Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
And, so as to not disappoint you, we did get one good boy incident out of the weekend.
(I'm not kidding when I say that Molly was on the hunt for a guy just so we could get a blog story out of it.)
We met up with Molly's future bro-in-law's wife's sister (is that confusing enough for you?), who is a super cute 26-year-old girl who lives in Naples. Naturally, we figured Paige would be able to show us a good time, and she did not disappoint.
She met us for a drink on Friday nite, learned about this blog and the finders' fee, then had a bunch of her friends meet up with us later in the nite. That's when I met The Florida Dancing Guy.
He and I actually didn't talk much at the first bar we were at (truth be told, I was convinced he was talking to a transvestite for most of the nite), but something bizarre happened at the second bar.
While "Barefoot Gino" played his one-man band at the back of the second bar (I can't make this stuff up), The Florida Dancing Guy grabbed me, said he loved to dance, told me how sexy I was and pulled me toward the dance floor.
He then proceeded to whip me around Dancing with the Stars style (side note: I am secretly obsessed with that show), accidentally elbow me in the mouth during one of his spin maneuvers, then end our routine with a full-on dip. The only thing missing were the sequins and judging cards.
We ended up hanging out the rest of the nite, he fed me every line in the book and tried his best to make a sleepover happen.
Much to his chagrin, the only person I shared a bed with during the trip was Molls. (Mostly because we only wanted to have one set of sheets to wash when we left, and we are both pretty much the most still/lifeless sleepers you have ever met so it wasn't a big deal to share a king-size bed.)
So while The Florida Dancing Guy probably didn't get what he wanted, Paige got a mention on the blog, I got a good workout on the dance floor and a whole host of folks in Naples now know about the finders' fee.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my dad was very excited to tell me about a church they visited in Italy devoted to St. Nicholas. While you may know St. Nicholas as our modern-day Santa Claus, he's also apparently the patron saint of single women. Who knew?
Dad informed me that there was a box in the church where single women could place the name of someone they hoped to land as their future husband. Of course, dear old dad wrote down something about me and put it in the box.
I'm imagining it went something like this:
Dear Saint Nicholas --
Please bring my daughter a Christmas present in the form of a tall, dark and handsome man. Who has a good job. And can finally take her off my hands.
Always a Bridesmaid's Dad
After I talked to my dad, I briefly chatted with my mom (poor thing -- she sounded exhausted!!) and she told me that they brought a little souvenir home for me. Wonder what his name is.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
- The Pocket-sized Chef - saw him at a happy hour event I was at with my sister and brother-in-law. He again pretended like we sort of knew each other, but he wasn't sure from where. I almost reminded him that it was from his incessant phone stalking of me after we first met, but I refrained. I also discovered that I think I may be the same height as him (and I am 5'2").
- The Mouse - got several random text messages from him on Friday nite after the Pocket-sized Chef happy hour run-in. He was out in my neighborhood and wanted to see if I was out (I was home and in my PJs already), then wanted me to give suggestions for places he should go. Our text exchange reminded me that I need to make plans to catch up with him sometime soon b/c we are equals in the smartass department, which I enjoy. (And for those of you who are freaking out reading that, I mean to catch up AS FRIENDS.)
- The Chef - as I mentioned in this post, ran into him at 806 in Tremont.
- The Lawyer - missed a call from him on Sunday evening when I was charging my cell phone (aka Goldie) in the other room. I really do like his voice on messages (this was the first time he left a message... all other times he didn't, which I called him out on during our date). I'll call him back on Monday (it was around 9:45 when I saw the message, and I thought that was too late to return the call).
- The New York Politico (nka The DC Grad Student) - haven't heard from him since the '60s. Then I got a random Facebook post that just said, "Hi cutie." And for some reason, that made me smile more than any of the other boy run-ins this weekend. Weird.
Should be interesting to see what the rest of this month has in store based on the random collection of messages/run-ins in this three-day span. Maybe this is the result of the vibe I was feeling on Saturday! (See this post.)
