Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Opinions are like a**holes

I've been blogging long enough to know that every once in a while, some random faceless reader will attempt to "get" you by posting a mean or demeaning comment.

(Or even worse... attempting to sabotage your dating life!)

So I wasn't all that surprised when I approved a comment from a reader over the weekend (on this post) that said:

Speaking of bat shit crazy... has it occured to you
that maybe it IS you?

Actually, Anonymous, no. That thought has never occurred to me. (And, also, "occurred" has two r's, FYI.)

Because I'm not. Just because a girl has bad luck in the love department does not mean she is crazy.

I mean, everyone is certainly entitled to his/her opinion about me. (My opinion is that I'm faaahbuuulous!) And I realize that by putting myself out there with this blog, I'm opening myself up to those criticisms.

And of course I've questioned decisions or situations about my dating life over the past couple of years. (Why did I even go out with that guy? Why didn't it work out with that other one? How did she end up with him?) I mean, what single girl hasn't wondered about such things?

But no matter how much I question those things, I'm also secure enough to know that I am NOWHERE NEAR batshit crazy.

And I would venture to say that anyone who knows me IRL would corroborate that I am, indeed, a fully functioning, totally normal young professional woman... who just happens to still be single.

(Though if you do know me in real life, please do comment on this post and let me know if you think I AM batshit crazy. Maybe I'm just totally unaware?!?)

So, Anon, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm sure you thought you were really going to hurt my feelings or send me into some deep spiral of depression by posting your little dig. And you're certainly entitled to your opinion.

But I'm here to tell you that just because a girl has had a hard time finding her Prince Charming doesn't mean that there's something wrong with her.

(And if you're a single gal reading this, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Unless you are, indeed, batshit crazy. In which case, please forget everything I just said. HA!)

And anyway... who posts nasty blog comments at 1am on weekend? Someone with a *really* rocking love life themselves, I'm sure.

Do you know me IRL? Am I batshit crazy and just totally in denial!?!?


Respectfully Yours said...

WTF - why do people feel the need to try and bring people down. You are not crazy, you stick to your standards and go girl. My daughter is struggling too and kind find Mr. Right, and she is certainly not crazy either. It is tough out there to find someone normal. Good for you for calling this annonymous person out!

Anonymous said...

I don't know you in real life, but I'm sure you're not bat shit crazy. I've been reading your blog for quite a while and I find you very funny and totally down to earth. But even if you were crazy, what's wrong with that? A little crazy keeps things from getting dull, right? Good luck. I hope 2010 brings you your prince charming, or at least a lot of really hot, fun guys to date along the way.

A said...

Oh, how I love the anonymous crazies. Almost as much as I love calling them out. (After stewing about the comment for a few hours. Does that make me crazy?)

I’ve been lurking for a while. Never once thought you were crazy. Unless hilarious = crazy.

Anonymous said...

Ummm, if you are bat shit crazy because of how you have fared in the love department, then I am BEYOND bat shit crazy!! I am bag lady talking to buildings crazy!!

Jackson said...

you are faaahbuuulous! and i'm with everybody else, you're not crazy, just simply amazing (something they're probably not!)

Unknown said...

Dearest AAB-
You are not at all batshit crazy. I know you IRL and you are down to earth, friggin' hilarious and an all-around great friend (oh...and you're a hottie!).

It's easy to cast stones when you can remain anonymous. So don't worry about this d-bag.

I'm so sick of the double-standard that women are single because they are crazy and men are single because they choose to be. Bullshit (apologies to your blogmom and blogdad).

Keep doing what you're doing, putting yourself out there and staying positive. One day we're all going to be partying hard at your kick-ass wedding.

Yours truly,

~*~Lilly~*~ said...

Has it ever occurred to this "anon" takes one to know one? (childish i know)LOL Nothing wrong with bat shit crazy...but YOU GO GIRL!

If the person doesn't have enough balls to call you names under there real log-in - then i tell them to go F* themselves. :o)

& Just for the record i do not think your bat shit


sissy2 said...

people love hiding behind their computer screen and keyboard in order to let out their own frustrations because their own lives suck. that's what this loser did, obvs. i feel this way about any blog -- is a prime example -- people have nothing better to do with their lives than make other people feel bad about their own (even when there's no reason to feel bad about their own lives). but, you're right -- you're going to get shit like that when you have a blog and open your life up to other people -- and at least you acknowledged that. :) so long loser anonymous poster! get a life! and meet me by the willow tree at 2p so i can kick your ass b/c no one messes with my family! :)

Girl in Carolina said...

