Monday, January 12, 2009

Man Monday


For those of you new to reading this blog (or who have amnesia from last week), here's the second installment of Man Monday, courtesy of TMGB (The Male Guest Blogger for those of you with amnesia... wait... what?... who has amnesia?... where am I?). Enjoy!

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First of all, my apologies for the tardiness of this post. You see, U.S. Senator George Voinovich announced his retirement today, and that has caused quite a bit of activity on the political blog that I maintain when I’m not writing guess blog posts for AAB. So, I’m a bit behind schedule today, not that that is atypical of Mondays. But can you believe the insolence of Voinovich to interrupt AAB and I’s carefully planned blogging schedule? The nerve!

Now, I was going to devote this post to telling you about the hilarious attempts by my family and friends to cheer me up about being single on my fast-approaching (10 days away!) 30TH birthday. However, since AAB’s post about me generated such excitement and 10 replies, I thought I’d take a little bit of time to introduce myself instead. Specifically, I just wanted to answer AAB’s questions.

Question #1: Am I an ax murderer? That would negative, ghostrider. I run one of Ohio’s largest political blogs (AAB knows which one. I sent her the link in my first e-mail to her), and have interviewed numerous elected officials, including Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland, Sen. Sherrod Brown, and others. I was approved for press credentials for the Democratic National Convention in Denver this past summer, and I’m sure that the approval process for that involved someone poking around in my not-so-dirty laundry.

I found AAB’s blog in the Plain Dealer’s What bloggers are talking about… column which I read to see if any of my stuff shows up in there. I loved it. She’s hilarious. If I was an axe murderer, I would think that either my employer would have picked up on that and not hired me, or my bank would have picked up on it and not approved me for a mortgage, or something like that. Besides, anyone who knows me would tell you that I’m a big teddy bear. So, nope, not an axe murderer.

Question #2: How tall am I? Before I answer this question, let me just say this.

I understand that women prefer men who are tall, at least as tall as they are. I get that. It’s a mate preference that has been baked right into female DNA over millennia of evolution. OK? I got it.

But, men have their own mate preference that also has been baked right into male DNA over millennia of evolution. That preference is for a woman who has an hourglass figure. And yet, I can’t help but notice that while it would be considered VERY impolite for a man to inquire about a woman’s weight, somehow it’s perfectly okay for a woman to ask a man how tall he is. Hello, double standard.

Can you imagine what would happen to any man who asked a woman he was chatting with online how much she weighed? I can see it now. A mob of angry women showing up to his house with torches and pitchforks, ripping him from his home and driving him out of town with whips and vicious dogs on leashes and drummers like the guy from Progressive Field banging away as they march the poor bastard to the city gates.

All that said, I’m 5 foot 10. :)

Question #3: Do I wear a lot of jewelry? In all seriousness, No. Absolutely not. I wear a watch with a stainless steel band and that’s all. I have a silly superstition that says it would be a bad idea to wear any more than that. It’s silly, but it’s something I wouldn’t tell a girl the reason for unless I really trust her.

Question #4: What does my smile look like? I think its my best feature. :)

Do I meet the critiera for the finders’ fee? Well, I don’t really consider myself a metrosexual. But 5 out of 6 isn’t a bad batting average. (Always a Bridesmaid side note: good thing I'm not a stickler for someone good at math. There are clearly not six questions here, are there?)

Would I be open to meeting with AAB? Sure, but I think that if we did that it would probably put a damper on this whole guest blogging thing. And I’ve got lots of stuff to share with you. I’ve got all of my birthday suggestions, a couple of hilarious fix-up dates to tell you about, plus more fun stuff on the way. So, when this whole guest blogging thing has run its course, maybe AAB and I will meet up somewhere. But until then, sit back and relax folks, because there’s more TMGB coming next week.

Until then,
TMGB

*****

P.S. Make sure you check back tomorrow to learn about the idea I have for a new invention that will make living in cold-temperature regions a little easier for us single ladies.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I believe when he refered to 5 out of 6, he was refering to the 6 critria in the finders' fee. Just a quick observation. I love your blog!

Sarah said...

He wears a watch! I think this might be a match made in heaven...

Julesercise said...

TGMB, just so you know, being a blood relative of AAB, I believe metrosexuals (or as my husband would say, meterosexuals) are overrated.

Secondly, I love that people think you are a big teddy bear.

That being said, please meet up with her and don't wait until after your great stories are heard. Who knows, maybe your first meeting will bring some more blog-worthy content.

Also, you should ask AAB when her bday is.

blogmom said...

1) Wears a watch - check
2) Shares your Astrological sign -
interesting - must be awesome to
be born in January - check
3) Italian - check- at least for
blogdad!
4) Shares your love for writing - check
5) Good sense of humor - check

Hope TMGB changes his mind about meeting you before he is finished posting as guest blogger. Also, interesting that he writes a political blog - has the political "connection" been discussed between the two of you?

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Julesercise & Blogmom - TMGB and I have already emailed about our birthdays (they are not on the same day). And we already decided we don't want to meet yet. So hold on to your horses.

Anonymous said...

This guys sucks, stop this guest blog crap...and I know you did a man with a watch on, but what if those arms are covered in monkey hair to the knuckles...how's that make you feel??

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Anonymous - I think you meant "dig," right? Regardless, why so angry? Wow. (P.S. You might not want to stop by on Mondays for the next few weeks. Sorry!)

Julesercise said...

Perhaps Anonymous is jealous and wants you for him(or her?)self. There is nothing wrong with TMGB and he does not suck. And, if you don't meet him now, I am not reading your blog anymore. Not.