Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Like, ohmigod!!!

Even though this week's poll question is still officially open, I made the decision (or, actually, YOU made the decision) for what I'm going to be. Which is good, considering my happy hour party is tomorrow (Thursday) nite.

So, Elle Woods here I come. Pink dress? Check. Pink cardigan? Check. Pink heart headband? Check. Pink purse? Check. Tiffany jewelry? Check. Stuffed chihuahua? Check.

Cute ex-boyfriend to chase after to Harvard? No. (But honestly -- Warner was pretty much a douchebag anyhow, and I would never really want to date someone like him in real life.)

However, I wouldn't mind finding a guy like Elle's Emmett. (The character played by Luke Wilson.) As my friend Michele would say... I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers. He was sweet, funny, cute and totally into Elle.

Now let's just hope that guys like Emmett are hanging out at the Bier Markt tomorrow around 7ish. Because if there are... well... BEND... AND... SNAP.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Happy anniversary, sissy!

Two years ago today, my baby sister Jenna got married. My sister Julie was engaged at the time. And I was at the wedding alone after recently breaking up with The Divorcee (for about the 50th time). I literally thought I was going to puke every time I heard someone say, "You're NEXT!" Duh. Jenna's married and Julie has a ring on her finger, you bonehead.

Anyhow, I wish I had discovered this Web site sooner (check it out -- it's HILARIOUS), because I totally would have sent Jenna and Gary this e-card for their big day:

So, instead, I'm sending it today! Happy anniversary, sis.

You give bad phone

What are the chances that someone you have about 3% chemistry with on the phone is going to offer you tons of chemistry in person? I'm struggling a bit with that right now.

Just hung up with The Lawyer. About halfway through the conversation (and probably three or four calls since I met him), I decided he is just sort of goofy. But then I thought that perhaps he just gives bad phone, so I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

We made a date to get together next Wednesday (I am literally booked from now until then). So I thought one more "in person" try would tell me for sure whether he IS goofy, or if he's just bad on the phone.


He asked if I wanted to go to a "prom" for his law firm. It's black tie. It's the weekend before Molly's wedding. And it might be too late to say no (since I, well, sort of said yes).

I don't know what happened. I thought we were about to hang up, then he sprung this whole prom question on me. I guess maybe I just said yes because I was totally caught off guard!

So now I'm stuck going to an event with someone who I'm certain gives bad phone and may or may not give bad "in person" too. (Recall that I've seen him twice in person... once, when I met him and had far too many gin and tonics to remember anything about him; the other, when we went on the date where he stared at my chestal region.)

I did build in an escape plan once I found out when the event was by telling him that I had promised Molly I would do whatever she needed prior to the wedding. So, I said I needed to check with her before I could totally commit.

What would you do if you were this on the fence and had a black tie invite? I mean, grabbing a pizza and beer is one thing. Meeting his entire firm (that's what she said) at a black tie event is another. Help?!?!?!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Dancing with the Stars: Florida Edition (aka Dancing in the Bars)

Just landed a couple of hours ago from my long weekend trip to Florida with my friend Molly. We had a great time (in spite of the crappy weather for most of the trip), ate a ton of good meals (steak, sushi and seafood dinners) and spent a lot of unanticipated cash (read: we were determined to come back with at least a LITTLE color, so when the weather didn't cooperate we found a tanning salon that did).

And, so as to not disappoint you, we did get one good boy incident out of the weekend.

(I'm not kidding when I say that Molly was on the hunt for a guy just so we could get a blog story out of it.)

We met up with Molly's future bro-in-law's wife's sister (is that confusing enough for you?), who is a super cute 26-year-old girl who lives in Naples. Naturally, we figured Paige would be able to show us a good time, and she did not disappoint.

She met us for a drink on Friday nite, learned about this blog and the finders' fee, then had a bunch of her friends meet up with us later in the nite. That's when I met The Florida Dancing Guy.

He and I actually didn't talk much at the first bar we were at (truth be told, I was convinced he was talking to a transvestite for most of the nite), but something bizarre happened at the second bar.

While "Barefoot Gino" played his one-man band at the back of the second bar (I can't make this stuff up), The Florida Dancing Guy grabbed me, said he loved to dance, told me how sexy I was and pulled me toward the dance floor.

He then proceeded to whip me around Dancing with the Stars style (side note: I am secretly obsessed with that show), accidentally elbow me in the mouth during one of his spin maneuvers, then end our routine with a full-on dip. The only thing missing were the sequins and judging cards.

