Tuesday, January 13, 2009

New invention: MENttens


I hate winter. And not because of the snow. (Well, I don't exactly love the snow. But I do love the changing of the seasons, and if we didn't have winter we'd miss Spring and Fall.)

But on to my point. I hate winter. Why? One word: GLOVES.

I have seen many cute boys out and about lately: at Banana Republic (or BaMANa, as you know I've renamed it), walking downtown during lunch, at Heinen's after work.

But they've all had gloves on... so I can't see their hands to tell if they're married or not! (But I do know that they certainly don't have frostbite. Good for them.)

(I suppose I should assume that any man wearing gloves probably has a wife or girlfriend because, really, what guy buys gloves for himself?)

Anyhoo... enter my new invention: MENttens: Gloves for Men. Proof for Ladies.*

(I considered something like "Love Gloves" for a hot minute, but then realized that "love gloves" is probably already patented and means something very, very different for most of you.)

MENttens would work similar to hypercolor shirts from the '80s + a stoplight. Basically, the left ring finger would turn red if the guy were married, yellow if he were in a relationship and green if he were single. (And, seeing as most men are oblivious anyhow, they probably wouldn't even notice the color change when they slipped the gloves on their hands.)

But how could you get guys to actually wear the gloves, especially the ones who are trying to hide their relationship status (once they figured out the color changing trick)? Make the MENttens smell like pizza, look like the interior of some fancy sports car and feel like Heidi Klum's boobs on the inside. Oh, and the more regularly the guy wears them, the bigger his... um... brain gets.

Who wants to place the first order?

*This concept property of Always a Bridesmaid. Any attempt to use this idea without express written consent from the inventor will result in you being required to force Paul Rudd to marry me.

10 comments:

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

do you know something that has really been bugging me? i think there needs to be an engaged ring too - OH and when you are married? you have to wear your ring.

i have been tricked a couple of times recently. not cool.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Alexa - hmmm... we will need to work on a summer/warm weather version of MENttens. Let's get the patent attorneys on this idea stat.

Miss Fabulous said...

I think it's a great idea! A lot of men are color blind right? It's perfect. As far as Alexa's problem goes maybe wives should require men to get their wedding "rings" tattooed on their fingers...evidentally it's rather popular. http://weddings.about.com/cs/rings/a/tattoorings.htm

kpoor said...

Ridiculous

Famously Single said...

Paul Rudd is my celebrity crush too!

chuck h said...

could you make a female version of this? I hate when a woman is wearing gloves for this exact same reason.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Fabulous - you're right... I forgot about the color blind factor.

Kpoor - Not ridiculous. Brilliant.

Single - I love him. Did you see when he was on SNL recently? *sigh*

Chuck - just like a man to steal a woman's idea. ;)

Cynnie said...

I've been married umpteen times ( I've always been a bride ..never a bridesmaid )and i've rarely worn a ring ..
but then , I'm not a man ..and i guess men dont give a shit :)


I would bone Paul Rudd even if he had ten wives

Candis said...

You're funny. I think it's a great idea. I agree with Alexa too. Engaged or Married basically the same thing, right?

Medicated and Motivated said...

I gave you an award:

http://alwaysmedicatedandmotivated.blogspot.com/2009/01/this-is-just-too-cute.html