Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
So there's been something I haven't been telling you guys about my dating life. I decided in early January that there might be some life left in some of the random dates I had over the summer and fall, so I decided that I needed to force myself to reconnect with some of those guys JIC. (Just in case.)
But now I feel like I should come clean because I actually (sort of) have a conversation going with one of them. (I was reluctant to blast this across the blogosphere in case none of them went anywhere.) But let's not get too excited here, peeps. Because I'm still not sure where this one is headed.
The Insurance Guy was the first boy who popped into my head when I made this pact with myself. (Click on The Insurance Guy tag on this post if you want to read all of the previous entries about him.) If you remember, my high school friend had introduced us over the summer, and he and I went on a couple of dates (and he also met my friend and me out for drinks once.) He is very cute, smart, professionally successful and funny. (He also wears a watch and has clean fingernails.) A perfect AAB match.
Well, an almost perfect match.
What held me back over the summer was that he was in the middle of a divorce when we met, and I just wasn't sure I was ready to go there again after The Divorcee. (He also has a son, but that honestly didn't bother me at all. Especially since one of my "musts" is someone who is family oriented.) I was also willing to admit that maybe he just wasn't that into me (the horror!) either. But I figured I should at least give it a shot to see what might happen.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago.
While commenting on a friend's Facebook status (not the friend who fixed us up), I saw The Insurance Guy's name pop up as a mutual FB friend. Whoa. It was like karma! So I took a deep breath, hoped I wasn't making a huge ass out of myself and sent him a little FB message to say hi. I did not, however, friend him. Just sent him a little note.
A few hours later, I got a friend request from him.
Since then, we have exchanged a few messages, including one where he told me to pop in next time I'm in the neighborhood (his office is in the same building as one of the boards that I'm on). A little harmless FB conversation, if you will.
It's been a little weird in that I feel like I had been the one initiating most of the conversation (or, to be more accurate, e-versations). But that's what this whole little mission to myself was all about, right?
And I know you're thinking... AAB, you're the first one to tell a guy to call and not use gadgets to connect with love interests. And you're right. But I didn't want to call because I was still trying to feel out whether he's dating someone (which I still don't know). So I've been playing it low-key (while admittedly semi-stalking his FB page to get clues about whether he's single).
(BTW, his divorce is now over. Final court date? My birthday. Weird.)
Anyhow... late last nite, I got a FB message from him. An original one. Not a reply to something I had written. He was just writing to say hi, ask about my high school friend who initially fixed us up and tell me to let him know when she and I are going out again so he could meet us for a drink.
So now I don't know what to think. On one hand, it sounds like he just wants a very casual meet-up with me and my friend (maybe more to see her than me!). On the other, he did initiate this message and suggested getting together (albeit with another person).
What would you have done?
Well, I'll tell you what I did. With my new-found balls and promise to myself to pursue any guy that might have been a good match for me, I wrote back. And I told him that I'd let him know when my friend and I got together again. But that I wouldn't be against grabbing a drink in the meantime (without her).
As I wait for his response... is there anyone else that you think I should maybe try to reconnect with? (He's been the only one so far.) Leave a comment or send me an email.
But for the love of all things holy... don't even think about suggesting The Gyno Guy.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I shared this story with our heroine, AAB, and she asked me to submit a guest blog to share this disaster with her readers. As you read this, think about how you would have handled what happened. I would love to know!
I met The Contractor on Halloween. I literally spotted him when he walked in the door of the bar and our eyes met across the room. I kid you not. He was not my normal type (more Bradley Cooper than Gael García Bernal.) He bee lined towards me and introduced himself. And although he no longer lived in the area, he was charming, good looking, successful (owned his own business – which brought him to town for an extended work trip) and most important – no ring!
In an effort to snap our photo after we met, he “accidentally” dumped his beer down my dress. “Let’s get on the dance floor and dry you off,” was his response. Had he not been so cute I would have scoffed. But dance I did and we exchanged numbers and went out the next night. (How about THAT pick up line, btw?)
