Not a total write-off?

(First of all... is "write-off" an insurance term or a tax term? Hmmm. Well, for our purposes, let's pretend it has something to do with insurance, even though I'm pretty sure that's wrong.)


So there's been something I haven't been telling you guys about my dating life. I decided in early January that there might be some life left in some of the random dates I had over the summer and fall, so I decided that I needed to force myself to reconnect with some of those guys JIC. (Just in case.)

But now I feel like I should come clean because I actually (sort of) have a conversation going with one of them. (I was reluctant to blast this across the blogosphere in case none of them went anywhere.) But let's not get too excited here, peeps. Because I'm still not sure where this one is headed.

The Insurance Guy was the first boy who popped into my head when I made this pact with myself. (Click on The Insurance Guy tag on this post if you want to read all of the previous entries about him.) If you remember, my high school friend had introduced us over the summer, and he and I went on a couple of dates (and he also met my friend and me out for drinks once.) He is very cute, smart, professionally successful and funny. (He also wears a watch and has clean fingernails.) A perfect AAB match.

Well, an almost perfect match.

What held me back over the summer was that he was in the middle of a divorce when we met, and I just wasn't sure I was ready to go there again after The Divorcee. (He also has a son, but that honestly didn't bother me at all. Especially since one of my "musts" is someone who is family oriented.) I was also willing to admit that maybe he just wasn't that into me (the horror!) either. But I figured I should at least give it a shot to see what might happen.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago.

While commenting on a friend's Facebook status (not the friend who fixed us up), I saw The Insurance Guy's name pop up as a mutual FB friend. Whoa. It was like karma! So I took a deep breath, hoped I wasn't making a huge ass out of myself and sent him a little FB message to say hi. I did not, however, friend him. Just sent him a little note.

A few hours later, I got a friend request from him.

Since then, we have exchanged a few messages, including one where he told me to pop in next time I'm in the neighborhood (his office is in the same building as one of the boards that I'm on). A little harmless FB conversation, if you will.

It's been a little weird in that I feel like I had been the one initiating most of the conversation (or, to be more accurate, e-versations). But that's what this whole little mission to myself was all about, right?

And I know you're thinking... AAB, you're the first one to tell a guy to call and not use gadgets to connect with love interests. And you're right. But I didn't want to call because I was still trying to feel out whether he's dating someone (which I still don't know). So I've been playing it low-key (while admittedly semi-stalking his FB page to get clues about whether he's single).

(BTW, his divorce is now over. Final court date? My birthday. Weird.)

Anyhow... late last nite, I got a FB message from him. An original one. Not a reply to something I had written. He was just writing to say hi, ask about my high school friend who initially fixed us up and tell me to let him know when she and I are going out again so he could meet us for a drink.

So now I don't know what to think. On one hand, it sounds like he just wants a very casual meet-up with me and my friend (maybe more to see her than me!). On the other, he did initiate this message and suggested getting together (albeit with another person).

What would you have done?

Well, I'll tell you what I did. With my new-found balls and promise to myself to pursue any guy that might have been a good match for me, I wrote back. And I told him that I'd let him know when my friend and I got together again. But that I wouldn't be against grabbing a drink in the meantime (without her).

As I wait for his response... is there anyone else that you think I should maybe try to reconnect with? (He's been the only one so far.) Leave a comment or send me an email.

But for the love of all things holy... don't even think about suggesting The Gyno Guy.

So many contacts, so little time

I went to send a text message to my friend Carrie earlier (re: plans for this weekend's shower/bachelorette party combo for our friend Molly, of course -- Always a Bridesmaid!) and while I was doing that, saw a contact a few down from Carrie's name that I'm not sure belongs in my phone. In fact, there are a lot of randoms' numbers in my phone that probably don't belong there.

But here's what I've learned: every time I delete the number of a guy I have in my phone, he inevitably calls after I delete the number (hello, The Groundhog!!)... and I sometimes answer (not knowing, of course, who is calling)... and I always regret it.

