Happy snowed-in weekend, Cleveland! (Unless you're reading this from somewhere warm and sunny, in which case... well... I'm jealous.)
A friend forwarded me this article from the Today show's website (perhaps as a result of my documented crush on Matt Lauer).
Anyhow, the article outlines 10 Dating Decisions to Find Love in '09. Let's take a gander at what is suggested (followed by my commentary in pink):
- I will be open to the possibility of changing my expectations in order to embrace a serious relationship. Fair enough. But funny is non-negotiable. And he has to open doors too.
- I am willing to take stock of my previous patterns and approach dating in a new and healthier way. Is it considered a "previous pattern" to date guys who everyone thinks might be gay? Does that mean I have to hang out at biker bars?
- I am aware that some of the things I've been looking for have been influenced by baggage from my childhood and previous relationships, and I'm willing to leave that baggage in '08. I disagree with this one. I think you learn something from every relationship you're in (whether romantic or otherwise), and that helps you make better decisions in the future. So, I am going to hold onto all of those childhood and previous relationship memories. (Well... maybe not that memory of peeing my pants in third grade...)
- I believe there is more than one "ideal mate" per person, and a good partner is not defined by a list of achievements and traits, but by being willing and able to commit to making the relationship work. OK, I'll buy this one. I mean, I have more than one "ideal friend" out there. Why not assume that would hold true in the love department too?
- I will not project who I am and what I want in ways that are at odds with my true desires based on fulfilling some inauthentic ideal of what a "perfect partner" is supposed to be like. True dat. I would never change for a boy. Plus, I am the "perfect partner." So they should change for me. ;) Jaaaay kaaaay. (About the changing part. Not the me being perfect part.)
- I will not be unduly influenced by the opinions of friends and family when it comes to knowing who and what I want in a potential mate. They didn't say anything about being influenced by blog readers!
- I will not regard myself as incomplete when I'm not in a relationship. I'd have been incomplete for a long time now if I believed this one.
- I will not settle for someone who does not make me happy out of fear of being alone/single. Never would. Which apparently makes me "too picky." Whatevs.
- I will make an ongoing effort to consider whether a person might be right before disqualifying them based on initial decisions or snap judgments. Damn. I love judging boys. And just FYI... my first impressions are almost always accurate. But OK. I'll try.
- I will explore new avenues and expand my social horizons to meet new people. As long as this doesn't mean I have to join a chess club.
I don't know about you, but I'm not all that inspired after reading these resolutions. I don't like how so many of them start with "I will not..." That's not putting out very positive vibes, is it?
What love resolutions would you suggest? (Don't be gross. Blogmom and blogdad read this.)
P.S. Happy birthday, blogmom!
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5 comments:
You're supposed to look at what you WANT, not what you don't want. At least that's what I heard. I probably shouldn't be the one giving advice. Ask your married friends! On a side note, Matt Lauer is referred to as Estee Lauer at the studio because he wears so much make-up!
I actually made a 2009 ResLovelution to leave the men of my past (as you would put it) in. the. past. I have learned what I can learn from them and how they affected my life; good or bad.
Men and jobs ( resist any temptation to gutter that ) run parallel. You know that urge you get to find a new employer when you’ve had enough of your current company…the politics, the boredom, the incompetence. And when expressing your lack of satisfaction, someone inevitably says, “You know, there is no perfect job?!” oh yeah, I am sure Gisele Bundchen is looking to break into medicine because the mundane world of modeling is making her depressed...but, that isn’t the point right now. Anyhow, my friend had the perfect response to that piece of advice; “I realize there is no perfect job, but I am ready for new things to be pissed about.” Now take the above, and when you see the word job, replace it with man. Like, I said…200Time to move on.
Ha! What Colleen said is awesome!!
I tell you what, the " don't judge resolution" is spot-on. I have continually judged men upon first meeting, including HG. His persistence in wanting to take me out paid off because I never would have given him a chance otherwise.
And at the beginning, I still judged him... until one day a friend told me, "You know, he is really very, very genuinely nice."
That's all I needed to hear apparently because, truly I didn't think "that type of guy" existed anymore. :)
What does the Today Show know anyway?
I disagree with this one. I think you learn something from every relationship you're in (whether romantic or otherwise), and that helps you make better decisions in the future.
good call, totally agree with this. If you don't learn anything from it, you just wasted your time with that person with nothing to take away from it.
I'd say be open to the whole new avenues thing, but you're probably not ready for biker bars.
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