Sunday, August 16, 2009

Feast or famine

What's got two thumbs, started a diet/alcohol detox this week and still went to the Feast this weekend? THIS GIRL.

Dumb, I know.

(The starting a diet/no drinking before the Feast thing. And, actually, maybe the Feast thing in general.)

Don't get me wrong. I'm Italian. I love Italians. And I actually love the Feast. But what in the EFF makes everyone become one of the Gotti brothers when the Feast comes to Little Italy every year?

As you might have guessed, I did not find Mr. Future Always a Bridesmaid this weekend. However, I did find:

  • Several men wearing more hair product than me

  • A guy wearing a cut-up Ed Hardy t-shirt with cut-up jeans to match

  • A bazillion tattoos

  • A gazillion gold chains

  • Too many wife beaters to count

The best part about the nite was texting with Mr. X about everything going down around us (he was at a party somewhere else), including the creepy guys lurking around us and the cougars boogeying down to Disco Inferno in the tent. Though, I was disgusted when Mr. X suggested I go up to the lurkers and yank on their chest hair.

(Sorry, guys. Mr. X knows about the blog from mutual friends, and I've not quite figured out how to deal with that little sitch yet. So, until then, no writing about him. Though I suppose I just did, huh? See? Told you I'm still trying to figure it out.)

In the course of the nite, I also received this text from blogmom (while I was still at a party at a friend's house):

R u @ the feast

(Sidenote: I find it absolutely hilarious that blogmom uses shorthand when she texts my sissies and me. Or that she texts at all, for that matter.)

I told her I was still at the party, but would likely head down to the Feast soon. Then I asked her why she wanted to know, figuring it had something to do with a boy. I was right.

Met a man & his girlfriend & he knows [BLOGCOUSIN] & wants u 2 meet his son. Have his info & did NOT give out yours.

Now that's just mean, blogmom. You know I'm on a diet. I can't have any Italian sausage. ;)


~*~Lilly~*~ said...

Your mom is too cute! I don't think Ma Kettle (a nickname for my mom) has even figured out that her phone can send & receive texts. lol :)

Allison M. said...

I was there for about an hour yesterday. It was enough time for me to eat a stromboli and fried dough. I love fried dough.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Lilly -- I know, right? She also likes to add sound effects to text messages. Lucky for me, they don't come thru on my Blackberry.

Allison -- thanks, biotch. Rub it in. I had WATER.

MG said...

interesting point. I was there Saturday and explaining the phenom to my friend i was with...I think the "Guido" in Cleveland thing is a mere result of Cleveland not being big enough to stand on its own two feet culturally/ the rise of social networking. The east coast italian-american culture- not really having much of anything to do with actual Italy or being Italian- created itself organically in a contained fashion, devoid of media cxoverage. It became "cool" (depending on who you ask) and with the rise of Myspace circa 2005-2006 and the whole Gotti show "italian" kids in Cleveland and places like Pittsburgh, etc. saw how people acted on the East COast, associated that with a default "italian (american)" culture i.e. how one "should" act to embody ones italian-ness.

truthfully, there's really no reason for it as it's not Italian culture anywhere, it's East Coast italian-american culture thus anyone around here doing so is just trying to carry themselves in such fashion. Also interesting, granted there are much fewer Italian-Americans down South, but there were almost no "guido" types around there. Actually, I was confused as a New Yorker on occassion cuz of the dark hair and i wear collered shirts and never flip-flops....

I find it rather silly.

p.s. per the post, inclusion in this post about the diet stuff and how you feel you might have recoiled from accepting advances from men lately. A lot of guys will go through something very similar where they don't even bother trying to approach women/get their #'s/whatever but it's frequently tied to more financial type situations (think George Costanza).

hope your summer's been well!



FlipFlopGirl said...

"Now that's just mean, blogmom. You know I'm on a diet. I can't have any Italian sausage. ;)"

I thought you were cool before, but this phrase puts you in the "awesome and a half" column!

I also have a mom who texts with shorthand, and it still cracks me up that I even got her into texting.


Always a Bridesmaid said...

MG -- whatever the case, I sure wish the guys at the Feast would cool it with the too-tight Affliction shirts. Yikes.

Chars -- you should see when blogmom tries to add graphics and sound effects to her texts. She laughs so hard at herself! LOL.

Anonymous said...

Who is Mr. X?????? I'm dying to know!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Anon -- you may be dying to know, but he'd kill me if I told you. ;)

blogmom said...

I wish I could add sound effects to this comment. And, yes, I AM laughing thinking about it.

Have been using some sort of shorthand since the 60's - old habits are hard to break...

c u Thurs.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Ooooh, blogmom. You're so cute. :)