I received a package at work this week asking me to be auctioned off in a bachelor/bachelorette event to benefit a local nonprofit.
Apparently, I have become Cleveland's poster child for "eligible singles" opportunities.
First, there was the Cleveland Magazine "20 Sexy Singles" article a couple of years ago.
Then there was the Plain Dealer article earlier this year about Cleveland's most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes.
And now, THIS request. How have I suddenly become the go-to bachelorette for these things?
And I'm not writing to brag about being picked for this stuff. I promise you -- I really am not.
In fact, I find them rather embarrassing. On one hand, it is flattering to be nominated (albeit by sisters/parents/friends who just want to see me coupled up already) and featured in "hot singles" lists. (If George Clooney can do it, why can't I?)
On the other, it is sort of demoralizing to be the chic who keeps getting picked for these things because everyone thinks you're a great catch -- but, still, you somehow manage to stay single. I'm like the freaking Cameron Diaz of Cleveland! (OK... not quite... but a girl can dream, no?)
Long story short: both times I've done these "singles" articles, it hasn't worked out AT ALL. Picked up a couple of Creepy McCreepertons, reconnected with a couple of high school friends and ended up with a couple of random pseudo-stalkers. (Check out my posts about The Murse 2.)
And to be perfectly honest, I don't think I can put myself through that humiliation again. (Looks sort of desperate to keep popping up in these things, no?)
So instead of raffling myself off, I'm going to support the charity by writing a check... and keeping my dignity.
(Which could be my safest option anyhow, since I still don't know who The Creepy Texter is!)