I do enough beating of myself up! I don't need others telling me that it's my fault. Nor do you! What a weirdo. You are not crazy friend. You just haven't met the right person. And boy are there a TON of us out there that are in the same big ole bat shit crazy boat as you! ;)

MG said...

All women are bat-shit crazy and all men are insensitive pricks...Anon is just inexperienced and has neither dated enough women to know that/had to deal with his own awful self either*

*cue moment on The Boss's "Dancing in the Dark"- "I check my look in the mirror, I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face, and i ain't get nowhere..."


Anonymous said...

IMHO, the real crazies are those who settle for losers because they are scared to be alone or have been brainwashed into thinking they must get married at a certain age.

As a friend likes to say, "I hate it when ignorant people mistake my intelligence for stupidity!"

Hang in there.


Anonymous said...

Mr. Right is searching high & low for you right now....just because he hasn't found you yet doesn't mean he isn't looking all over for you! He'll find you. And once he does....well....he'll be the luckiest guy in the world.

Anonymous said...

I don't know you that well, but the times I HAVE seen you out you have always seemed to be having so much fun. Anytime a guy friend is with me they also say how hot you are but that you probably wouldn't go out with them. Just so you know. :)

Tammy Green said...

You will thank me for showing you this post, which we then posted on the "Rants and Raves" of Craigslist and she will be posting the hilarious-and-violent responses she got shortly. Like this one...

hermosamusica said...

The person that wrote that you are bat shit crazy must be highly unintelligent and is obviously intimidated by quick witted, intelligent, opinionated, confident women.

So this NYT article is basically about the fact that women are becoming the breadwinners and that there are a lot of men out there that can't handle it (but there are some that can):

Then this article is about settling, I don't really agree with it, but it's interesting nonetheless:

Also, a update from me - I know I've supported online dating before - I met someone and canceled my membership :)'s still kind of new, but we'll see how it goes...

Simply Married said...

If bat shit crazy means you happen to be stunningly beautiful, driven, successful, the type of person who literally turns heads when she walks in a room, super witty, HILARIOUS, and one of the nicest people on this green Earth then SIGN ME UP! I want to be bat shit crazy too! It's easy to dish out the negative comments under the guise of being anonymous. Those people aren't even worth a second thought. Stick to your guns AAB (And keep up the blog)!

Mel said...

Oh how I loved getting those type of comments on my blog while I was single. These people are so bored that they are so enamored with reading about our awesome lives (and lurking at that), that they forgot to get his/her own life. Losers.

You, my dear, are awesome! Go back and read all my single exploits -- that should give you hope that you WILL eventually find someone, like I did.
You have to date a lot of weirdos until finally finding someone worthy. Don't settle. And don't let the bastards get you down! (I stole that last line from U2). :)

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Wow. Honestly, you guys. For once, I *may* actually be at a loss for words.

Thank you SO MUCH for all of your awesome comments. (And Craigslist links!)

Makes me realize that for every negative comment, there are plenty more like these to make up for it.

xoxo -- Always a Bridesmaid

Julesercise said...

I am proud to call myself crazy, but truthfully would consider that one way that we are NOT alike. That's annoying...and I think I may be PMSing the first time since the lil one was born and I SWEAR it has built up for the 12 months that I didn't PMS and is all coming on at I am actually fuming about this and so proud of you for taking it with a grain of salt.

Lincoln said...

This is my threshold for crazy as it relates to women:

Have you ever shoved a piece of paper down the pants of a random guy you've never even talked to while screaming "This is my number, you better not loose it!"?

If you've never done that I think you're probably safely out of the red zone for crazy, much less batshit crazy.

I think that also gave me the unreasonable expectation that women would make the first move if interested. That has not been the case (or I really am that uninteresting)

Allison M. said...

is now a bad time to tell you that was me??

hahaha, I kid, I kid.

AS said...

What are you looking for, anyway? If you were going to list 50 qualities of a mate, what would they be?

Anonymous said...

As someone that knows you irl and loves and admires you I think it's also important to point out that although this blog is about finding a man, your life is not. Bri and my lives are richer for knowing you and I feel sorry for anon because I doubt they have a you in their life. Looking forward to Saturday when we can further pity anon over several bottles of wine. js

Anonymous said...