Early on I had asked him if he had a girlfriend back home. “Not right now,” was his answer.
Upon learning his age (40) I was curious if he had been married. “Yes, is that a problem?” No, I assured him, it certainly was not – so long as he was not STILL married, I joked. But I did not have a good feeling about and I should know my gut is usually right. Probably because I knew he was away from home, I had no one to give me a background check on him (like a friend of a friend that might know him) and he rarely called me – mostly texted.
The clincher was when he went away to his parents in FLA over Thanksgiving and I received no calls from him for over a week. When he returned I asked him again about his marital status. He remained very adamant about his current singlehood. “My marriage is over. I am sorry you have been worried about it, but it is.”
We continued to date between Halloween and Christmas when his job here wrapped and he moved back to his home down south. Since the new year I have heard from a couple of times – offering to come make me chicken soup when I was sick (it is easy to offer when you have no intention of following through!) and inquiring after me when he heard about my company’s big layoff announcement.
Really, I have not been putting much stock in it – just thinking it might be nice to keep in touch for a future hook up. On a recent call he informed me he might be coming back to town for another job but may have to “sneak away” for a visit sooner. (Hmmm… interesting choice of word – sneak?)
(AAB sidenote: this is where it gets REALLY good.)
Fast forward to last week. As I am upstairs getting ready for work, I miss a call that goes to voicemail. When I later check it I see I have a missed call and (bonus!) a voicemail from The Contractor!
And readers, this is where I think my guardian angel was watching out for me. He was not calling to check in or chat or even tell me he was coming for a visit. He pocket dialed me with his iPhone. And the message he left is basically a recording of a conversation he is having with what sounds like his FAMILY as they get ready for their day.
There is a whole cast of characters – including a baby (he sounded so happy and cute… awww) and a girl, whom he refers to by the name I had thought was his ex’s name. She is saying she is excited for her birthday dinner he is taking her to that evening. Suddenly, the call signs off.
Now, I am pissed. Not just because it looks like the guy has been lying to me (and is a cheat, but that is his wife’s issue) but he really must have thought so little of me that he thought he could get away with it!
So, after deliberating (and checking in with AAB for some advice) I FORWARD the voicemail back to him, hoping he gets the point. Unfortunately, cell phone technology isn’t that advanced and I receive a voicemail the next day saying, “Your message to the following number was not delivered.”
Darn! Now, what would you have done? Should I have sent him an angry text? What if it really wasn’t his wife (but my gut is telling me it was someone of importance. Plus the gurgling baby?). Needless to say, I have not heard from him since – which is really quite a relief. I am hoping he is embarrassed and only glad this did not get to the point where he would have to reveal anything or experience messy confrontation.
My lesson learned? If I do not meet the guy through someone I know, I am asking for a copy of his divorce records – if he claims he is!
See? I told you it was a good story. I think Liberty Belle has the makings of a great full-time blogger, no? So... what would you have done if you were her?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
- Blogdad called to tell me that The Divorcee is single again. How does he know, you ask? Well, because one of blogdad's colleagues happened to be recently dating The Divorcee. (Six degrees, I tell you!!!! Now you HAVE to believe me!) My parents discovered this when they ran into this girl and The Divorcee at The Feast in Little Italy over the summer. Anyhow, blogdad called to tell me this little tidbit because he thought my birthday horoscope said something about someone from my past coming back. (In fact, it said that someone important to my life's history will be entering my life in the near future. Which I suppose could be one in the same. God, I hope that doesn't mean some gross guy might come back though.) But that's all just a long way of saying... reminder number one.
