Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Marrying Kind

This guest post comes courtesy of my sweet, sassy, single friend Liberty Belle. Since I haven't had any juicy boy stories lately, I thought I owed you one. And, boy, it's a doozy. Read on!


I shared this story with our heroine, AAB, and she asked me to submit a guest blog to share this disaster with her readers. As you read this, think about how you would have handled what happened. I would love to know!

I met The Contractor on Halloween. I literally spotted him when he walked in the door of the bar and our eyes met across the room. I kid you not. He was not my normal type (more Bradley Cooper than Gael GarcĂ­a Bernal.) He bee lined towards me and introduced himself. And although he no longer lived in the area, he was charming, good looking, successful (owned his own business – which brought him to town for an extended work trip) and most important – no ring!

In an effort to snap our photo after we met, he “accidentally” dumped his beer down my dress. “Let’s get on the dance floor and dry you off,” was his response. Had he not been so cute I would have scoffed. But dance I did and we exchanged numbers and went out the next night. (How about THAT pick up line, btw?)

Early on I had asked him if he had a girlfriend back home. “Not right now,” was his answer.

Upon learning his age (40) I was curious if he had been married. “Yes, is that a problem?” No, I assured him, it certainly was not – so long as he was not STILL married, I joked. But I did not have a good feeling about and I should know my gut is usually right. Probably because I knew he was away from home, I had no one to give me a background check on him (like a friend of a friend that might know him) and he rarely called me – mostly texted.

The clincher was when he went away to his parents in FLA over Thanksgiving and I received no calls from him for over a week. When he returned I asked him again about his marital status. He remained very adamant about his current singlehood. “My marriage is over. I am sorry you have been worried about it, but it is.”

We continued to date between Halloween and Christmas when his job here wrapped and he moved back to his home down south. Since the new year I have heard from a couple of times – offering to come make me chicken soup when I was sick (it is easy to offer when you have no intention of following through!) and inquiring after me when he heard about my company’s big layoff announcement.

Really, I have not been putting much stock in it – just thinking it might be nice to keep in touch for a future hook up. On a recent call he informed me he might be coming back to town for another job but may have to “sneak away” for a visit sooner. (Hmmm… interesting choice of word – sneak?)

(AAB sidenote: this is where it gets REALLY good.)

Fast forward to last week. As I am upstairs getting ready for work, I miss a call that goes to voicemail. When I later check it I see I have a missed call and (bonus!) a voicemail from The Contractor!

And readers, this is where I think my guardian angel was watching out for me. He was not calling to check in or chat or even tell me he was coming for a visit. He pocket dialed me with his iPhone. And the message he left is basically a recording of a conversation he is having with what sounds like his FAMILY as they get ready for their day.

There is a whole cast of characters – including a baby (he sounded so happy and cute… awww) and a girl, whom he refers to by the name I had thought was his ex’s name. She is saying she is excited for her birthday dinner he is taking her to that evening. Suddenly, the call signs off.

Now, I am pissed. Not just because it looks like the guy has been lying to me (and is a cheat, but that is his wife’s issue) but he really must have thought so little of me that he thought he could get away with it!

So, after deliberating (and checking in with AAB for some advice) I FORWARD the voicemail back to him, hoping he gets the point. Unfortunately, cell phone technology isn’t that advanced and I receive a voicemail the next day saying, “Your message to the following number was not delivered.”

Darn! Now, what would you have done? Should I have sent him an angry text? What if it really wasn’t his wife (but my gut is telling me it was someone of importance. Plus the gurgling baby?). Needless to say, I have not heard from him since – which is really quite a relief. I am hoping he is embarrassed and only glad this did not get to the point where he would have to reveal anything or experience messy confrontation.

My lesson learned? If I do not meet the guy through someone I know, I am asking for a copy of his divorce records – if he claims he is!


See? I told you it was a good story. I think Liberty Belle has the makings of a great full-time blogger, no? So... what would you have done if you were her?


Medicated and Motivated said...

I like the idea of forwarding the voicemail back to him, but since that didn't work, perhaps send him a text message asking him how his wife's birthday dinner was.

Anonymous said...

did ya ever see the Friends episode wherein "they don't know that we know that they know"....basically having a little fun with ill-gotten info.....

i think she should tell him that she has a surprise for him.....An airline ticket to go and visit him!! would love to be a fly on the wall for his reaction.