Tuesday, June 30, 2009

From the guy who can't forget me (Grammar Guy)...

... to the guy who doesn't even REMEMBER me (Amnesia Guy).

A few weeks ago, I got a Facebook friend request from a guy I briefly hung out with a couple of years ago. He and I had met at the Winking Lizard in Lakewood while we were both there watching a Cavs game.

That nite, he gave up his bar stool for me, we chatted all nite and then exchanged numbers (and a kiss) at the nite's end.

In the ensuing weeks, we hung out at each others' houses a few times, watching Cavs games and movies. We texted a lot, though we only occasionally talked on the phone. (Go figure.)

I even still have his number in my phone. (Remember my rule about not deleting numbers?)

Fast forward to the past couple of weeks.

I thought it was a little odd that he added me as a Facebook friend, but we did know a couple of people in common so I didn't think it was all that weird.

Until I got this message a day or so after I accepted his friend request:


i recently ran into someone that said that you and i went on a date that i cant rmember. You are a beautiful girl and im sure i wouldnt forget that. if we did go on a date please refresh my memory and let me know when and where and please forgive me.

I hope all is well.
Amnesia Guy

(AAB sidenote: I've gotta believe the person who told him that was The Banker, since they knew each other from growing up, which The Banker and I discovered when we were talking one day.)

For mother effin' real? How do you not remember hanging out with someone on a NUMBER of occasions? I mean, I get it if someone's name doesn't necessarily ring a bell. Or if you only saw the person one time. But c'mon.

The kicker is that we hung out no fewer than four times. And, I actually think there were a couple of other times that we ran into each other when we were out with our own groups of friends. But there were at least four times when it was JUST US.

So, I politely wrote him back, told him I was glad that I was so memorable, outlined in great detail the instances we hung out and thought that was the end of it.

Until he wrote back.

And asked me to call him. (His exact message was: call me xxx-xxx-xxxx.)

I didn't. (Eff you. If you can't even remember me, why would I bother?)

So then he wrote back again a couple of days later asking me to please call him because this has been driving him crazy and he just wants to make sure I was right. (His exact words, BTW.)

Um, I was definitely right, Amnesia Guy. When I broke it off with you years ago. Eeeew.

P.S. In case you're wondering, I responded to that last message from him with a big fat eff you. (Actually, I didn't say eff you per se. But I did tell him that I had no interest in rehashing the times we hung out when he couldn't even remember who I was. After, of course, I described in detail what his living room looked like so he knew that I wasn't making shit up. Bitchy? Probably. Necessary? Definitely.)


Sea Level is for Sissies said...

I think you need to start looking for men in another city other than Cleveland. I think men from Cleveland have issues. All of the ones who didn't moved away (if I might say so myself...LOL!) Have I told you Denver's nickname is Menver?

Chuck said...

the amnesia guy and the grammar guy are two stories that are almost unbelievable. Seriously?! People send texts like that? Check that, people send texts like that when they are above the age of 16? And amnesia guy? Wow. I was thinking for a second he might've been trying to be coy, but nah, he's just an idiot.

Where on earth do you meet these dudes?

Christina K said...

I can't stop giggling about the fact that you described his living room to him. So funny!

Anonymous said...

Amen, Sea Level...! Denver is where it's at girl! They raise 'em right out there....

d said...

OMFG that is INSANE.

And I am officially moving to Menver.

MG said...

Go you. Definitely. and while i was about to say you should have told him to fuck off, I think subtext can frequently be more irksome (for its receipient).

LOVE the description of living room for the clincher...my kind of style.

I immediately thought even before we met you had a bigger city vibe (Chicago certainly) and would do "better" there. Cleveland does suck for dating. Per (only) men from Cleveland having issues, definitely, but like anything else, it goes both ways too.

La Chiam

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Sea Level -- Menver? I'M IN!!!!

Chuck -- if it didn't happen to me, I wouldn't believe it myself...

Christina -- I almost described his kitchen table too, but I held back.

d -- let's book a trip together!!

MG -- the subtext thing must have worked. Haven't heard back from him. LOL.

MG said...


"AMNESIA IBIZA ES LA PUTA MADRE!!!"- some drunk English guy.

Allison M. said...

So you described his living room in detail and he doesn't remember?

hahah I think it's even funnier that he's begging for you to call him.

Poor boy.

Jane Doe said...

Maybe your Facebook pic doesn't really look much like real-life AAB? Still, though, even after so much detail in your descriptions, he should put two and two together and get at least four.

alexa @clevelandsaplum said...


i don't know what to say?!?

this stuff could only happen to you.

Anonymous said...

MG - "you are a Effing idiot" - Me

t-bone said...

Amnesia Guy MAY just be my favorite tale yet! I mean, come on dude!

MG said...

@ Anon-

buahahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah, right, sure I am...

Chuck said...

totally agree with Alexa btw...and I want to meet anon #2. HILARIOUS!

All Lacquered Up said...

Seriously, is this guy brain damaged?? If he found your facebook pic attractive and was even slightly interested, what kind of tool would play dumb for so long?

Making a girl feel like a jackass for remembering a short fling is not the way to get back in her pants even if you don't remember being there in the first place. Not that I'm insinuating that anything happened between you two but still.

Anonymous said...

Jeez, even I remember girls I dated before meeting Blogmom--- and that was over 40 years ago!! Amnesia guy must have done severe drugs not to remember being in the company of one of the most charming, sophisticated, beautiful, funny and talented eligible women in the world. He is a LOSER. You were smart to stop seeing him before...no second chances, not that it would even be an option with you.

Love ya,

Pittsy said...

Um, I met Amnesia Guy and didn't like him from the get-go. He was a jackass then and clearly still is now.