Monday, May 4, 2009

Apparently, I'm not good at making the first move


So I am in a bit of a conundrum. As you know from yesterday's post, The Hugger pulled the Always a Bridesmaid signature move by giving me his business card on Saturday nite, leaving the next "move" in my court.

(I'm still sort of pissed about it. That is my move, damnit!)

Anyhow, I didn't call tonite because I went to "cardio class" after work, got home around 8:15, ate some grub, then briefly entertained my sissy and her hubs, who left my condo around 9:30.

(Sorry for boring you with the details. I promise it was for a reason.)

Soooo... I wasn't free until 9:30ish. And I felt like that was a tad too late to call someone for a first call, no?

(Humor me if you think I'm being lame-o. Let's remember that I haven't had a lot of boy interactions lately and am a bit rusty.)

Anywhooo... so, I didn't call The Hugger tonite. And I won't be able to call him tomorrow because I'm going out for Cinco de Drinko dinner and drinks.

So, here are my options:

  • Wait to call him until Wednesday nite

  • Send him a short little email tomorrow (Tuesday) -- possibly even asking what he is doing for Cinco de Mayo?!?!

  • Shoot him a message through Facebook (we had joked about Facebook during our little convo on Saturday nite)

Now, I know I should just wait and call him because I am the one who is constantly bitching (to you!) about boys and dating in the digital age, and how they rely on texting and email instead of picking up the g.d. phone.

But I also don't want my lack of calling until Wednesday to be interpreted as me doing that stupid obligatory "wait 2 or 3 days" (or, in this case, four) to call rule. Or even worse: to be interpreted that I'm just not that into him.

See? I told you it was a conundrum. What would you guys do?

28 comments:

Smash said...

Don't do email or Facebook... that gives him the cue he is allowed to do that back to you in the future and you deserve a call damnit! haha.

Can you call him between work and going out? You can call ask how he is doing, etc but say you don't have much time to chat because you are so awesome (ok so don't say that cuz it sounds cocky), but that you would like to get together sometime later in the week.

That way you 1. set the ground rule that CALLING is the way to go - no texting, no emails, and no Facebook. and 2. it shows even though you are a busy popular gal, you are interested enough to squeeze him in. and 3. it shows you are a busy popular girl who deserves someone fabulous so he is expected to step up to the plate.

And men wonder why women are complicated - I think making a phone call can convey ALL of that!

Megan said...

I totally e-mail tomorrow, and preface by apologizing for e-mailing or explaining. Like say "I hope you don't mind me e-mailing you. I wanted to call you but I've been busy the past few nights." or "I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to call you, but the past couple evenings have been busy. I have plans to go out for cinco de mayo tonight, so I figured I would send you a note today."

TexasLauren77 said...

I don't know why, but for some reason, my gut is saying he should have asked you for your number. But, what do I know... I'm single, too.

And, yeah...I agree...the digital thing is kind of lame. In my experience it has never resulted in anything good.

Basically, I'm no help...maybe the married folk would like to chime in here!

Lippe said...

Definitely call - it will set the tone for future interaction with him.

Here's a little something I think you'd like: I was in my garage yesterday afternoon and have seen a cute boy getting into his car a few times and we always check eachother out, but never talk. I decided to be bold and left a note on his car later that night saying "Cute dog!! I'm the girl with the black C300. We should grab drinks sometime...216-xxx-xxxx, -my name". Sooo ballsy, I know! But, no response yet! Problem is, he *might* be gay!

P.S. - I love your blog! I am one of Alexa and Moira's friends

Anonymous said...

DO NOT EMAIL OR TEXT OR FB!!!! A call. A simple call will do the trick! And will set the tone that you're not into having a FB, Email or Texting relationship from the start!

Just call him on your way home tonight. DONE.

And no, Grandma....9:30 pm is not to late to call a single guy! :)

Love & Kisses - MAR

Chuck said...

you can't call him during the day? You obviously have his work number, and probably his cell. Just call him during the day today.

By the way, I don't think 9:30 is that late...unless you're 75 years old.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Wow! Thanks, everyone. I think I'll try to give him a buzz on my way to my after-work dinner tonite.

