Sunday, September 7, 2008

"Why are you still single?"

This is my absolute favorite question EVER. Seriously. Why the eff do people think that's a normal question to ask? I OBVIOUSLY don't have the answer or I wouldn't be single, right? But, here are my top three responses:

  1. I was in a six-year relationship with a guy who turned out to be a gay nurse. [EDITOR'S NOTE: He was not really gay, but even I have to admit that he did have some tendencies.]

  2. I guess I just haven't found the right guy yet.

  3. I have cats.

This question seemed especially appropriate when people asked it at each of my younger sisters' weddings. Where I was dateless. It was usually followed up by, "You're next!" No kidding. I'm the only one left!

NOTE: An alternative version of this question is more behavioral , involving someone grabbing my left hand, looking at it in a perplexed manner and then dropping it while shaking his/her head in disgust.

The truth is, that until the past year or so, I have pretty much always had a boyfriend. Most notably, there was:

The Mush Mouth - my college boyfriend (we dated for 2+ years) and my first "real" BF. He mumbled everything he said (which did not go over well in my loud Italian family). He's now married with a kid and lives about 10 minutes from me.

The Murse - the guy I dated for six years (from ages 23 - 29) but who ultimately could not commit. After that long together, I issued a DNR on that relationship (even after he came back a year later asking for another chance).

The Divorcee - the guy I dated for about eight months after I broke up with the Murse. We got along really well, but he was just ultimately not ready to be dating seriously at that point in his life, and... well... I was.

There have been other randoms sprinkled in here and there, but obviously none of those guys panned out either. So, I guess for now I have to come to terms with that fact that I'll have to be prepared to keep answering that question.

Have any other ideas for how I can respond?

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