I'll never understand why people leave mean comments. Seems like such a waste of time.

I haven't gotten many in the 293847 years I've been blogging. Probably because they know my reply to them (and most people who disagree with me) would be a simple, "Hey. Fuck you."

Which could factor into why *I* am single...

All Lacquered Up said...

Aren't people fun? You should see some of the nasty comments & emails I've received due to my blog. To those people that have nothing better to do than hate, I say F.U.!

I've only met you once but I've read this blog and followed you on Twitter for a while and I wouldn't call you bat shit crazy. Sounds like someone's just jealous.

Anonymous said...

Original "bat shit crazy" poster here. And I am not "desperate," I have been extraordinarily happily married for almost 13 years (thus, it is not weird if I post at 1:30 AM). After 13 years, it happens.

That said, You are correct that my comment was utterly inappropriate. The inappropriate comment, however, was brought on by 10 months of reading this blog. I lurked for 10 months (!), and I finally couldn't take it.

Look, if you are going to write a blog about looking for a man to marry, then you are going to have people commenting about the fact that desperation is leaking out of your pores. It is inevitable that some of us will eventually be mean spirited.

BUT, in reality, and in not a mean-spirited context, there is NO WAY that you are going to meet "him" as long as that is your goal.

GET AWAY from this goal, make your goals about YOURSELF. Learn to rockclimb, take up pilates, go to yoga, ride a bike, write an article (you are a great writer) that is NOT about finding a spouse. I don't care WHAT you do, bu make it about your SELF.

I guarantee that at the moment that you are so happy with your life that you have forgotten about finding Mr. "Complete Me," you will find him (or perhaps, actually, he will find you).

I apologize for the mean-spirited comment. But this blog, and its pretense, makes me crazy.

My 2 cents.

Amy Green @ Sweet Home Amy said...

Ha, I got one of these recently too. It sends you in spiral of emotions, but in reality, they don't know you at all, and are just venting their own anger out on you. People get annoyed that us bloggers have the right to say whatever we want, and so they try to fight back, to no avail. Just ignore this person, and keep doing your thing! :)

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Original Poster -- point taken. Perhaps what you *don't* understand is that while the focus of my blog is my dating exploits, it is most certainly *not* the focus of my day-to-day life.
But I can understand why you could have that impression. Clearly, my blog only documents the boy part of my life. But I'm very happy to tell you that it's not the sole purpose of my being.

I really am NOT desperate. If I were, I would have settled a long time ago.

Everyone else -- thanks again for the comments! Kisses!

hermosamusica said...

No offense to all you happily long time married/coupled up people out there that are open minded and know/remember what it was like to be a single 30-something. BUT, I just wanted to say that I think it totally figures that the original "Bat-Shit-crazy Anon-poster" has been happily married for 13 friggin years.

To Bat-shit-crazy-anon-poster:
I highly doubt you know/remember what it is like to be single, clock ticking, date after failed date, surrounded by many married, engaged, pregnant 30 something friends. IF, by the way, you were EVER single at age 30ish. So typical of someone like you to look down your nose off your high horse of 13 years in a marriage and tell someone who is 30ish and single to just get over it, pay it no attention. Much easier said than done. FYI: most people are fully capable of concentrating on themselves AND their mate, so, it isn't unreasonable to think that one can live a full life and still have plenty of time to pine over finding that special someone...And, by the way, you are obviously vicariously living through AAB's blog. Why else would you be reading it religiously? P'shaw.

alexa @clevelandsaplum said...

you are bat shit crazy.


i love you girly!!!

Random Musings said...

HATE anons....

Hate them...

Poly said... there's a post that got some seerious attention. I know you IRL and I almost never know what is going on in your dating life because you've got so many other things happening. The original "bat shit crazy poster" makes a good general point about dating- it's exactly what happened to me - but certainly he/she could have suggested so in a more loving way. Hope the poster doesn't speak to spouse that way or will be desperate soon and out in the dating world. Yikes.

Suburban Sweetheart said...

Listen, even the batshit crazy girls end up with batshit crazy guys eventually - or with guys whoa re totally willing to suffer through batshit for love.

What I'm saying is that even if you WERE batshit - which I really doubt - you're still worthy of love, and it'll come along one of these days. Here's hoping HE's not batshit, but... you know, that seems unlikely. <3

Cindi said...

You are totally NOT batshit crazy. Not even just plain crazy.