- While I was at the nail salon on Saturday, I got a picture text from one of my friends at work that said, "Is this ur ex?" And, indeed, it was. She snapped his pic from afar at Starbucks. (She's actually never met him, but saw a pic once after I was forced to defend the caliber of guys I date because another girl in our office had made a snide comment about my BFs -- whom she had never seen, BTW. Anyhow, seriously... I have dated some cute guys. The Divorcee is a cross between McSteamy and Leonardo DiCaprio. Yum.) Anyhow, I digress. Reminder number two. (And a really random one at that, no?)
- On Sunday, I discovered that The Divorcee has just joined Facebook. How do I know? Two of his friends had previously FB friended me after the break-up (emphasis that THEY friended ME, which I was totally cool with because I actually really liked them and hoped we could somehow stay in touch after the break-up). Anyhow, one of the said friends commented on one of The Divorcees' pics on Sunday. That comment/pic showed up in my news feed. Reminder three.
UGH. I can't shake this guy. And I really can't explain it. I know I should hate him for breaking my heart, but I just can't. Eff. What's also really weird is the timing of all of this. We broke up (for good, after a couple of starts and stops due to his unresolved feelings about his divorce) the week before Valentine's Day a couple of years ago. This same exact week two years ago. (Guess that makes reminder number four, huh?)
Does anyone else have that one guy they can't seem to shake? Or did you, but you got over it? If so, HELP!?!?!?!?
Monday, February 9, 2009
As a user of Match.com, I sometimes receive a newsletter with dating tips and tricks. Their latest one is entitled “10 Things Every Single Guy Must Own.” Now, I’m thinking this article would go through a few basic items just to keep guys on track. Some of these suggestions are that, but I found others truly bizarre and hilarious and I’m wondering if all you ladies out there agree.
To start off with, the No. 1 item on the list is “A top-notch coffee/espresso maker.” Apparently, girls aren’t happy with a guy making them coffee in an ordinary coffee maker on the morning after, well, you know. No, Match.com says, the guy better own something capable of making a latte or a cappuccino if he wants to keep her around. They suggest purchasing the $230 Delonghi “Caffe Figaro” Coffee/Espresso Machine plus a $20 coffee grinder in order to truly make her feel like a princess. Seriously, ladies? Is this what it takes to satisfy your caffeine fix?
No. 2 on the list is a lamp in your bedroom other than the one on the ceiling. That’s pretty basic. Check.
No. 3 is Swiffer products if you have hard wood floors. Are you kidding me? I swear by this stuff. Check.
No. 4 is a comfortable couch, and skip the cliché black leather in favor of something more safe colorwise, something more neutral or earth-toney, and then jazzed up with interesting throw pillows. That’s sensible advice. I know many a guy who has bought the black leather couch when single and then is somehow surprised that it is the first thing either in the basement or at the curb when a girl moves in with him. Okay, I have no problem with this. Check.
No. 5 is a subject about which AAB had a poll going on recently. Underwear. Match.com is telling guys to ditch the tightey-whiteys in favor of boxers or boxer briefs. Anything that looks like a girl should wear it (bikini briefs for guys? Seriously?) or has cartoon characters on it is likely to send her running for the exits. And, they recommend throwing out old underwear, lest you be tempted to wear it when your clean underwear supply is running low, because you never know when, ahem, a target-rich environment will lead to you reeling in a great catch.
No. 6? Every single guy should have a Swiss army knife key chain. Not even joking. Is that what I’ve been doing wrong all these years? I needed the Swiss army knife key chain? Damn. If I’d only known it was that easy. Match says that when your date’s sunglasses come apart while dining al fresco, you’ll win over her heart by whipping out your keychain with its little tiny screwdriver to fix them. Seriously?
No. 7 is scarcely better. Every single guy should own a pair of designer jeans costing at least $150. Now, I don’t like cheap clothes. I prefer name-brand stuff, like Nautica or Polo just because it holds up better while looking nicer, and is generally comfier too in my opinion. And yet, despite my preference for name brand clothes, I can’t imagine spending $150 on a pair of jeans. Is Diesel or Seven really that much better? C’mon. I’m not buying this one.