P.S. Prepare yourselves now, readers. I'm heading to Florida on Thursday for a few days with my GF Molly before she gets married next month (guess you could call it a "friendmoon") and I probably won't be blogging much (if at all). Here's hoping I have some weird run-in with an 80-year-old retiree to keep us ALL entertained next week. :)
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
But he's also married. Boo.
But I'll still always love him anyhow.
(Note to my readers: if you can get Mr. Lauer to leave that wife of his and move to Cleveland (he can bring the kids with him), the finders' fee will go up significantly. Just sayin'.)
- He is close with his family. He's even hosting Thanksgiving this year. (I offered to give him my recipe for artichoke dip... it's a huge family pleaser each holiday.) This is a huge plus for me.
- He has a good job. And he actually likes it.
- He wears a watch. This is not a superficial type of thing. It's a responsibility thing. I have found that guys who wear watches are responsible in other parts of their lives too. So that's why I always check.
- He's a gentleman. He paid for everything, walked me to my car, etc. You would think that's sort of a "duh" thing to expect, but not in this day and age.
- He likes queer music. Including Justin Timberlake. My friends and family will tell you that I am renown for liking teeny bopper crap, so I actually quite enjoyed this fact. (Though I was a little taken aback when he said his favorite artist is Prince.)
- I caught him staring at my (lack of) chest TWICE while in conversation. And this wasn't just a quick glimpse. It was a full-on not-making-eye-contact-with-me-for-at-least-five-seconds sort of stare. Seriously. Time five seconds. That is a really LONG time to not make eye contact with someone who is sitting directly next to you.
- Something about his hands was unnerving. And hands are important to me for whatever reason.
- He was not wearing an undershirt under his dress shirt. I can get over this, but it is something that my dad always said was important for a guy to do. Truth be told, I am so old school that I actually still wear slips sometimes (I swear, I am the only 32-year-old I know who does). But that's only when I'm not wearing Spanx. :)
- He owns leather pants (but apparently only wears them for Halloween now). But he actually used to wear them for real back about 8 or 10 years ago when he lived in New York working as a stockbroker. How very Seigfried & Roy of him.
Stay tuned. He asked for a second date when I was getting in my car (after he gave me a peck on the lips), then sent an email this morning referring to a joke we had made last nite. Hmmmm...
Monday, October 13, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
- Do I remember you? My dad almost got a restraining order against you! But, in order to nip this thing in the bud and hope that I didn't hear any more from him, I simply responded, "Who is this?" (I think it worked... did not get a response.)
- "My date"??? We NEVER talked about going on a date.
- Broke your neck? I like how that was casually mentioned as though I already knew it. WTF?
In summary, a psycho guy from high school who told me he loved me on our first date (then proceeded to drop me off and bang some other chic at a party) urgent texted me at an ungodly hour yesterday morning for a date as he was laying in traction.
Man, my dating life is awesome.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
- I don't think I've ever mentioned the fact that he has two kids before (ages 9 and 4). Truth is, I wasn't 100% sure how I felt about it, and I was trying to figure it out before sharing it with the world (and getting feedback/comments from all of you).
- The text in no way was apologetic. Nothing like, "I am so sorry to do this, but can we reschedule? Blah blah blah." Nope. Just, "Hey, I have the kids tonite. Can we reschedule?"
- The text arrived at NEARLY 5PM. I understand things coming up at the last minute, but I have GOT to believe he knew he was getting his kids sooner than that.
And you know what? I was sort of over it right then and there. I let him know very matter-of-factly (read: sort of bitchy) that I understood his responsibilities lie with his kids, but that he should have let me know way before 5pm that he needed to cancel. I don't think he liked that very much... have heard from him VERY little since then.