We ended up hanging out the rest of the nite, he fed me every line in the book and tried his best to make a sleepover happen.

Much to his chagrin, the only person I shared a bed with during the trip was Molls. (Mostly because we only wanted to have one set of sheets to wash when we left, and we are both pretty much the most still/lifeless sleepers you have ever met so it wasn't a big deal to share a king-size bed.)

So while The Florida Dancing Guy probably didn't get what he wanted, Paige got a mention on the blog, I got a good workout on the dance floor and a whole host of folks in Naples now know about the finders' fee.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Fun in the... rain?

I'm heading to Florida this afternoon for a short trip with my friend Molly. YEAH!

It's supposed to rain while we're there. BOO!

(Also BOO: I have to wear a bathing suit next to Molly, who is basically like a Jennifer Aniston body double... maybe minus the top half of the bikini, if you know what I mean. :))

I'm guessing there will be some good nasty old men stories to write about when I get home. Molly and I always seem to meet randoms when we're together, so I'm imagining this trip won't be any different. And it's not like there are likely to be a lot of young, hot, single guys milling around Bonita Springs.

Coming on the heels of me being hit on by a grampa at a "special persons" day for my friend's daughter's preschool, I may be on to something. I've never really explored the octogenarian age set. This may open up a whole new world of dating to me!

Will write again soon!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Praying for my love life... literally

My parents have arrived home safe and sound after their Mediterranean adventure (so jeal!), and I just caught up with them to get a debrief about some of their favorite parts of the trip. They visited our extended family in Milan for a few days, then headed to other parts of Italy, Greece and Croatia on a cruise.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my dad was very excited to tell me about a church they visited in Italy devoted to St. Nicholas. While you may know St. Nicholas as our modern-day Santa Claus, he's also apparently the patron saint of single women. Who knew?

Dad informed me that there was a box in the church where single women could place the name of someone they hoped to land as their future husband. Of course, dear old dad wrote down something about me and put it in the box.

I'm imagining it went something like this:

Dear Saint Nicholas --

Please bring my daughter a Christmas present in the form of a tall, dark and handsome man. Who has a good job. And can finally take her off my hands.

Always a Bridesmaid's Dad

After I talked to my dad, I briefly chatted with my mom (poor thing -- she sounded exhausted!!) and she told me that they brought a little souvenir home for me. Wonder what his name is.


St. Nicholas works FAST! I literally hit "publish post" on this entry and got a text five minutes later from The Banker that just said "I miss talking about shows with ya." WTF? He was the one who stopped calling me (albeit after I not-so-nicely told him that he should give a girl a little notice if he had to cancel plans). Weird timing? Or saints at work? Hmmm... only time will tell.

Monday, October 20, 2008

I'm not censoring...

... I'm protecting. The random boys in my life, that is.

That's why your blog comments don't automatically appear when you submit them.

I'm OK'ing all blog comments before they're published so none of the guys' real names get accidentally published here. (It did happen once, but those comments have since been deleted.)

Here's the rule: as long as no one's name is mentioned, I'll publish what you submit (even if you say you think I'm crazy for checking out a guy's wrist for a watch or telling me I'm judging someone too quickly).

That said... please keep the comments coming!! Just be sure to protect the anonymity of the innocent... and the guilty.

(But that doesn't mean you can't say something negative about the losers -- just use their fake names.)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Random weekend contacts

Had a lot of random run-ins/contact with some current and former XY interests over the weekend.
  • The Pocket-sized Chef - saw him at a happy hour event I was at with my sister and brother-in-law. He again pretended like we sort of knew each other, but he wasn't sure from where. I almost reminded him that it was from his incessant phone stalking of me after we first met, but I refrained. I also discovered that I think I may be the same height as him (and I am 5'2").

  • The Mouse - got several random text messages from him on Friday nite after the Pocket-sized Chef happy hour run-in. He was out in my neighborhood and wanted to see if I was out (I was home and in my PJs already), then wanted me to give suggestions for places he should go. Our text exchange reminded me that I need to make plans to catch up with him sometime soon b/c we are equals in the smartass department, which I enjoy. (And for those of you who are freaking out reading that, I mean to catch up AS FRIENDS.)

  • The Chef - as I mentioned in this post, ran into him at 806 in Tremont.

  • The Lawyer - missed a call from him on Sunday evening when I was charging my cell phone (aka Goldie) in the other room. I really do like his voice on messages (this was the first time he left a message... all other times he didn't, which I called him out on during our date). I'll call him back on Monday (it was around 9:45 when I saw the message, and I thought that was too late to return the call).

