On to the next one

A few weeks ago, it was my birthday. I tell you this not to have you send me presents (though I certainly won't refuse them). I tell you this because anyone who's been reading the blog for some time knows what my birthday means: the obligatory annual email from The Murse.

Well, my birthday came and went. No email. So I thought that maybe -- just maybe! -- he finally realized that it was time to just let things live in the past.

(Sidenote: Don't get me wrong. I'm all about being civil with exes. But after you date someone for 6+ years -- during the prime (and skinny) years of your dating life!! -- you sort of have a bad taste in your mouth.)

Anyhow, no such luck. He was just a couple of days late with his greeting.

(Sort of like he was late with everything else. Including realizing that he effed up the best relationship he had ever had.)

It was a cordial email, telling me that he moved YET AGAIN to a new city (he has a track record of moving after break-ups) and got a new job, asking about my family, yadda yadda yadda.

But you know what? This was the first year that I didn't feel even the slightest ping of "what could have been?" after reading it.

Guess the fourth time's the charm.

As Jay-Z would say... ON TO THE NEXT ONE!

P.S. is anyone else as OBSESSED with that song as I am?!?

Thinking of me on your birthday*

*props to someecards for that phrase - hilarious!

I've written here before about how the only real contact The Murse and I have anymore is our obligatory birthday emails to each other.

This year's birthday email from him was especially bizarre to me. But when I received that pouring-out-his-heart letter from him a few months later, I realized why.

So, today is The Murse's birthday. And prior to getting that letter from him, I really had planned to just ignore it and let things naturally move on from there.

But since I never responded to the letter, I figured I would kill two birds with one stone today. So I wrote him a very nice, funny birthday email.

Told him how my one sissy's hubs is obsessed with finding "letters to the editor" in the newspaper written by his dad. (Seriously. The man has a letter in the Plain Dealer at least once a month.)

How my other sissy and her hubs are expecting a baby.

How I've got another summer of wedding fun lined up, and I'm very much looking forward to celebrating with our friends Michele/Eric and Jenn/Brian. (I got the friends in the break-up.)

And then, I acknowledged the letter.

I thanked him for what he said in it, then basically told him that I was sorry that I didn't really have a deep or profound response to it. Mostly because I had promised myself a long time ago that I couldn’t invest any more time into thinking about “what could have been” with us.

I thought that was the nicest way to let him know that I appreciated the gesture, but that it was still too little, too late.

I have a feeling I may not be getting that obligatory birthday email from him next year.

Soooooooooooorry

There are two reasons for this apology post.

SOOOOOOORRY #1

First, I feel horrible about an entry I wrote back in October recapping a surprise party I went to for my friend Christina's birthday. In it, I used the name of our server, Walter, and sort of made him sound like a d-bag.

(It has always been my policy not to use the real names of guys I date, but I used Walter's real name because he wasn't a "date" of mine... though I now realize that the way I painted him was unfair and I probs shouldn't have named him. So I'm not even linking to that post. You can dig for it if you really want to read it.)

Anyhow, Walter was FAR from a d-bag. In fact, my friends and I talked about him for weeks afterward because he took such good care of us. I mention this because someone who knows Walter must have recently forwarded that post to him, because he commented on it just this week to clear his name.

And, because I doubt you guys are going to go back nearly five months to see his comment, I am taking this opportunity apologize to Walter from Lago. Sorry, Wally! (BTW, you should still get a watch.)

SOOOOOOOORRY #2

Today is my friend Molly's birthday, and the "soooooooorry" header for this post (with the intentional bazillion "o"s) is an homage to her.

Molly and I used to watch a DVD of Ellen DeGeneres stand-up on Friday nites when we were home... single... eating Mitchell's ice cream... in our flannel pajama pants. In the DVD, Ellen did a whole schtick about how, when people say "sooooooorry" with exaggerated "o"s, they don't really mean it. (You just said it in your head, didn't you?)

So, ever since then, Molly and I say "soooooorry" to each other. And, even though Molls is now happily married (my most recent bridesmaid endeavor!) and we don't have our Ellen/ice cream/PJ get-togethers anymore, I still giggle every time I hear someone say it like that. So, Molls... soooooooorry you're getting older! :)

P.S. thanks to all of you for your sweet comments on my recent date with The Greek. It was nice to go out and have fun with a guy who didn't make me want to vurp (vomit + burp) in my mouth, and I'm glad you guys think so too! And, judging from comments on that same post, you all REALLY like the idea of doing March Man-ness brackets for my dates. It is under consideration by management...

P.P.S. welcome to all my new followers! As blogdad would say, I now have "double nickles" (55) followers on the site. If you want to see who's following or become a follower yourself, check out the little box right over there. <--- Many of my followers write great blogs of their own. (Though I dare you to find one whose dating life has been as horrendous as mine!) Check them out!

What a great birthday... er... birth-weekend

I've had a few bday celebrations this week and got lots of fun swag. I'm so thankful to my friends and family for helping me kick this year off right.