So, I think I might have cashed out on The Banker. Too much baggage. He got drunk both times I saw him in person. And I think he might actually be The Unemployed Banker right now based on a few Facebook wall posts I saw (which he never mentioned anything about to me). I have dated an unemployed guy before (who did not have two kids to boot), and I am not really interested in doing that again.
On another note, I have a date next Wednesday with The Lawyer that I met after my friend Molly's bachelorette party last weekend (the one whose card I had in my clutch, but wasn't sure who it was until I sober Facebooked him). He called yesterday, we chatted for about five minutes (while two guys in my office were borderline stalking me b/c we had to talk about a big work project), and we made plans to get together next week.
This lawyer is not to be confused with The Attorney (the guy who my father wants to fix me up with who my friends and I know through a six degrees connection). However, my dad did email me The Attorney's contact info before he and my mom left for their Mediterranean cruise. I'm sure he's hoping we'll be engaged by the time they come home.
So prepare yourselves, friends. I've got two potential lawyers/attorneys in the hopper... AND we'll be without comments from blogmom for 2.5 weeks! I'm not sure what's worse...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Oh, sweet Jesus and Mary. My dad called tonite to find out how he could get in on "the lottery" to fix me up (he meant the finders' fee, of course).
First of all, it is always weird to get a call from my dad, since my mom is usually the one who communicates info to my sisters and me. So when I see a missed call from him, it always immediately makes me cringe b/c my dad is usually the one charged with delivering bad news (e.g., if a relative passes away, if our mom has been rushed to the hospital for some crazy ailment, etc.).
So, I guess I was somewhat relieved to find out that dear ol' dad was just calling to pimp me out. I mean, find me a man.
Apparently he is scoping all over town for potential BFs for me. He called today with two guys in mind -- one, a doctor who he met thru his job; the other, the nephew of some guy he works with.
In true six degrees form, I'm pretty sure I know the nephew (who is an attorney, which my dad was very impressed by) from a guy my friends and I used to hang out with years ago. Blogdad and Blogmom have already checked him out online (all law firms list their attorneys online, which is pretty awesome for pre-date online stalking). And Blogdad was very impressed by the doc too (I'm sure blogmom is pissed she couldn't find him online too).
Side note: why do I find it so funny that my parents are Googling guys for me? I would pay to be a fly on the wall to hear the conversations that happen when they are sitting in front of the computer.
What concerns me is that I'm not 100% sure the guy that my dad would pick for me is the guy I would necessarily pick for myself. I think maybe dad is more focused on what the guy does for a living (of course! he wants someone to take to care of his little girl) than some of the prereqs I have (like whether the guy can make me laugh).
Anyhow, my favorite line of our conversation was when dad said, "And don't worry about the money for the finders' fee. Just put it toward your wedding."Nothing like jumping ahead, oh, about 17 steps. How about we get a date on the calendar first?
Monday, October 6, 2008
First, I talked to The Banker. That in and of itself wasn't weird. What WAS weird is that he was going out tonite with a guy that I randomly met a couple of years ago and went out with a few times. Turns out they're friends from growing up. More six degrees of separation!!! (Side note: I have a tentative date set with him tomorrow nite.)
Then I got some texts from The Cop (who I have not talked to nor texted since that random nite when I met him and he kept disappearing):
- What up
- U out?
- [random picture of himself drinking a beer]
- [same random picture of himself drinking a beer]
And to top off the randomness of tonite, I then got a text from The San Diego Marine (who I still contend is probably the hottest guy I have ever made out with -- sorry if that's TMI, blogmom).
Anyhow, he's on vacation with a friend (who I also met when I was in SD), and they were talking about me (interesting, considering I haven't emailed, talked or texted him in months) and he wanted to send me a text (and warn me to expect a drunk dial soon).
That marine. Mmmmm. He really is the kind of guy I want to find. In addition to being disgustingly hot, he's funny (in a goofy/silly kind of way), smart and sweet. He's lucky he doesn't live in Cleveland because I'm pretty sure I'd change up "Semper Fi" to something inappropriate like "Grab my thigh."