  • The New York Politico (nka The DC Grad Student) - haven't heard from him since the '60s. Then I got a random Facebook post that just said, "Hi cutie." And for some reason, that made me smile more than any of the other boy run-ins this weekend. Weird.

Should be interesting to see what the rest of this month has in store based on the random collection of messages/run-ins in this three-day span. Maybe this is the result of the vibe I was feeling on Saturday! (See this post.)

P.S. Prepare yourselves now, readers. I'm heading to Florida on Thursday for a few days with my GF Molly before she gets married next month (guess you could call it a "friendmoon") and I probably won't be blogging much (if at all). Here's hoping I have some weird run-in with an 80-year-old retiree to keep us ALL entertained next week. :)

Guy Glossary

I've heard from more than a few of you that you want some sort of "guy glossary" on the blog. Seeing as I am somewhat technologically challenged (and I don't want to spend as much time managing the glossary as writing the blog), I thought the easiest way to do that was to add this "guy glossary" of blog tags.

So if you want to get the full back story on any of the guys I talk about here, click on their names in the labels list on the left. Or, you can always click on the tags at the end of any entry to find all of the entries on a specific guy.

Hint: the label tags are in alpha order, so just check out the "The" section to find most of the guys' (fake) names there.

Birthday a-go-go (or a-Lago)

SURPRISE! I couldn't write about this yesterday b/c I wasn't sure if my friend Christina knew what we were doing for her bday (she didn't). Her hubby Phil planned a dinner get-together at Lago in Tremont for her 30th bday, complete with a cake that was a replica of the purse he bought her to commemorate the occasion.

We had lots of laughs all nite (and MANY "that's what she saids"). And while I did not meet the future Mr. Always a Bridesmaid, I did get a lead on a couple of potentials from a friend's GF and told her that I would consider upping the finders' fee to make things move a bit faster. Looking forward to seeing what comes of that discussion.

The only real guy stories to speak of for last nite included our waiter, Walter, who gave my friend Vikki a piece of paper with all of his contact information on it (including his height, weight and eye/hair color -- though I'm not sure why, since he was basically Howard Stern's twin and I don't think we'd forget that). We're still not sure why he gave Vik his digits and email (and physical description), other than he heard her say her hubs was out of town and maybe was hoping for a little "while the cat's away" action.

Also had a run-in with The Chef from the nite of my friend Molly's bachelorette party. Thankfully, I was MUCH more coherent this time, so I know nothing inappropriate was said (i.e., "you should come to the wedding with me!") or done (i.e., sticking a penis straw in his face every two seconds).

Other than that, we just had fun helping Christina celebrate her big bday. (Or should I say bmonth? I swear, I have never seen someone so excited to be turning 30!)

We knew the nite went well when we heard the Edith Bunker voice come out on Christina (it's her "drunk voice"). Thankfully for her, Phil is no Archie.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Feeling a vibe...

I'll be out in Tremont tonite, and for some reason I already have a vibe that I'm going to have a really, really fun time. That doesn't necessarily equate to me meeting my future husband, but you never know... :)

Plus, I've found that when guys see a group of girls having fun, they're much more likely to approach than if the same group of said girls is pouting in their Cosmos because no guys are talking to them.

So, if you're out and about tonite and see a loud, fun group of gals (at least one of whom is single!), send the cute boys our way!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

WANTED: Cleveland version of this man

He's smart. He's funny. He's family-oriented. He has a job that he likes. He wears a watch. He's got nice hands. He's a cute dresser. He's pretty metrosexual. He's adorably cute.

But he's also married. Boo.

But I'll still always love him anyhow.

(Note to my readers: if you can get Mr. Lauer to leave that wife of his and move to Cleveland (he can bring the kids with him), the finders' fee will go up significantly. Just sayin'.)

The jury's still out

Had a date with The Lawyer last nite. Overall, I had fun and would go out with him again. We went to a couple of places in Ohio City (was just supposed to be for a drink... ended up staying til about 11) and just basically hung out, chatted and had a few drinks.

(I was 10 minutes late. But I did call to tell him. And I probably talked too much. But that's what I do when I first meet someone. In actuality, though, he didn't have too hard of a time keeping up the conversation either.)

So I had a good time. But it was also one of those dates that I didn't necessarily leave thinking, "OMG, I can't WAIT to see that guy again." Then again, that could be a result of my many failed first dates and just being cautious now.

Let's break down the thought process.

