Sunday, April 19, 2009

Found: my "type"

We had a super fun bday outing for Brissy this weekend: House party. Strip club. Gay bar. Can it get any better than that? (Oh, yes it can. Transportation? The strip club party bus. Who knew that gays liked strip clubs?!?)

(Sidenote: in case you're new here, Brissy is my family's gay quasi-adopted brother. He does every holiday, birthday and family vacation with us. Brissy = brother (because he's a boy) + sister (because he's gay). We love Brissy.)

Anyhow, during the course of the nite, I discovered my type: an honest-to-goodness gay guy. (At least, as long as he's friends with Brissy. Because those guys are aahh-maaa-zing.) For realz. Here's why:

  • I wouldn't ever have to apologize for playing Britney Spears music. In fact, it would be encouraged. (It certainly was last nite.)

  • I would have someone to learn all the dance routines from music videos with. (Fun!)

  • There would be no shortage of one-liners to keep me entertained. Example (when discussing blogdad's attempt to grow his hair out like Richard Gere circa Pretty Woman): "More like Richard Queer!" (Actual words spoken by Brissy.)

  • I wouldn't have to plan all of the fun outings/dates. Brissy's friends had that stuff taken care of last nite. From the free shuttle bus and passes for the strip club to the hailing of a cab for sissy and me when we were beat (the boys were still partying), we didn't have to worry about a thing. (Other than our crazy cab driver on the way home.)
  • I would be guaranteed affection without the expectation of anything more. (I lost track of the number of hugs and back rubs I got last nite.)

  • I'd never have to worry if he was going to potentially embarrass me by pulling out some old-school oversized rugby or other horrendous article of clothing. And even if he did wear a rugby, I'm certain it would be the right size. (And designer.)

I suppose there would be some downsides too (like, the fact that he'd likely be more romantically interested in my brothers-in-law than me). *SIGH*

But in theory, I'm sort of really liking the GBF (gay boyfriend) idea. Now if I could just find a gay straight guy...


Anonymous said...

My roommate for the month right now is gay and he is AHHHH-MAAAAA-ZIIIIIING too! Best roommie ever.

More bonuses to a gay bf - he will watch girlies movies and tv shows with you, he understands your obsession with shoes and purses, and he never lets you out of the house looking like anything but fabulous!

muthu said...


Always a Bridesmaid said...

Smash - OMG, you're so right. I forgot to mention that Brissy is a make-up artist, so he always makes sure we look fab.

Anonymous said...

AAB...if I remember correctly, you already dated a gay straight guy. AKA...the Murse.


Anonymous said...

Was it a strip club with nude girls or nude guys? And if it was girls, what's the purpose of going?

MG said...

Is this your first "fag-hag" moment? If so, i can't believe it!

now my question is do you attempt conversion or just appreciate it for what it is?


p.s. I'm really disapointed there wasn't more of a lively debate on the topic of Cougars last week.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Anon - it was girls (is there even a male strip club in Cleveland? who knew?). Anyhow, I didn't make the gay party rules. I just went along for the ride. I suspect part of the allure is that Brissy is a makeup artist and he does a lot of those girls' makeup.

MG - no attempts for conversion here. Just enjoying the company (and wishing they liked girls!).

d said...

Oh girl, I have been into questionably straight men my entire life. From my love of Kylie, to my obsession with heels and makeup to my adoration of thin, well dressed men. Trouble.