These guys are all turkeys

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I know I haven't written about many boy interactions lately because... well... there haven't been a lot to talk about.

(That's sort of a lie. I was preoccupied with Molly's wedding and some other stuff going on.)

But, in the case that you are looking for some easy reading to lull you into your Turkey Day tryptophan nap, here's a quick rundown of some of the lame (read: sad, boring and going nowhere) boy encounters I've had over the past couple of weeks:

• The Cop Facebook friended me. I accepted the request, but didn't do anything after that. Then I got a FB message from him a few days later that said, "You should call me sometime. Or text." Oh, yes, Cop. That has the makings of the start of an awesome new relationship.


• The Lawyer apparently did not get the hint after I ditched out on the prom. He called last week, but I was in Target (where my phone never works) so I missed the call. Then I got wrapped up in Molly's wedding stuff and never called him back. (Not that I really wanted to anyhow... if it were someone I really liked, I think I would have found the time to call.) THEN, I got an email from him earlier this week just checking in. UGH.


• I got cornered by The Chef at Molly's rehearsal dinner, but I think he's relatively harmless at this point. However, he did block my path to the bathroom -- literally -- then walked me to the bathroom (and seemingly almost came in!).


• The Banker just sent a text that said, "Happy Thanksgiving! Gobble gobble!!!" WTF? I haven't talked to him since the '60s. Plus, I'm fairly certain this was one of those mass texts that he probs sent to every girl in his phone. I think he's just looking for someone to stuff this Thanksgiving, if you know what I mean. Sorry, Banker.

Thankfully, there are a couple of new prospects on the horizon (most of whom I haven't even talked to yet -- they are finders' fee potentials). Let's hope they aren't turkeys too.

Note: one of the new potentials is a referral from a girl who once fixed up my friend Michele with a guy who wore jorts (jean shorts), pump tennis shoes and a concert tee on their first (and only) date. So, if nothing else, this should make for some good blog reading if it doesn't work out. Stay tuned!

Random weekend contacts

Had a lot of random run-ins/contact with some current and former XY interests over the weekend.

• The Pocket-sized Chef - saw him at a happy hour event I was at with my sister and brother-in-law. He again pretended like we sort of knew each other, but he wasn't sure from where. I almost reminded him that it was from his incessant phone stalking of me after we first met, but I refrained. I also discovered that I think I may be the same height as him (and I am 5'2").


• The Mouse - got several random text messages from him on Friday nite after the Pocket-sized Chef happy hour run-in. He was out in my neighborhood and wanted to see if I was out (I was home and in my PJs already), then wanted me to give suggestions for places he should go. Our text exchange reminded me that I need to make plans to catch up with him sometime soon b/c we are equals in the smartass department, which I enjoy. (And for those of you who are freaking out reading that, I mean to catch up AS FRIENDS.)


• The Chef - as I mentioned in this post, ran into him at 806 in Tremont.


• The Lawyer - missed a call from him on Sunday evening when I was charging my cell phone (aka Goldie) in the other room. I really do like his voice on messages (this was the first time he left a message... all other times he didn't, which I called him out on during our date). I'll call him back on Monday (it was around 9:45 when I saw the message, and I thought that was too late to return the call).


• The New York Politico (nka The DC Grad Student) - haven't heard from him since the '60s. Then I got a random Facebook post that just said, "Hi cutie." And for some reason, that made me smile more than any of the other boy run-ins this weekend. Weird.

Should be interesting to see what the rest of this month has in store based on the random collection of messages/run-ins in this three-day span. Maybe this is the result of the vibe I was feeling on Saturday! (See this post.)

P.S. Prepare yourselves now, readers. I'm heading to Florida on Thursday for a few days with my GF Molly before she gets married next month (guess you could call it a "friendmoon") and I probably won't be blogging much (if at all). Here's hoping I have some weird run-in with an 80-year-old retiree to keep us ALL entertained next week. :)

Birthday a-go-go (or a-Lago)

SURPRISE! I couldn't write about this yesterday b/c I wasn't sure if my friend Christina knew what we were doing for her bday (she didn't). Her hubby Phil planned a dinner get-together at Lago in Tremont for her 30th bday, complete with a cake that was a replica of the purse he bought her to commemorate the occasion.

We had lots of laughs all nite (and MANY "that's what she saids"). And while I did not meet the future Mr. Always a Bridesmaid, I did get a lead on a couple of potentials from a friend's GF and told her that I would consider upping the finders' fee to make things move a bit faster. Looking forward to seeing what comes of that discussion.

The only real guy stories to speak of for last nite included our waiter, Walter, who gave my friend Vikki a piece of paper with all of his contact information on it (including his height, weight and eye/hair color -- though I'm not sure why, since he was basically Howard Stern's twin and I don't think we'd forget that). We're still not sure why he gave Vik his digits and email (and physical description), other than he heard her say her hubs was out of town and maybe was hoping for a little "while the cat's away" action.

Also had a run-in with The Chef from the nite of my friend Molly's bachelorette party. Thankfully, I was MUCH more coherent this time, so I know nothing inappropriate was said (i.e., "you should come to the wedding with me!") or done (i.e., sticking a penis straw in his face every two seconds).

Other than that, we just had fun helping Christina celebrate her big bday. (Or should I say bmonth? I swear, I have never seen someone so excited to be turning 30!)

We knew the nite went well when we heard the Edith Bunker voice come out on Christina (it's her "drunk voice"). Thankfully for her, Phil is no Archie.

Blackout bachelorette bash

Well, my blog friends, Molly's bachelorette bash was a success. The guest of honor had a great time, the food and drink was aplenty and, of course, there are crazy boy stories coming out the back end of the party.

Most notably, apparently I befriended The Chef (not to be confused with The Pocket-Sized Chef) at the restaurant we were at. I also *may* have told him that he should be my date for Molly's wedding (which was told to me this morning; I don't remember this conversation AT ALL).

What I do remember is going through my clutch this morning to find a handwritten piece of paper with all of The Chef's contact info on it, along with the business card of an attorney that I don't even remember meeting.

Note to self: find a new drink of choice. I always knew gin and tonics had the potential of making me mean, but now I know they also make me completely black out.

Anyhow, apparently after chatting with The Chef for some time, he gave me all of his contact info (perhaps b/c he thought we were going to the wedding together -- maybe we are?!?!?). And I logged onto Facebook today to find a friend request from him. I mean, I don't remember anything we talked about. Who knew I could still be charming when I am blackout drunk?

In other news, I did meet up with The Banker on Friday nite for a bit. Met him for a few drinks after he had a dinner party (which I later found out was for his cousin -- which meant his family was still at the restaurant when we met up).

We had fun and laughed a ton, though he did get pretty drunk by the end of the nite (then again, who am I to talk after my performance last nite?). I was slightly weirded out that he called me "babe" when he called to make sure I got home OK, but I'm going to chalk it up to the drinking.

Let's hope The Chef is as forgiving and realizes our talk about him being my wedding date should be chalked up to the Tanqueray. Regardless, rehearsal dinner is sure to bring some additional stories, since it's at the same restaurant we were at last nite.

The phrase of this weekend became "I didn't think this through" (courtesy of our friend, Michele). Man, truer words were never spoken.

P.S. Thanks for giving us an excuse to party, Molls. Hope you had a blast at your final fling before the ring!