him!
***Always a Bridesmaid***
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
- I am just some crazy chic who quasi-stalked him after hanging out at a bar for less time than a episode of Real Housewives of NJ lasts.
- I'm not entiiiiiiiiiiirely sure I emailed the right guy. I mean, I'm 97% sure based on his (pretty unusual) name and college, but his FB profile was private so I couldn't check for sure.
- If I did email the right guy, maybe he doesn't have computer access yet, in which case he won't know that I emailed him. I mean, he did just move here last week. And he's probably got more important things to do. Like... oh, I don't know... start his residency.
- And even if I did email the right guy and he does have computer access, I have no idea how often he goes on/checks his FB account. He didn't have a profile pic, which leads me to believe it may not be all that often.
- And even if I did email the right guy and he did get the message... he might just not be interested. (Dummy.)
That said, I do have some hope for why he just miiiiiiiiight respond:
- I'm not gonna lie... my FB profile pic right now (which he will obvs see) is pretty darn cute. I even look like I have cleavage! (Thanks, Vic!)
- He told me that he couldn't wait to make new friends in Cleveland because he doesn't really like to hang out with people from work. (Which is all he knows right now.) Ahem. I'm friendly! (But not in that way, blogdad... don't worry.)
- Maybe he'd think it's flattering that some random chic tracked him down and emailed him. And, the message wasn't all creepy-stalkerish either. No "I could really see you fathering my children" type of messages here. Nope. Just played it cool and simply suggested that my friends and I would be happy to serve as the welcome wagon for him and his friends if they're trying to find fun/cool places to go in C-town (thinking it would be less creepy if I made it sound more like a group/casual thing).
Regardless, I honestly can't believe that I did it. Am I crazy? Or just really ballsy? Or both?
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
His name is Jorge. Jorge's original job was as the cake topper at the bachelorette party. But once the cake was served, the bride-to-be removed him from the cake, licked off the icing, handed him to me and told me that I'd be taking at least one guy home that nite.
And I'll tell you what... even though he was the only man who came home with me, this little guy proved very useful in starting conversations with many boys during Saturday nite's bachelorette festivities.
And what festivities they were.
The real party started around midnite when we left the Mercury Lounge and headed to the rooftop deck at The Velvet Dog. It was packed up there, the weather was awesome and everyone was feeling just tipsy enough to really get the party rolling.
The bride-to-be and many of her college friends were on a mission to find me a man.
And that's when we all saw him.
(Being 6'6", he was sorta hard to miss.)
So, with a few gin & tonics in my system and Jorge to back me up, I literally just walked right over and backed that thang up into the hottie. He was amenable (phew!), and we started chatting right away. Early on in our conversation, I learned that he had just moved to Cleveland last week from Chicago because he's starting his 3-year residency here.
And so was born McSizzle. (Even hotter than McSteamy or McDreamy.)
McSizzle and I chatted for quite a bit (at least, in tipsy/bar terms it was a while). But then I actually felt sorta bad ditching the party (even though everyone was watching the whole conversation from afar anyhow), so when I had to use the little girls' room I decided that I'd head straight back to the bachelorette group after I did. But as I did so, McSizzle grabbed my arm and pulled me over to talk to him again. Hmm... a definite sign of interest, no?
He was funny, cute, smart and outgoing. Tall, athletic build. Nice hands and teeth. Cool name. Told me I was the first Cleveland friend that he had made (he was there with other residents who were from out of town too), and suggested that he'd like to hang out again.
But as McSizzle and I talked, an honest-to-goodness So You Think You Can Dance-esque dance-off started, and our attention quickly turned to the craziness that ensued. I can honestly say I have never seen something like that in my life.
(And that's saying something, considering I have seen blogdad dirty dance with every single one of my friends.)
Let me try to paint the scene for you. Do you know the scene in the movie The Ten Commandements when Moses parts the Red Sea? Yeah, it was kinda like that, except in this scene, the "sea" was actually spilled beers and Jack & Cokes, and the "parting" was actually the formation of a giant dance circle, where various men entered trying to one-up the previous guy's moves in an effort to win the affections of our dear bachelorette.
There was the "jumping up and down" guy. (Actually, there were several.)
And the "pull my shirt over my head" guy.
Then "the worm" guy.
And "the breakdancer" guy.
Even McSizzle got in on the action at one point. (And, man. That boy could move.)
(Somewhere in there was also a 10-second boob flash from one of our party attendants. But I'm trying to erase that from my memory.)
So here's the problem... somewhere in the craziness of the 10-minute SYTYCD ridiculousness, I lost sight of McSizzle. Before I had a chance to pull the business card trick on him.
So now I'm left to wonder... should I "accidentally on purpose" hurt myself and head to the ER in the hopes of seeing him again... or just trust that Jorge has other plans in mind for me and see what's waiting in the second half of JDMFJCS June?
Friday, June 12, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Garnering 61% of the vote, this month's dating adventures will hereby be deemed Just Date Me for Jesus Christ's Sake June!
- Tuesday: rescheduled lunch soiree with The Ram. When we initially made these plans weeks ago (after we had run into each other about a hundred times in two weeks), I was really excited. But the more time has gone on (and we haven't seen each other), the more I've got a weird feeling about it. But sometimes gut instincts are wrong, right?
- Thursday: a political fundraiser with my aunt, who is hellbent on fixing me up with some guy that she knows is going to be at this thing. I am not sure how I feel about this potential set-up, seeing as a.) the last guy she wanted to fix me up with 110% looked like David Crosby and b.) she is not good at taking "no" for an answer. (From me.)
- Saturday: bachelorette party!!!! And you know what shows up when there is a gaggle of girls around? That's right: a gaggle of guys.