Thursday, September 23, 2010

Take a hint!

Several weeks ago, I got a return visit from a blast from the past: The Groundhog. And, dear readers, it seems as if I was spot-on when I gave him that nickname.

Why? Because that mother effer ALWAYS pops up.

It started with an email from him, which simply stated that he had been cleaning out his emails and came across one from me from a couple of years ago, and that he just wanted to touch base.

I had no intention of responding.

But then he called. TEN MINUTES AFTER HE SENT THE EMAIL.

(Psycho much?)

His voicemail expanded on his email, and then also alluded to the fact that the last time he reached out to me, I didn't respond. And it's true. I documented it here, peeps.

(Please note the date of that last non-correspondence too. Almost two years ago!)

Anyhow, after remembering that this was the kind of guy who would not give up if I just ignored him (as evidenced by that two-year-old post I just linked to, which was par for the course with The Groundhog), I emailed him back the next morning. I was cordial enough, but told him that I was dating someone now... and then also reminded him that he had tried to (or did) date not one, not two, but THREE of my girlfriends over the years.

Now, I know what you're thinking... why was AAB being such a bitch to a guy who was seemingly just trying to catch up? Aaaaaah, innocent readers. You see, this guy ALWAYS had ulterior motives. (You can ask any of the three of my friends he tried dating.) So I knew I had to nip it in the bud or he would keep popping up, as only a good -- errr, bad -- groundhog would do.

(FWIW, when we were "talking," our regular conversations consisted of the following topics: how women should always -- and only -- wear thong underwear; how he broke up with a girlfriend for getting fat; what inappropriate places he would get romantic with his ex-GFs; how women only ever wanted to date him for his money; or how he thought he was the funniest person alive. Riiiiiiight. So now you know why I wasn't interested in dating him.)

I won't get into the nitty gritty of the few emails that flew back and forth, but I will tell you these phrases may or may not have been used (by him): "I certainly didn't reach out to be insulted"; "You're catching me off guard"; and my personal fave, "You are a ball buster."

Suffice to say I don't think I'll have to worry about The Groundhog popping up any time soon. :)

Have you ever dated a guy who just wouldn't go away?

13 comments:

Beth said...

YES! In fact, he texted me last night to see how I was. This happens every couple of months. Sometimes I respond and sometimes I don't, most of the time saying I'm fine, I was fine before you and I am fine after you. I have been overly nice and not so nice, but he keeps coming back. Why do they feel the need to do this? It is so frustrating! Move on already, I have.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

what a sticky booger!!

Anonymous said...

F him (not really)

Blogdad

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Beth -- seriously, right? The weirdest thing (which I forgot to mention) is that I only actually went out with this guy ONE TIME. (I had met him a couple of times before that.)

Alexa -- I'm sort of grossed out by that analogy, but I'm feeling ya.

Blogdad -- OMG. ha ha!

Beautifully Invisible said...

What a great nickname.

I almost laughed out loud when I read this, because almost the exact same thing happened to me recently. A guy I used to date ages ago emailed me. At work. Then, when I didn't respond, he called the same day. At work.

I work someplace different now than I did when we date. Freaky.

Maybe they are related.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Beautifully -- Wait... he tracked you down at a NEW place? That's even creepier than my story!

Lizzie said...

This is tricky. I do a lot of online dating so I get a lot of clingers. It's one way or the other - they either completely ignore you or won't go away :).

sweethomeamy said...

What a freak!

And to Beautifully - WOW!! That's creepy! Eek!

Suburban Sweetheart said...

Sounds like you did an effective job of ousting him from your life. Mazel tov!

Chill said...

UGH!!!!! I hate that guy.....but I most certainly LOVE Blogdad!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

He stikes again!

MAR

PJ said...

Nitty gritty my a$$! Let's see those emails, ball buster!

MG said...

ah yes, the paradox of a woman wanting a man to be confident, persistent, and endlessly devoted to her, but only if it's the guy she wants...anyone else is annoying, creepy, and pathetic.

but seriously though, this guy sounds lame and touching base is a poor analogy for sex, considered how much its used by lower-rung salesmen.