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Most notably, apparently I befriended The Chef (not to be confused with The Pocket-Sized Chef) at the restaurant we were at. I also *may* have told him that he should be my date for Molly's wedding (which was told to me this morning; I don't remember this conversation AT ALL).
What I do remember is going through my clutch this morning to find a handwritten piece of paper with all of The Chef's contact info on it, along with the business card of an attorney that I don't even remember meeting.
Note to self: find a new drink of choice. I always knew gin and tonics had the potential of making me mean, but now I know they also make me completely black out.
Anyhow, apparently after chatting with The Chef for some time, he gave me all of his contact info (perhaps b/c he thought we were going to the wedding together -- maybe we are?!?!?). And I logged onto Facebook today to find a friend request from him. I mean, I don't remember anything we talked about. Who knew I could still be charming when I am blackout drunk?
In other news, I did meet up with The Banker on Friday nite for a bit. Met him for a few drinks after he had a dinner party (which I later found out was for his cousin -- which meant his family was still at the restaurant when we met up).
We had fun and laughed a ton, though he did get pretty drunk by the end of the nite (then again, who am I to talk after my performance last nite?). I was slightly weirded out that he called me "babe" when he called to make sure I got home OK, but I'm going to chalk it up to the drinking.
Let's hope The Chef is as forgiving and realizes our talk about him being my wedding date should be chalked up to the Tanqueray. Regardless, rehearsal dinner is sure to bring some additional stories, since it's at the same restaurant we were at last nite.
The phrase of this weekend became "I didn't think this through" (courtesy of our friend, Michele). Man, truer words were never spoken.
P.S. Thanks for giving us an excuse to party, Molls. Hope you had a blast at your final fling before the ring!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
My duties for the shower are under control. I was in charge of the invitations, which I was mildly obsessed with. (Side note: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this site for super cute custom-printed invitations: http://www.polkadotdesign.com/). And I'll handle the paper plate bow bouquet assignment at the shower (which I actually like to do anyhow). That means I'll also be sitting close enough to the guest of honor to tell her if she's taking too long to open presents. (Honesty disclaimer: it drives me nuts when brides open every single box to show what each plate, cup, towel, potholder, etc. look like.)
My duties for the bachelorette party? Hire the stripper, blow up the giant inflatable penises and bedazzle a Life Savers t-shirt that says, "Suck for a Buck." LOL. Just kidding. Unfortunately for you, the bride reads this blog religiously, so you'll have to wait until Monday for an update about what really went down (that's what she said).
OK, I'm off to wrap presents now for this weekend. (Prob won't have time tomorrow since I've got a mani right after work, then I'm supposed to meet The Banker at some point.)
P.S. This post serves as this week's "weekend preview," since I doubt I will be functional AT ALL on Sunday following Saturday's festivities. Which will be a very good thing.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I hadn't heard from The Groundhog for a couple of weeks, so I thought maybe he had disappeared into his hole again. Little did I know he was just out of town. And little did he know that while he was gone, I decided once and for all that he's just bad news.
Apparently, he can't take a hint. Case in point, he tried calling:
- 9/29 - 9:47 pm
- 9/28 - 2:04 pm
- 9/26 - 1:41 pm
- 9/25 - 8:09 pm
- 9/24 - 9:35 pm
It's worth noting that I did not answer or return EVEN ONE of these calls or voicemails. There were a few texts sent during this time too, but I deleted them so I can't share them with my Internet friends (but I ignored those too).
But the topper was tonite's text: So what did I do to make you not want to talk anymore?
Well, for starters, you've cell-stalked me for the past week and couldn't even let a few days pass without calling again. For another, I'm onto you and your crazy dating/stalking habits. (You've now pulled "the pop up/fade out" maneuver on Molly, Jenn AND me, plus whatever other unwitting girls you've been talking to.)
Sorry, The Groundhog. Looks like you'll be seeing just your little lonely shadow this Fall.