Man Monday

We're giving TMGB a week off (he needs to recover from his Dirty Thirty anyhow) to bring you a reader question from an XY.

I know I’ve said this before, but I’m always amazed that boys read this blog. (Actually, I’m amazed that anyone reads it!)

Anyhow, I got an email from a boy this weekend – we’ll call him In Too Deep (because he requested a blog name and this story has to do with swimming… sort of) – asking for your advice with his love life. Specifically, he wants to know why girls play games. (Duh. Because we’re getting back at the boys who do the same thing to us!)

In the interest of time (yours!), I’ve shortened the story/background for you. (And it’s STILL long. TWSS.) Take a read and help a brother out in the comments section.

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I met this girl three Saturdays ago when we were out in a large group of mutual friends. I thought she was cute, but I was getting the vibe that he had a boyfriend or something.

I took a leap of faith and started talking to her. Turns out she's a swim coach and this was her one night out in quite a while due to work obligations. We exchanged numbers and I told her I'd give her a call sometime next week.

Everyone leaves, I'm on my way home and get a text from her saying, "it was great meeting you, etc., etc.” I reply back, “you too, I'll call you this week & maybe we can meet up for dinner.”

We met for dinner that Thursday, had a great time and could have spent the whole night talking, but alas the restaurant was closing and they kicked us out. After the "first date,” I heard from some of our mutual friends that she talked about how excited she was for this date, what a great guy I am, etc.

Since then we've spent time together two more times and I just generally have had a great time when I'm with her.

Fast forward to yesterday. (Always a Bridesmaid sidenote: “yesterday” was Saturday in this email.) I hadn’t talked to her for a couple of days. I was trying to play it cool, but inside it was killing me to not say hi to her or ask how her day was going.

So I get a text from her in the early evening saying that her swim meet just ended and that she'd call and let me know if she was going out so we could meet up.

I went out with a couple friends and didn't hear back from her. No big deal, I thought. But she ended up going out with some of her friends, and by a stroke of luck we all ended up at the same bar.

She came over and said hi to me, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and that was about it for the night. She talked to me very little the whole evening and she kept complaining about being tired, wanting to go home. I offered to take her home if she wanted to go, but she kept insisting I had been drinking (which I was, but I would never put my life in danger, let alone someone else's). She ended up calling a cab for herself.

On my way home I sent her a text, telling her I hoped she made it home and to have a good night. As of 5pm today (AAB sidenote: “today” is Sunday in this letter), that message has not be returned.

Obviously she likes me (she's initiated both times we went out together) and made the first move in the kissing thing (pathetic, I know!). So what was her issue last night? Is she playing hard to get? Did the fact that I was wearing a hat last night turn her off? Should I have worn black instead of blue? Or is she seeing if I can crack?

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Personally, I don’t think she’s playing games, In Too Deep. Maybe she’s just fed up with being the one to initiate everything? You said it yourself. SHE initiated your dates, SHE initiated your first kiss, and SHE was the one who came over to you at the bar on Saturday nite. Did you go over to her at any point on Saturday nite to pay special attention to her? And have you ever actually called her to chat? Or are you one of those serial texting guys? Maybe she thinks you're the one playing games, and that you're not interested in her.

What advice do you guys have for In Too Deep?