Sunday, April 26, 2009

Doin' it bloggie style


I wish I could say that I were witty enough to come up with that "bloggie style" reference myself, but, alas, it was stolen from an ad on the back of the gay porn magazine that my friend Michele got at her bachelorette party this weekend. (I won't gross you out by sharing the name of the blog that the ad was promoting.)

Needless to say, it was a pretty wild nite (especially by Findlay, Ohio standards). A few highlights from our adventures:


  • A friend of ours announcing to the bride-to-be's future mother-in-law that she was a "very sensual girl" (this same friend also asked my friend if she takes baths with her fiancee... in front of her mother)

  • Seeing men at the bar wearing honest-to-goodness denim overalls (similar to the ones I wore circa 1995 in college)

  • Walking in on a girl from the party taking a BM at the first bar we were at (umm, lock the door, please)

  • 2o minutes later, seeing another friend's hoo-hah when the door swung open as she was going to the bathroom

  • Forcing our friend Shannon to make a cake for us so we could eat it after hours (there's no Panini's in Findlay, kids)

  • My friend Nikki gorging on leftover shrimp cocktail late nite, deciding that she was going to "melt a tub of butter and eat it like it's lobster" (actually, we were all grateful that she didn't try to use the fruit-flavored sex lube "Dick Tasty" that she had given to the bachelorette earlier that nite)

Aaaaaand, yet another ridiculous bachelorette party under my belt. And you would be so proud of me. I did not give my number out to any chefs or lawyers. (In fact, I'm not sure there even are any chefs or lawyers in Findlay.) I didn't do the robot. I didn't even black out (even though I was drinking blackout and tonics).

OMG, am I actually growing up? Say it ain't so!

16 comments:

Carrie said...

Let's be honest...I don't think you're growing up! I think they watered down their bottles making your blackout and tonics simply less potent. I was waaaayyy to sober for as much as I drank.

Ummm....I also think that HanCock county really didn't have much to offer besides the bare-footed singer, hottie in the overalls, or perhaps the toothless woman Nikki was dancing with. Honestly, you didn't have many choices to give your number out too.

PS....thank GOD it was you who saw my hoo-ha instead of some stranger ;)

chill

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Chill - make sure you send me the pic of those hotties so I can post it for all of our blog friends to see!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

P.S. I can't believe you didn't comment on the "BM" mention. That was all for you, ma'lady.

Al said...

ok so im feeling a little clueless so im going to ask a dumb question... what a BM? :)

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Sorry, AI. BM = bowel movement. My friend Carrie said it on the car ride there and we found it so funny that we used it the entire weekend (and in the blog entry recapping the weekend). :)

Al said...

OOOOOHHHH!!! that makes sense, and a really wonderful shortening of something thats not so glamorous to announce! Creator of the word, good work!!

i was racking my mind trying to think what it could stand for and i was more thinking she had a random in the toilets or something :)

Carrie said...

You know I was completely going make a comment on the "BM", but my original comment was so long already, I figured it best be left unsaid.

I will totes get the picture to you stat. all your blog friends need to see all that Findlay has to offer.

MG said...

yeah I'm not really sure if you're "growing up" but i dont know you as well.

I AM and have been surprised that this blog is thematically related to looking for love/marriage but you seem to not be boring as I personally would perceive someone who's looking to get married. but then, I don't know shit about women either and my perception is horribly flawed.

ok survey time, i have this going on fbook too and think yall would enjoy it: which would you prefer: a girl/guy from way back when has wanted you forever and decided to find you, recently realized he/she wanted you so she found you, or you re-connected natrually and it turned out to be a great match (perhaps that he/she thinks you've really turned out quite well) so it's a solid match?

Chuck said...

This post is a good reminder of one thing: this blog is mostly written for female consumption. "Dick Tasty?" Seriously?

LiLu said...

"Walking in on a girl from the party taking a BM at the first bar we were at (umm, lock the door, please)"

I tried! Damn cheap locks...

Always a Bridesmaid said...

MG - just because someone is looking to get married doesn't mean she is boring. I don't get that logic at all. Fun girls get married too, you know!

Chuck - just a little insight into the goings-on of bachelorette parties. You're welcome.

LiLu - ha ha. But, I actually knew the girl who I walked in on and it wasn't you. ;)

MG said...

I know I know (I think).

I really just starting knowing married people last year (beyond my parents and brother) and most have SEEMED that way (doesn't mean they are). I'm just adjusting to the culture of knowing married people- I don't hang out with any and none of my guy friends are...

but per the blog, I also mean to say that some of the content here seems to break from the "27 dresses" format and be more about how you have a fun life, which could confuse simple men or seem a logical dis-joint. It's cool with me either way.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

MG - this blog is essentially a digital diary of my life and times being a single girl in an increasingly married world. Doesn't mean I can't have fun while I'm looking for Mr. Right!

MG said...

Aja. ok the so the format is not about the search for Mr. Right, it's about your life in general.

Understood. It's definitely a fun and well-written.

blogmom said...

Too bad these parties are never any fun! Did Findlay get to witness your famous fist-in-the-mouth trick or were there too many other sights to behold?

For all those endearing routines in your repertoire - there's always the wedding!!!

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Ha ha ha! I love that blogmom just gave a shout-out to the fist trick!