I love everything I got (including the two cans of Pringles from blogparents -- which were also tucked in a bag with a gorge garnet/diamond ring... my birthstone) and am so thankful for everyone's thoughtful gifts. (Blogaunt even put together an "I read your blog so I know what you need" kit -- including a g.c. so I can go buy some new undies.) What am I MOST excited to try, though?

This, from sissies:
Why? Because, without it, my hair would literally look like this:

It's one thing to have Tina Turner's legs. It's another to have her hair.

Also... for all of you who have been complaining that the blog has been devoid of good boy stories this year, stay tuned. Had a couple of convos this weekend with people who have potential finders' fee material (read: boys) in the wings.

Which means that maybe my "if your birthday is today" horoscope (which was tucked into one of my bday cards) will come true: If you are single, you enter a new phase in your dating life. Someone quite substantial to your life's history will appear in the near future.

Fun! Thanks again, everyone!

Smooches!!

Happy Hoff-day

My friend Jenn is one sick puppy. She just sent me this birthday greeting, which grossed me out so much that I thought you should all feel the pain too. ;)

You say it's your birthday... na na na na na naaah

It's my birthday too, yeah.

OK, first I must apologize for getting that song stuck in your head all day. (Though I could have been really mean and put the Olive Garden version of the birthday song in your head instead. So, you're welcome.)

Anyhow, yesterday's stormageddon reminded me why having a late January birthday pretty much sucks ass. Why, you ask?

• SNOW STORMS. As a kid, I remember having birthday parties cancelled because of the weather. "But blogmooooooooooooooom... when am I going to get my presents?"


• Which brings me to point two: PRESENTS. It's not that the presents themselves stink. It's that you pretty much get all of your presents for the year (Christmas and birthday) within the span of about a month, then spend the next 11 months waiting for another one. And, as you get older, you start to feel guilty about having a late-January birthday when your friends and family start complaining about how they're low on cash after the holidays but they know your birthday is coming up yadda yadda yadda. Newsflash: it's not my fault that I was born when I was. Talk to blogmom and blogdad about that one.


• THE SUPERBOWL. In addition to the weather spoiling my birthday, the stupid Superbowl always interfered with my parties as a kid. As a little girl, I never "got" why the grown-ups couldn't come to my party because of the Superbowl because, after all, the Browns weren't playing. (Some things never change.) Now I "get" that Superbowl parties are just basically an excuse for adults to eat and drink to excess for no good reason. Which actually has the makings of an awesome birthday party now that I'm 33.


• VALENTINE'S DAY. I've learned (from experience!) that if you're single at Christmas, you're probably still going to be single on your late-January birthday. Which means you're probably still not going to be dating someone by the time the little diapered cherub pops up a couple of weeks later.

That said, I am grateful that I'm heading out to dinner tonite with my sissies and a couple of friends (which I planned for myself -- HA!). And, on Saturday, blogparents are having my sissies, bros-in-law and me (alone) over for a homemade pasta/Electronic Catchphrase soiree.

Why are we doing the family get-together on a Saturday nite? Well, because the Superbowl is on this Sunday, silly. (And even worse... my one bro-in-law is a huge Steelers fan.)

Now if only we could get the bad weather to hit Tampa...

P.S. an early birthday present yesterday... a shout-out in Cool Cleveland about my pick-up lines post. Fun!

A palindrome birthday wish

I suppose I should start this post by first defining the word "palindrome" for those of you who can't remember back to third grade. Palindromes are words that you can read forwards and backwards. Like level. Or racecar. Or go hang a salami. (That last one is I'm a lasagna hog backwards, in case you're wondering.)

So... I'm turning the big 33 next week. (Let's not talk about it too much. It will be the last year that I'll be able to say I'm in my "early 30s," and I'm not happy about it. But now you get the palindrome reference, right?)

Anyhow, I thought it'd be fun to try to get up to 33 "official" blog followers/readers to commemorate the big day. (I know you're out there. I have a blog traffic tracker.)

Whaddya say? Check out the box right over there (<----) and just click on the "Follow this blog" link above all those squares of folks who have already admitted to following my sad dating life. It's not hard at all! (That's what she said.)

Hope to see you following soon! (I mean, it's really not that much to ask for my bday, is it? It's not like I asked you for a new Louis Vuitton. Or a boyfriend. Though I'd take one and/or both of those too.)

P.S. Should we be at all concerned that the original version of this cake picture (before my *sweet* image editing skills kicked in) said, "Happy 30th Birthday, Dan"??? Yes, you read that right. DAN. True story.

*****

UPDATE: Yeah! Got my wish! (And within less than a day. You guys are great!) But, I hope that doesn't deter you from following too if you want to sign up. I'd love to know how many of you are reading the blog with some regularity!

*****

UPDATE 2: Hmmmph. Someone unsubscribed. (The nerve! HA!) So disregard my jubilance in the above update.