Do you think he texts in prescriptions too?

After learning from blogdad that he had given my number to The Doctor last week, I honestly wasn't expecting to hear from him.

But I did.

This afternoon.

Via text.

The message:

Hi, Always a Bridesmaid. Your dad stopped by my office with a beautiful picture of you and your parents along with your number...

Um... I'm not even sure what to do with this. On one hand, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt with this whole texting business. Maybe he's really shy. Or maybe he's trying to put feelers out to see if I respond before he calls so as to avoid rejection.

On the other hand... seriously?!?!? Your first outreach is via text? And not even a, "Hi, this is The Doctor. Blah blah blah." What did men do prior to texting? Ugh. I am really not feeling the initial text outreach.

However, since I just declared this month Manhunt March (see post below), I will respond. The problem is, I have to text back because I don't remember his first name (it's written on a piece of paper in my office) since I can't really call him and say, "Hey, you. It's Always a Bridesmaid."

I swear, only me. Ugh.

I see London, I see France...

... man, I need new underpants.

OK, so I have a weird post-breakup ritual that I always go through: I give my undie drawer a makeover.

I did a major purge/splurge after I broke up with The Mush Mouth. (A 2+ year relationship.)

I did the same thing after The Murse. (A 6+ year relationship.)

And again (albeit on a smaller scale) after The Divorcee. (An on/off fling for about 10 months or so. Hence the smaller shopping spree.)

Honestly, I have no idea why I do it. Maybe it's because it's a little something I can do as a pick-me-up that only I know about. (Well, until I blabbed it to all of you guys, that is.)

And doesn't everyone feel better about themselves when they're wearing cute undies versus raggedy old torn ones? (Don't get me wrong. It's not like I'm buying sexy satin thongs or crotchless lace g-strings. Nope, I'm pretty much a boy shorts and cotton bikinis kind of girl.)

My point is this: I realized today (after noticing the ripped trim on one of my fave pairs) that it has been so long since I've had a major break-up that I really just need to go buy some new undies. Without the requisite heartbreak that goes along with it.

Lucky for me, my birthday is coming up. So I at least have a birthday coupon from Victoria's Secret to get me started.

How about you? What rituals do you have after a breakup?

Getting nailed

No, not in that way, you sickos. I'm literally talking about my nails. And my sweet little manicurist, Anthony.

Anth is a 19-year-old student who works at his mother's Rocky River nail salon during his off school times (along with some of his other siblings) and he has been "my" nail guy for the past two or so years.

After jazzerci... I mean... cardio class tonite, I checked my phone and had a text from Anth (yes, we have each other's numbers... you never know when you might need an emergency nail appointment!). He just wanted to check in to say hi (actually, he said, "Hey, what's up darling?") because I didn't make it in last Saturday.

(Yes, I get a manicure every week. It is my little $20 splurge. I don't go out to fancy dinners that much anymore (no one to go with!) and I don't buy $300 jeans, so I figure a weekly manicure is legit.)

Anyhow, the reason for the post is this: I realized tonite that Anthony has been the most steady male relationship I have had in my life for the past couple of years (not counting blogdad or my bros-in-law, of course).

I'm not sure if that's sad or sweet.

What I do know is that I need to wrap up this post so I can go wrap up Anthony's Christmas present. (Is that weird?) I just hope I can still master the scissors with these talons at the tips of my fingers right now.

Ex- sighting!

So, my friends all tell me that they've never met someone who runs into their ex-BFs as often as I do. And I'm starting to agree.

THE LOCATION: Einstein Bros. Bagels in Rocky River

THE EX: The Mush Mouth (college BF)

THE SCENE: Was waiting in line for my "everything bagel" and heard someone call my name. Turned around to see The Mush Mouth sitting at a table with his three-year-old son (who is adorable, BTW). Went over to say hi and ended up talking for about 20 minutes. We got caught up on each others' lives since the last time we ran into each other (about a year ago), laughed about old times (including the time that I accidentally barfed on his roomie's desk chair b/c I was so drunk I thought it was a toilet). In general, it was really nice to catch up. And as I was walking away, he yelled "You look great, by the way."

THE LESSON: Never leave the house looking like a pig. You never know what ex -- or future -- BF you might run into.

Ironically enough, I had stopped into Einstein on my way... you guessed it... to pick up another bridesmaid dress.

Just getting started...

I've been threatening to start a blog about my dating life for some time now, and a recent first date moved me into action. I kid you not, the guy asked me who my gyno was over dinner. (It should be noted that he sold lady part medical supplies for a living, but STILL. He asked me about my hoo-hah over a cured meat plate appetizer!!)

Does this stuff happen to anyone other than me?!?!?

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy my sometimes fun, sometimes bad, but always entertaining dating stories. And when I get a book or movie deal out of this crap, I promise not to forget the little people. :)