Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Sparks from the start


I had a date last nite. With the girl who "outed" me to The Greek. What a complete cluster fuc... April Fool! Ha ha ha.

Actually, I did have a date. But not with that chic. With a boy.

He was a very nice guy. Strong family ties, great job, good sense of humor. But I'm not sure there was any type of "spark" or romantic connection with him. (In fact, I'm sure of it. Like, I don't think I could ever imagine kissing him. But I could imagine going to an Indians game or grabbing a beer with him and a group of friends.)

While I certainly don't need to date a guy who looks like Brad Pitt or George Clooney (though I wouldn't kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers), I do think it's important to have some sort of attraction right off the bat. Maybe it's his laugh... his smile... his eyes... his wallet.

(Ha ha ha. TOTES kidding about the wallet thing. You know I'm kidding, right? Just want to make sure I don't develop more haters who think I'm only out for a guy's money. A girl who's a gold digger doesn't date a guy who is jobless/in school for several years of their six-year relationship. So, yes, I am completely kidding about the wallet thing.)

(BTW, it sucks that I now feel like I have to clarify every joke I make because I'm worried some chic is going to try to sabotage me from now on. Eff.)

Anyhow, while I realize that sometimes the "connection" with a guy takes time to develop (unless, of course, you're on The Bachelor, in which case it takes two minutes), I've always found that no physical attraction from the start is never a good thing. (At least, not for me.)

Sparks from the start... necessary or not?

19 comments:

Allison M. said...

Um yes. If there aren't sparks there, they might not be anywhere else either.

Anonymous said...

I disagree. It took me several years to realize there were sparks. With my now-husband. And I wouldn't change the way it played out for the world :)

Stacey D. said...

Oh, please don't let that saboteur censor your blog. She really isn't worth it. One thing that I always tell people - if I write something, whether it is on paper or on the internet and you read it, whether I let you or because you snooped around and you don't like what I said...that is your problem. Anything I write is my opinion - you don't have to like it or agree with it. You also don't HAVE to read it.

As for your date - I can understand how for some people that first initial attraction is an important thing. After a while - not so much. I had been through quite a few relationships and had 2 children before I met my husband. We were coworkers and friends and I was not the least bit attracted to him. I fell in love with him through his friendship and in time I began to love all of him and the attraction was there. So, it does happen in reverse.

Good luck

Anonymous said...

Come on, do you think for a moment that someone as attractive and HOT as blogmom would have had a spark with the likes of me, right from the start? Maybe it was my personality! Give it time. Lots of people fall in love with their best friend. I know I did. And here we are 37 years and AAB and her 2 sissies later.

Love, Blogdad

blogmom said...

If you were able to see this person on a regular basis, then maybe sparks would develop over time. Don't know if it's fair to you or to him to expect too much on a first date. I think the basis for any lasting relationship is friendship, and if he possesses qualities that you value, sparks may be somewhere in the future. Immediate sparks won't necessarily guarantee any real substance in a relationship.

Girly Girl said...

Totally necessary. I HATE when people tell me to "give it a try" "make more effort" "give it some time". If he can be "just not that in to me" as the book states, why can't I as well. The diff being, I won't drag it out and lead him on. I'm tired of told that I'm too picky! I'm cute and funny and smart with a good job. All I'm asking is that the guy brings that to the table in return. Not too much to ask for. So if you're not attacted to him, there should be no shame or blame in that! Bridesmaid, just remember we deserve our prince charming or "groomsman" if you will, too! We DESERVE sparks!!!

LiLu said...

I'm a huge promotor of sparks from the start. Probably because my own started that way, though... but every time I've fallen for a guy, that's how it was. I just knew, the minute I saw them, that they were special.

God, I'm a dweeb.

blogmom said...

Dad is wrong - there WERE sparks, but he just doesn't know it!

I still think that sparks don't always happen the first meeting. Nice if they do, but not essential.

d said...

No more qualifying!! You are too good for that. If people don't get your humor, then eff them!!

Anonymous said...

After my first date with "Lord William", I knew that I had to give him another chance. I remember running into a friend, right after our date (like within an hour), and telling her I needed to see him again. I wasn't sure if there was going to be more than friendship, but I wanted to give it a chance.

AT

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Wow, thanks for all the feedback, guys. I guess I should have clarified when I said there was no spark that I'm just not sure I'm attracted to him in any way.

Also, blogmom and blogdad... you guys are so cute you make me want to puke. In a good way, of course. :)

Julesercise said...

blogdad, you bring a blogtear to my eye.

Smash said...

I believe in sparks - if they aren't there, its so over for me.

And don't go changing your jokes or explaining them - ignore your crazy sabteur and be yourself! Because the REST of us LOVE your blog!

I am glad to see march man-ness is panning out with dates - keep it up in April and hope you find some fireworks!

kpoor said...

What if the sparks happen to hit you in the eye? Ouch.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i love blogdad!!! so sweet!

and i don't think sparks have to be there from the beginning. because i know that myself personally, i'm a fine wine that gets better with age.

HAHA, vomit.

Anonymous said...

I know the first time I met Blogdad there were sparks!!!

Love,
Blog-Molly :)

Anonymous said...

As long it was you and not Drew

Blogdad

Anonymous said...

Ummm...I think you and Drew had "Wildcat" sparks for eachother!!!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Blogdad & BlogMolls -- please stop e-flirting via the blog. Thank you -- the Mgmt

Julesercise -- ha ha. "Blogtear" brought me a hearty bloglaugh.

Alexa -- is that why you were drinking so much wine last nite?