So, I now leave most boys' numbers in my contact list whether I think I'll talk to them again or not... just in case. Here are some of the guys I will probably never talk to again, but still keep in my phone anyhow:

• The Pocket-Sized Chef: This is the Chris Kattan look-alike I referenced in this post. I met him at a happy hour at a bar near my sister's house and could tell he sort of liked me. But I just wasn't feeling it. He called and texted a bunch of times, but I didn't want to lead him on in any way, so I didn't respond. But I left his number in my phone in case he ever calls or texts again. I don't think he will, considering when I ran into him again (at a second happy hour with my sister about a month later), he came up to me like he wasn't sure he recognized me (duh) and was like, "Always a Bridesmaid, right?" LOL.


• The DJ: I have never even talked to, seen, texted or anything else with this guy. Someone gave him my number, he called and left a vm, and I saved his number in case he ever calls again. But a DJ? I think I'm too old for that. But, he's staying in my phone because you never know when you might need someone to spin a lil' JT at a wedding shower or something.


• The Insurance Guy: I went on two or three dates with this guy, who I was set up with by my friend Maureen. He was really cute and had a very dry sense of humor, but he's in the middle of a divorce (his final court date is on my birthday! WEIRD!), and I think he's maybe a teeny bit too quiet for me. But I would definitely go out with him again, so that's why he's still in my phone.


• The Intern: This guy was an intern for my company yeeeaaarrrsss ago (and I was kinda maybe sorta his supervisor). He was one of our first male interns, and every woman in our office thought he was "a hunk" (this term was LITERALLY used to describe him). Everything was on the up and up when he was my intern, but fast forward to this past Fall when we started talking again when he was seeking career advice. We hung out when he was home visiting his family (he lived in Chicago at the time; he has since moved to NYC), and he still sometimes sends me little messages here and there. So, he's not going anywhere on the contact list.


• The High School Stalker: Picture it. Lunchtime in my building. I'm getting a bowl of turkey chili from the little corner deli. I sense a guy staring at me out of the corner of my eye. What I didn't realize was that I was holding my building ID with my name facing him, so he knew who I was. Turned out the guy was a stalker I had in high school. I went out with him once (to a movie) back in H.S., and on the way home he told me he loved me. ONE DATE. He also used to sit outside my house because he knew when my curfew was and wanted to see me come home every weekend nite. So why, you ask, would I even give him my number to begin with when I saw him again (minus the fact that I didn't want my chili to get cold)? Well, I was totally caught off guard, and I knew he was doing construction work on my building (and figured if I gave him a fake number, I would see him again and he'd go psycho on me). His stalker ass, of course, called me several times after I ran into him, but I never called him back. His number is in my phone so I can screen, screen, screen! (Truth be told, I often duck when I see a guy with a shaved head doing work in my building -- you can never be too careful with a stalker!)


• The Murse - Part 2: This is not my six-year relationship guy, but this guy was also a male nurse. I met him when he found my profile in a Cleveland Magazine article about "hot singles," and he emailed me out of the blue (seven or eight months after the article ran) because he said he "liked what he read." He was the kind of guy who would make an awesome friend, but there was zero, zilch, nunca chemistry. To be honest, I'm not sure there's a good reason he's still in my contacts, but it sort of feels weird to delete him and not guys like The High School Stalker. So I guess he made the cut out of pity.


• The Sweater Guy: This guy now lives in Chicago, but lived here when we met. He's a six degrees of separation guy, in that he met and liked my friend Molly three or four years before we met. We called him The Sweater Guy because both Molly and I met him at the same bar in Westlake (years apart, mind you), and he was wearing THE SAME EXACT sweater both times. I wrote him off when he told me to meet him out at the Blind Pig after a Tribe game, and I walked in to the bar only to see him making out with some other girl. That's when I knew The Sweater Guy's chances had come undone.


• The Gyno Guy: The guy I wrote about in this post. 'nuff said.

And that just takes me to the M's in my contact list!! Wow. My phone sure makes it seem like I have a thriving social life. Too bad it's mostly so I can avoid the boys who have been in it thus far!

Do you still have contacts in your phone who have no business being there?

Just getting started...

I've been threatening to start a blog about my dating life for some time now, and a recent first date moved me into action. I kid you not, the guy asked me who my gyno was over dinner. (It should be noted that he sold lady part medical supplies for a living, but STILL. He asked me about my hoo-hah over a cured meat plate appetizer!!)

Does this stuff happen to anyone other than me?!?!?

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy my sometimes fun, sometimes bad, but always entertaining dating stories. And when I get a book or movie deal out of this crap, I promise not to forget the little people. :)