No. 8 is even higher on the price target list. Every single guy should own one pair of shoes costing at least $200, Match says. Now, I knew girls really, really liked shoes, just because I helped my younger sister move her monstrous shoe collection a couple of times. But man, if only I’d know that girls were turning up their nose at me because my favorite Sandro Moscoloni Italian loafers cost a mere $99, then I would have been coupled up long ago! Right? Not really buying this one either.
No. 9 is a little more common sense. It stands to reason, Match.com says, that you and your date will be spending some quality time in your bed. So you might as well invest in some good Egyptian cotton sheets, 300 thread count or better. Okay. Sounds reasonable. Check.
Last but not least? Every single guy should own a copy of The Joy of Cooking. The 75th anniversary edition goes for $23.10 on Amazon.com. Apparently, Match.com says, the way to a woman’s heart also runs through her stomach, and there’s nothing like being able to fix Chicken Kiev to make her swoon.
Okay ladies, I’m eager to hear which ones of these you think are on target and which are stronzata. Barring another birthday or technical meltdown, I’ll be back next week.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
- My sissies and I agree that we love Bradley Cooper. He is dreamy. So cute. I definitely wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers. Do you think he might have a Cleveland twin?
- We all also have crushes on Ginnifer Goodwin. Adorable. She has the face of a kewpie doll and the cutest hair ever in this movie.
- Speaking of hair... Justin Long needs a haircut. Eeew.
- My life definitely most closely resembles Jennifer Aniston's character in this movie. Sometimes it was spooky how similarly things played out. (Also spooky? Robert Plant just used the word "spooky" in his Grammy acceptance speech while I was typing "spooky." You know what that is? SPOOKY.)
- That said, whether we like to admit it or not, I think all of us ladies have a little bit of every girl in this movie in us when we're on the dating scene. The wondering why he didn't call. The wondering why he won't commit. The wondering if we can change him. The wondering why our hair doesn't look like Jennifer Aniston's. (Wait, maybe that one's just me. But probably not.)
Also, the six degrees phenomena that happens in my life apparently extends to my sisters too. We saw several peeps we knew in the short amount of time we were in the theater. In the lobby (while purchasing $4.50 sodas -- thanks, Regal Cinemas, for being sensitive to the economic crisis), we ran into Simply Married's hubs (she was already in the theater) and a co-worker of my sister's. Inside, we sat in front of another friend's brother and his GF. And we just missed Alexa by a hair too (she went to the 3pm show; we caught the 4pm one).
Overall, the sissy outing itself was better than the movie. The verdicts on HJNTIY?
- Sissy one -- 2.5 stars out of 4
- Sissy two -- 1.8 stars out of 4
- me -- 3 stars out of 4 (maybe because I could most readily relate to most of the characters since I'm still discovering that most boys are just not that into me?!?)
(We did, however, all agree that the potstickers at Cheesecake Factory were 3.5 out of 4.)
The only problem with going to see a movie like this is that there is basically zero chance that there are any single cuties that *might* sit next to you. If a guy is at that movie, he is either most definitely with a girl... or most definitely not into them.
P.S. If you're looking for a time waster, check out the HJNTIY official movie site. The date decoder is fun. So is the quiz. And so are the pics of my little Bradley Cooper.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
For those of you who aren't familiar with the Love Calculator, it's an online tool to help you determine whether your relationship has potential based on the names of the people in the relationship. Like Sonny + Cher. Or Brad + Angelina. Or Bert + Ernie. (I still contend those puppets were more than roommates, if you know what I mean.)
Anyhow, being the sucker that I am for anything that might possibly give me direction in the love department, I obviously tried it out. Here's the fun part. I used both *real* names (self-explanatory), as well as *blog* names (e.g., Always a Bridesmaid + The Murse), to see what would happen.
Let's take a gander at how the calculations worked out for what I would consider my three "real" boyfriends.
THE MUSH MOUTH
Real names: 99%. Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between [immature boy] and [amazing girl] has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn't mean that you don't have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc.
