Sunday, January 25, 2009

Public service announcement to men: do NOT use these lines

Someone forwarded me this hilarious article called "10 Cute Pickup Lines that Will Make Her Laugh." Well, the article made me laugh alright. At the idea that some poor unassuming guy could actually think these lines might help them with the ladies.


Let's take a gander at the author's suggested pick-up lines. I've bolded the particularly offensive ones:

  • Your shoe is untied. Can I tie it for you?

  • Have you ever had a guy follow you across the street (or into a coffeehouse, onto the Metro) because he liked your smile?

  • Say...didn't we go to different schools at the same time?

  • Do you have a quarter? I want to call your parents and thank them.

  • My name is Elmo. You can tickle me anytime.

  • You're someone I could really blog about!

  • Were we lovers in a past life?

  • Did you drop this? (Hold out a dollar or a pen.)

  • I've heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?

  • The body is made up of 90% water and I'm thirsty.

Ahem. See? I told you. HORRIBLE.

But the author isn't entirely wrong or misleading with the title of this article. If a guy used any of these lines on me, I would laugh. In his face.

What's the worst pick-up line you've ever heard?


Anonymous said...

AAB, you could totally use "You're someone I could really blog about" in pretty much any given guy example -- good, bad, ugly, you name it.

Anonymous said...

"If I asked you for sex would the answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

It took me a moment to figure it out...

(I have been reading your blog through a friend of a friend's blog, but its my first post... thanks for letting me read!)

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Jane Doe - LOL. I actually totally thought the same thing when I read that one.

Smash - Wait, what? So the guy wanted you to answer "yes," right? That is one complicated pick-up line. Thanks for reading. (And commenting!)

rosemarie said...

"You have a nice forehead. Mind if I call you forehead sometime?" Or for head.

That would be the worst one I ever heard and it takes a while to figure it out when you hear it!

I love your blog! I have been in 8 weddings since college and I feel your pain!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

OMG, Rosemarie. I literally laughed out loud at that one. What goes through a guy's mind before he says something like that? (Obviously, nothing.)

Chill said...

When I used to bartend, I literally had a guy ask me for MY driver's license. Naturally I was a little surprised, since I'm the one who's supposed to be asking for ID. So of course I asked him "Why do you need my driver's license?" His response: "So I know where to pick you up for our first date." It was original. I'll give him that.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Carrie - I actually like that one. Did AH use that one on you too? ;)

Anonymous said...

I had a guy "accidently" pour his beer on me and then suggest we hit the dance floor to dry me off. Yes, it worked.

Hazel Designs said...

The schools one is funny, if you're ballsy enough to actually try it :)

rachaelgking said...

Unfortunately, I'm tacky enough that I LOVE bad pick up lines... when they're done right. My favorite is: (Walk by, stop, look back)- "Excuse me... do you believe in love at FIRST sight?... Or do I need to walk by again."

Joel said...

See, AAB, I think it takes guts for guys to use lines this bad; give them credit!

slopmaster said...

well, the worst line I've ever used it "it's not going to suck itself" while pointing downwards.

anyway, those are terrible

HEY, I want to be a guest blogger.

smash, that's awesome.

Coraline said...

Rosemarie's pickup line was awful. I think that guy must have been masochistic, because you can't be sure what you can expect after something like that. But you definitely can be sure what not to expect: a date :D