MG said...

the joy of you making the move on him is that men don't care about rules, we just follow them for women's sake (cuz when we don't, usually things don't go as we'd prefer). If he's into you, he won't care at all about the timing, medium, etc....do what you feel (with style).

MG

Allison M. said...

If you are interested in jumping his bones, I would call him. Don't wait that two day stuff. or do. what do I know anyway?

Anonymous said...

I would call. I have this strong philosophy about phone calls. Usually I am talking about guys, but in this situation we can use you. If you are into someone one, you will find time to call them--no matter how busy you are. The "I was just too busy" excuse sounds like you're not interested. I agree with Smash. Call him in between work and going out. It shows that your interested in talking to him even in the midst of your busy (and fabulous) life.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i saw call for sure.

i mean where has the FB gotten us in the past ya know?

Carrie said...

I'm laughing out loud at the "grandma" comment by MAR. That's the pot calling the kettle! UMMM....did she forget we used to call her "gramps"? hilarious.

call him. my gut is telling me if you invite him out for cinco drinko, he'll show.

xo,
chill

Christina K said...

Call him on our way out tonite and ask if he has Cinco de Drinko plans. If he doesn't (or does), see if he wants to meet up with us after dinner. Done!

blogmom said...

I'm glad I'm old. So many rules/options these days - much easier back in the 60's (reference to a previous AAB blog comment - however, for me, it's true). We had no other means of communicating BUT calling. Sometimes the old ways are still the best. Good luck.

Julesercise said...

Are you really even posing this question? You KNOW you will be setting an 'electronic communication' standard if you email or text. CALL HIM. You could even call him on your way home from Cinco festivities; you will have had some drinks and will be funnier, flirtier, and perhaps will ask him for a booty call. LOL

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Ummm, blogmom -- please note that it is your pregs daughter who is suggesting that I make a booty call tonite. Nice. I TOLD you that you should have stopped having kids after me. :)

blogmom said...

We'll see how Julesercise feels about booty calls in about 18 years! No booty call, just a phone call.

If we would have stopped after you, who would make inappropriate comments on your blog:)

Anonymous said...

Call him, Don't facebook him... remember what happened last time.

Anonymous said...

CALL HIM, Dammit! Too much drama

Love,
Blogdad

slopmaster said...

I say you email him, let him know you thought about him, but have been too busy to give him a call. Hope he’s doing well and that it was nice to meet him. Ball in his court. If he’s too much of a pussy to do anything about it then you don’t want him.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Thanks for the advice, everyone! I did call him on my way to dinner last nite... and got his voicemail, natch. :)

MG said...

Glad to hear you called. He'll call back.

I'm still going on the overall philosophy that if he likes you he'll rise up and whatever medium of communication would be temporary...I'd personally have maybe preferred facebook or text for a first round contact. BUT, after a text or two i'd probably get impatient and just call to take care of business OR, would just get about making in-person contact faster...i know a lot of guys who prefer either in person or electronic because if it's not in person, it's not that personal anyway...

If he was sincere about you calling him, he'll call back and more importantly, you'll see each other in person again and really from there the everything else will play itself out accordingly.

out of curiosity, as I see people encouraging you to avoid facebook, email, or text, if you see someone frequently, do you still want to talk on the phone much? I don't think they're wrong per say, but DO think the whole concept that if he's interested, he's going to show interest in a suitable way inevitably regardless of initial medium of contact...

Always a Bridesmaid said...

MG - no, I don't think you need to talk on the phone a lot once you start seeing each other pretty regularly. However, digital communications is NOT the way to start to get to know someone new... hence, everyone's suggestion to try personal contact first. (BTW, I agree with them.)

Chuck said...

I’m just posting a comment so I can see my name in lights. I know the conversation is over, but I figured I’d get myself some more air time.

ashley.star said...

Now I'm dying of anticipation!

I want to know what will happppenn! :)

j. said...

..And just as important, (as we kick off the summer social season in C-town), how was your Cinco de Mayo, AAB? (A group of us did girls' night at Momocho-- yum!)

Always a Bridesmaid said...

J - Cinco de Drinko was fun. Though we all behaved ourselves. And, I was at Momocho too! (from 6-8ish)

MG said...

whoa. i went to Momocho about 11. i guess that was the place to be...