Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I've written here before about how blogmom is like a Cyber McGyver. Well, apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
After telling my sissies about a boy who I was chatting with following the Browns' victory last week (shocking!), my middle sis was obsessed with finding out more about him.
(BTW, when I said "shocking," I was referring to both the Browns' win as well as the fact that a cute boy would actually talk to me while I was so bundled up for the game that I looked like the stay-puff marshmallow man.)
Anyhow, the only things I knew about him were:
- his first name
- what he did for a living (vaguely)
- that he was a good kisser (OK, so *maybe* I smooched him a little to celebrate the win -- so sue me!)
But, literally. That was ALL I KNEW. But within five minutes of cyberstalking (as I was in the other room holding my sweet little nugget nephew and watching The Sing Off), my sis had found him online. (And not by Googling "random boy who smooched my sis after the Browns game.")
I think sissy might really have a potential career in pre-screening guys for single girls. (Myself included.) Within mere minutes, she found:
- his last name
- where he works (which is when she said the quote that appears as the title of this post and told me he was gonna make a lot of money someday)
- pictures of him (to which she suggested he might want to consider teeth whitening and never growing a beard again)
- his profiles on social networks
- several articles he was featured in
I couldn't help but giggle at her research prowess. I mean, seriously. She only had his first name (which is very common) and a general idea of what he did for a living (which is admittedly less common -- but still) to go on. And she was soooooooooo excited when she found him.
(In fact, she was so excited that I didn't have the heart to tell her right away that I had his phone number and that we'd actually already talked.)
So it appears that sissy may have a potential new career... and that I may have a potential new target for Holidating!
P.S. Don't worry, blogdad. The Browns were the only ones who scored that nite. ;)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Remember when I broke up with my hairdresser several months ago?
I had another breakup this weekend. But this time I was the dumpee.
My manicurist left me. For that "other woman" known as college.
When we were saying goodbye, Anth gave me a big bear hug and said he'd miss me and would let me know when he's back in town. And I almost started crying.
(And it wasn't just because my jeans are all currently so tight that they're literally making me want to cry.)
In retrospect, I think the welling up was because Anthony has been the most consistent man in my life for the past several years.
(Is that sad or sweet? I still haven't decided.)
Every week when I'd see Anthony, he was excited to see me. He'd call me pet names. Tell me how pretty I looked. Compliment a new sweater. Ask about my family and friends. Write "I heart U” in lotion.
(And, no, I did not pay extra for that.)
But now he's gone. So I'm hoping the cosmos decides to do its thing and replace the one consistent guy in my life with another (but this time, one in the form of a boyfriend).
Are you listening, cosmos? I need a new guy in my life. Cuz mama's got really pretty hands just waiting to show off a ring someday soon.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
(Living up to his name as Hottest Guy Ever, BTW.)
This whole six degrees thing is just getting a little ridic now, no? Is the universe trying to send me a message?
(I sure hope it's something like, "AAB, there's a hottie in your future!")
P.S. As it turns out, I knew one of the girls who was lunching with HGE. She called me this morning to find out if I knew what his story was because she and her friend couldn't figure out if he liked boys or girls. See?!?! It's not just me.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
- A guy I went on one date with (I actually wrote about him here)
- A guy who was in the Sexy Singles article in Cleveland Magazine with me (of course, he's now married and I'm still a questionably sexy single)
- My boss' son (nothing romantic there -- just thought it was weird to see him)
I'm really starting to think I am like two or three degrees away from every person in Cleveland. Which I suppose also means I *may* be only two or three degrees away from all of the cute, eligible, single guys in Cleveland too.
Which also means that YOU probably know one of them. Ahem. What are you waiting for? Wouldn't a little finders' fee help with your holiday shopping right about now? Just sayin'.
I mean, it is time for some Holidating. (P.S. Thanks to everyone who contributed suggestions and/or voted to name this month's dating adventures!) Dontcha wanna put a little something under my tree?
Friday, December 4, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
- There's no pressure to find that perfect gift for my special someone. In the past, I would spend weeks (sometimes months) searching for juuuuuust the right present for my BF, only to be disappointed with an effing gift card for a day spa or -- even worse -- the free wallet that came with the purse that he bought for his mother. (Actually happened.)
- There's no need to worry about those extra lbs. I've already packed on from all the holiday goodies around my office, since my cats and relatives don't mind if I'm a little doughy right now (but a BF probably would).
- I don't have to hear, "Sooooooo... do you think you'll be getting a little box under the tree this year?" from EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. I. KNOW.
- There's no obligation to bust out horrific memories of holidays past. One year for Christmas, I got an effing Precious Moments necklace from The Mush Mouth. I lovingly referred to it as "The Medallion." It was a sterling silver heart -- yes, HEART -- with two little Precious Moments figures facing each other inside of it. It was literally the size of a hood ornament. And it was heinous. (In this case, I would have welcomed a gift card.) I felt obligated to pull it out each Christmas (though I never actually wore it), but after we broke up, I used to take it out with me to the bar and use it on my beer bottles like one of those little wine charms. Except it wasn't so little.
- I can decide where I want to go, and when. I don't have to split holidays between families, or traipse around all over Northeast Ohio without sitting down in one place for more than a couple of hours. Which means I can plant my (now pleasantly plump) ass down at my parents' house and get hammered. I mean, "holiday toasty."
- There's also no pressure to buy thoughtful presents for the BF's family. I mean, I don't think I could have found another bird broach for The Murse's grandma if I tried. I must have bought out the entire stock at Macy's every year.
- And let's not talk about the pressure to fake liking the presents that you got from his family. I mean, who doesn't need a holiday sweatshirt -- complete with puffy paint -- to round out her wardrobe? (I wish I were kidding. Actual Christmas present. Though still not as bad as the free wallet.)
- If you're only kinda sorta and/or newly dating someone (and not in a long-term relationship), there's also no pressure to have that awkward, "Are we exchanging gifts?" or "What's our spending limit?" conversation. Ugh. Those are so awwwww-kward!
- I don't have to stress about how/if he fits into my family's gatherings. Let's be honest: blogfamily can be a bit overwhelming at times. Between blogdad telling dirty jokes, blogmom having minor meltdowns if something goes wrong in the kitchen, fights with sissies over board games and Brissy yelling, "Merry Jizzmas!!" every two seconds, it takes a special kinda guy to feel comfortable around the AAB clan.