Blog names: 71%. Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between The Mush Mouth and Always a Bridesmaid has a reasonable chance of working out, but on the other hand, it might not. Your relationship may suffer good and bad times. If things might not be working out as you would like them to, do not hesitate to talk about it with the person involved. Spend time together, talk with each other.
Really, Dr. Love? I find it amusing that both of these predictions involve talking to each other, considering the kid has the blog name The Mush Mouth because he mumbled and swallowed every word he ever said. And I would have expected a much better prediction for a 99% love match.
Real names: 55%. Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between [noncommittal guy who may or may not have been gay] and [too good for him anyway girl] has a reasonable chance of working out, but on the other hand, it might not. Your relationship may suffer good and bad times. If things might not be working out as you would like them to, do not hesitate to talk about it with the person involved. Spend time together, talk with each other.
Blog names: 53%. Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between The Murse and Always a Bridesmaid has a reasonable chance of working out, but on the other hand, it might not. Your relationship may suffer good and bad times. If things might not be working out as you would like them to, do not hesitate to talk about it with the person involved. Spend time together, talk with each other.
WTF, Dr. Love? Do you only have like three different predictions to spew out of that love-predicto-meter of yours? Same one three times in a row? At least you're consistent on this one, though.
Real names: 64%. Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between [guy who wasn't ready for a relationship] and [girl with bad timing] has a reasonable chance of working out, but on the other hand, it might not. Your relationship may suffer good and bad times. If things might not be working out as you would like them to, do not hesitate to talk about it with the person involved. Spend time together, talk with each other.
Blog names: 75%. Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between The Divorcee and Always a Bridesmaid has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn't mean that you don't have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc.
Ummm... the same two predictions AGAIN?!?! I give up. And think I might have to change my name in order to get better love prospects.
Did you try out the Love Calculator with your hubs, BF or crush? What was your score? And did you get any predictions other than the ones that kept popping up for me?
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Speaking of The Murse... as you may recall, he and I dated for six years and broke up about three years ago. Since then, we have seen each other a couple of times (most recently at a wedding over the summer, where we chatted for a few minutes during a gin-fueled conversation that I can not recall). Each year, we also send the obligatory birthday email greetings to each other.
This year was no different.
Always a Bridesmaid,
I wanted to wish you happy birthday - I hope things are going well at work, home and with the family.
While I appreciate the gesture... why even bother? I mean, at least prior years' messages had a little something more to them. The most I got out of this one was that he knew what the date was.
Am I just being mean? I know that it's very nice that he even thought to wish me a happy birthday. It just seems a little... well... forced.
And this is TOTES not my style (e.g., last year I cracked on him for being officially closer to 40 than 30... you know, a little humor to an otherwise completely awkward email). So do I reply (in May) with a just-as-lame email to him, or should I just let these silly birthday greetings fade away? Or should I just be myself and send a sarcastic bday greeting? Something like this:
I'm torn. (And also a little creeped out by how much this card looks like The Murse.)
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I love everything I got (including the two cans of Pringles from blogparents -- which were also tucked in a bag with a gorge garnet/diamond ring... my birthstone) and am so thankful for everyone's thoughtful gifts. (Blogaunt even put together an "I read your blog so I know what you need" kit -- including a g.c. so I can go buy some new undies.) What am I MOST excited to try, though?
This, from sissies:
Why? Because, without it, my hair would literally look like this:
It's one thing to have Tina Turner's legs. It's another to have her hair.
Also... for all of you who have been complaining that the blog has been devoid of good boy stories this year, stay tuned. Had a couple of convos this weekend with people who have potential finders' fee material (read: boys) in the wings.
Which means that maybe my "if your birthday is today" horoscope (which was tucked into one of my bday cards) will come true: If you are single, you enter a new phase in your dating life. Someone quite substantial to your life's history will appear in the near future.
Fun! Thanks again, everyone!