Finding a mate(y)

Was I the only person surprised to learn that pirates still exist? WTF? It's 2009, right? I mean, I remember learning about them back in 5th grade social studies class, but I never expected to hear Matt Lauer (my love) break news about a ship being taken over by pirates in the 21st century.

(BTW, thank goodness that captain is OK now. How horrific. Aaaarggh.)

Anyhow, this recent news story got me thinking: who would be the best pirate boyfriend? (And, no, I'm not talking about anything regarding an angry pirate, you sickos.)

Here are the contenders:

• ORLANDO BLOOM -- cute. 'nuff said. (I don't even mind the long scruffy hair.)


• JOHNNY DEPP -- cute. 'nuff said. (Plus, you could always borrow his eyeliner if you ran out.)


• LONG JOHN SILVER -- fried food. 'nuff said. (Though I'm not sure the technical pirate version is also tied to the fast food chain. But a girl can dream, can't she?)


• JOSH DUHAMEL -- ok, so he's never technically played a pirate in any movies or TV shows. But he's so yummy, can't you forgive that one little issue?

What say you? Which one of these guys would you walk the plank for?

P.S. Raise your hand (errrr... comment) if you read the "Aaaarggh" above in your head like a pirate.