Mail for a male?

I got a creepy letter in the mail today. It was addressed to me with no return address, and I did not recognize the handwriting. It was eerily lightweight (like there might not even be anything inside). After doing some inspecting to see if there was any sort of white powdery substance sneaking out from the crevices, I decided to press my luck and open the envelope.

Inside, I found a small piece of paper with a photocopied "Prayer to Find a Soulmate."

Whoa, God. Am I in that much trouble that you are actually sending me a hard copy prayer to help me find me a man? I thought you could just blink your eyes or wave your arms or something to make that happen. My love life must be in worse shape than I thought.

Later, while checking emails (I was in a meeting all day and had lots of catching up to do), I saw an email from blogaunt warning me that a family friend had copied and sent a prayer to me, and blogaunt didn't want me to get "spooked" when I got the letter with no return address.

Um, too late, blogaunt. I had already thought it was a letter from God! Some mail for a male! And Holy Mail (or is it Holy Male?!?!?) at that!

Regardless, I already said the prayer once and plan to do it several times a week. Hey, it can't hurt, right?

In the meantime, maybe God will send me a pair of shoes from Nordstrom tomorrow.