  • He is close with his family. He's even hosting Thanksgiving this year. (I offered to give him my recipe for artichoke dip... it's a huge family pleaser each holiday.) This is a huge plus for me.

  • He has a good job. And he actually likes it.

  • He wears a watch. This is not a superficial type of thing. It's a responsibility thing. I have found that guys who wear watches are responsible in other parts of their lives too. So that's why I always check.

  • He's a gentleman. He paid for everything, walked me to my car, etc. You would think that's sort of a "duh" thing to expect, but not in this day and age.

  • He likes queer music. Including Justin Timberlake. My friends and family will tell you that I am renown for liking teeny bopper crap, so I actually quite enjoyed this fact. (Though I was a little taken aback when he said his favorite artist is Prince.)


  • I caught him staring at my (lack of) chest TWICE while in conversation. And this wasn't just a quick glimpse. It was a full-on not-making-eye-contact-with-me-for-at-least-five-seconds sort of stare. Seriously. Time five seconds. That is a really LONG time to not make eye contact with someone who is sitting directly next to you.

  • Something about his hands was unnerving. And hands are important to me for whatever reason.

  • He was not wearing an undershirt under his dress shirt. I can get over this, but it is something that my dad always said was important for a guy to do. Truth be told, I am so old school that I actually still wear slips sometimes (I swear, I am the only 32-year-old I know who does). But that's only when I'm not wearing Spanx. :)

  • He owns leather pants (but apparently only wears them for Halloween now). But he actually used to wear them for real back about 8 or 10 years ago when he lived in New York working as a stockbroker. How very Seigfried & Roy of him.

Stay tuned. He asked for a second date when I was getting in my car (after he gave me a peck on the lips), then sent an email this morning referring to a joke we had made last nite. Hmmmm...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Awwww... I feel the love!

I got a lot of unsolicited... I mean... helpful feedback last week about what you'd like to see to make this blog even more fun for you to follow. In fact, I thought all of the suggestions were SOOOOO good that I put them up on the voting block for this week's poll question.

Of course, I needed one last survey answer option after adding the three blog improvement ideas that I got last week. So I threw in the random question about me finding a boyfriend.
Imagine my surprise when I checked the poll results to date (there are still five days left to vote, so I'm not keeping my hopes up) and saw that the current leading answer to "What would you most like to see?" is "Me get a boyfriend"!?!? I honestly thought I would be the only one to vote for that answer!

Awww. I'm feelin' the love, peeps. And I totes agree with your smart, savvy answer choice. ;)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Staxting (stalker texting)

Well, my friends... thank goodness for my rule about not deleting old phone numbers from your phone. Yesterday morning, I got a text around 7am. I was awake (but still in bed watching TV), so I picked up the phone to see who it was (since my parents are on vacation and I thought maybe they tried to reach us).

Ummmm... it was an "urgent" text message (who even knew you could DO that?) from The High School Stalker that I wrote about in this post. I have literally not seen him since last summer.

And, this was the "urgent" message: Ur still hot. I've wanted my date since I broke my neck! Remember me?

Let's interpret:
  • Do I remember you? My dad almost got a restraining order against you! But, in order to nip this thing in the bud and hope that I didn't hear any more from him, I simply responded, "Who is this?" (I think it worked... did not get a response.)

  • "My date"??? We NEVER talked about going on a date.

  • Broke your neck? I like how that was casually mentioned as though I already knew it. WTF?

In summary, a psycho guy from high school who told me he loved me on our first date (then proceeded to drop me off and bang some other chic at a party) urgent texted me at an ungodly hour yesterday morning for a date as he was laying in traction.

Man, my dating life is awesome.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Cashing out

Much like the stock market has done the past few days, The Banker has tanked. We were supposed to do something on Tuesday nite (we had decided that over the weekend), but didn't have specific plans. I finally got a text from him at almost 5pm on Tuesday saying that he just found out he had his kids that nite, and could we reschedule for Thursday instead.

A few things:
  • I don't think I've ever mentioned the fact that he has two kids before (ages 9 and 4). Truth is, I wasn't 100% sure how I felt about it, and I was trying to figure it out before sharing it with the world (and getting feedback/comments from all of you).

  • The text in no way was apologetic. Nothing like, "I am so sorry to do this, but can we reschedule? Blah blah blah." Nope. Just, "Hey, I have the kids tonite. Can we reschedule?"

  • The text arrived at NEARLY 5PM. I understand things coming up at the last minute, but I have GOT to believe he knew he was getting his kids sooner than that.

And you know what? I was sort of over it right then and there. I let him know very matter-of-factly (read: sort of bitchy) that I understood his responsibilities lie with his kids, but that he should have let me know way before 5pm that he needed to cancel. I don't think he liked that very much... have heard from him VERY little since then.

So, I think I might have cashed out on The Banker. Too much baggage. He got drunk both times I saw him in person. And I think he might actually be The Unemployed Banker right now based on a few Facebook wall posts I saw (which he never mentioned anything about to me). I have dated an unemployed guy before (who did not have two kids to boot), and I am not really interested in doing that again.

On another note, I have a date next Wednesday with The Lawyer that I met after my friend Molly's bachelorette party last weekend (the one whose card I had in my clutch, but wasn't sure who it was until I sober Facebooked him). He called yesterday, we chatted for about five minutes (while two guys in my office were borderline stalking me b/c we had to talk about a big work project), and we made plans to get together next week.

This lawyer is not to be confused with The Attorney (the guy who my father wants to fix me up with who my friends and I know through a six degrees connection). However, my dad did email me The Attorney's contact info before he and my mom left for their Mediterranean cruise. I'm sure he's hoping we'll be engaged by the time they come home.

So prepare yourselves, friends. I've got two potential lawyers/attorneys in the hopper... AND we'll be without comments from blogmom for 2.5 weeks! I'm not sure what's worse...

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Father knows best... maybe?

Oh, sweet Jesus and Mary. My dad called tonite to find out how he could get in on "the lottery" to fix me up (he meant the finders' fee, of course).

First of all, it is always weird to get a call from my dad, since my mom is usually the one who communicates info to my sisters and me. So when I see a missed call from him, it always immediately makes me cringe b/c my dad is usually the one charged with delivering bad news (e.g., if a relative passes away, if our mom has been rushed to the hospital for some crazy ailment, etc.).

So, I guess I was somewhat relieved to find out that dear ol' dad was just calling to pimp me out. I mean, find me a man.

Apparently he is scoping all over town for potential BFs for me. He called today with two guys in mind -- one, a doctor who he met thru his job; the other, the nephew of some guy he works with.

In true six degrees form, I'm pretty sure I know the nephew (who is an attorney, which my dad was very impressed by) from a guy my friends and I used to hang out with years ago. Blogdad and Blogmom have already checked him out online (all law firms list their attorneys online, which is pretty awesome for pre-date online stalking). And Blogdad was very impressed by the doc too (I'm sure blogmom is pissed she couldn't find him online too).

Side note: why do I find it so funny that my parents are Googling guys for me? I would pay to be a fly on the wall to hear the conversations that happen when they are sitting in front of the computer.

What concerns me is that I'm not 100% sure the guy that my dad would pick for me is the guy I would necessarily pick for myself. I think maybe dad is more focused on what the guy does for a living (of course! he wants someone to take to care of his little girl) than some of the prereqs I have (like whether the guy can make me laugh).

Anyhow, my favorite line of our conversation was when dad said, "And don't worry about the money for the finders' fee. Just put it toward your wedding."

Nothing like jumping ahead, oh, about 17 steps. How about we get a date on the calendar first?

Monday, October 6, 2008

Just another random Monday... whoooaaaa...

Wow, what a very random boy nite.

First, I talked to The Banker. That in and of itself wasn't weird. What WAS weird is that he was going out tonite with a guy that I randomly met a couple of years ago and went out with a few times. Turns out they're friends from growing up. More six degrees of separation!!! (Side note: I have a tentative date set with him tomorrow nite.)

Then I got some texts from The Cop (who I have not talked to nor texted since that random nite when I met him and he kept disappearing):

  • What up
  • U out?
  • [random picture of himself drinking a beer]
  • [same random picture of himself drinking a beer]

And to top off the randomness of tonite, I then got a text from The San Diego Marine (who I still contend is probably the hottest guy I have ever made out with -- sorry if that's TMI, blogmom).

Anyhow, he's on vacation with a friend (who I also met when I was in SD), and they were talking about me (interesting, considering I haven't emailed, talked or texted him in months) and he wanted to send me a text (and warn me to expect a drunk dial soon).

That marine. Mmmmm. He really is the kind of guy I want to find. In addition to being disgustingly hot, he's funny (in a goofy/silly kind of way), smart and sweet. He's lucky he doesn't live in Cleveland because I'm pretty sure I'd change up "Semper Fi" to something inappropriate like "Grab my thigh."

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Blackout bachelorette bash

Well, my blog friends, Molly's bachelorette bash was a success. The guest of honor had a great time, the food and drink was aplenty and, of course, there are crazy boy stories coming out the back end of the party.

Most notably, apparently I befriended The Chef (not to be confused with The Pocket-Sized Chef) at the restaurant we were at. I also *may* have told him that he should be my date for Molly's wedding (which was told to me this morning; I don't remember this conversation AT ALL).

What I do remember is going through my clutch this morning to find a handwritten piece of paper with all of The Chef's contact info on it, along with the business card of an attorney that I don't even remember meeting.

Note to self: find a new drink of choice. I always knew gin and tonics had the potential of making me mean, but now I know they also make me completely black out.

Anyhow, apparently after chatting with The Chef for some time, he gave me all of his contact info (perhaps b/c he thought we were going to the wedding together -- maybe we are?!?!?). And I logged onto Facebook today to find a friend request from him. I mean, I don't remember anything we talked about. Who knew I could still be charming when I am blackout drunk?

In other news, I did meet up with The Banker on Friday nite for a bit. Met him for a few drinks after he had a dinner party (which I later found out was for his cousin -- which meant his family was still at the restaurant when we met up).

We had fun and laughed a ton, though he did get pretty drunk by the end of the nite (then again, who am I to talk after my performance last nite?). I was slightly weirded out that he called me "babe" when he called to make sure I got home OK, but I'm going to chalk it up to the drinking.

Let's hope The Chef is as forgiving and realizes our talk about him being my wedding date should be chalked up to the Tanqueray. Regardless, rehearsal dinner is sure to bring some additional stories, since it's at the same restaurant we were at last nite.

The phrase of this weekend became "I didn't think this through" (courtesy of our friend, Michele). Man, truer words were never spoken.

P.S. Thanks for giving us an excuse to party, Molls. Hope you had a blast at your final fling before the ring!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Showers, bachelorette parties and bedazzlers -- oh my!

I've got a big bridesmaid duty weekend ahead of me. On Saturday, we're doubling our friend Molly's pleasure, with both her bridal shower and bachelorette party. It might sound crazy to cram so much into one day, but it's great for our out-of-town friends (a couple of whom are bridesmaids too) and it actually ends up being a really fun day totally devoted to the bride-to-be (we recently did the same thing for our friend Carrie too).

My duties for the shower are under control. I was in charge of the invitations, which I was mildly obsessed with. (Side note: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this site for super cute custom-printed invitations: And I'll handle the paper plate bow bouquet assignment at the shower (which I actually like to do anyhow). That means I'll also be sitting close enough to the guest of honor to tell her if she's taking too long to open presents. (Honesty disclaimer: it drives me nuts when brides open every single box to show what each plate, cup, towel, potholder, etc. look like.)

My duties for the bachelorette party? Hire the stripper, blow up the giant inflatable penises and bedazzle a Life Savers t-shirt that says, "Suck for a Buck." LOL. Just kidding. Unfortunately for you, the bride reads this blog religiously, so you'll have to wait until Monday for an update about what really went down (that's what she said).

OK, I'm off to wrap presents now for this weekend. (Prob won't have time tomorrow since I've got a mani right after work, then I'm supposed to meet The Banker at some point.)

P.S. This post serves as this week's "weekend preview," since I doubt I will be functional AT ALL on Sunday following Saturday's festivities. Which will be a very good thing.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

He popped up again! (You knew he would.)

I hadn't heard from The Groundhog for a couple of weeks, so I thought maybe he had disappeared into his hole again. Little did I know he was just out of town. And little did he know that while he was gone, I decided once and for all that he's just bad news.

Apparently, he can't take a hint. Case in point, he tried calling:

  • 9/29 - 9:47 pm

  • 9/28 - 2:04 pm

  • 9/26 - 1:41 pm

  • 9/25 - 8:09 pm

  • 9/24 - 9:35 pm

It's worth noting that I did not answer or return EVEN ONE of these calls or voicemails. There were a few texts sent during this time too, but I deleted them so I can't share them with my Internet friends (but I ignored those too).

But the topper was tonite's text: So what did I do to make you not want to talk anymore?

Well, for starters, you've cell-stalked me for the past week and couldn't even let a few days pass without calling again. For another, I'm onto you and your crazy dating/stalking habits. (You've now pulled "the pop up/fade out" maneuver on Molly, Jenn AND me, plus whatever other unwitting girls you've been talking to.)

Sorry, The Groundhog. Looks like you'll be seeing just your little lonely shadow this Fall.