A Dear John letter to 2009

Dear 2009 Dating Life,

It's not you, it's me.

Actually, check that.

It is you. What a crappy year you've been to me.

You were all about you, weren't you? First you brought me some major dating (and blog) dramz; then a boy who is pretty much everything I look for in a guy -- but who lives out of town; then a guy who couldn't form a sentence and one who couldn't form a memory; and just a general lack of activity on the dating front.

So, it's over. I don't want to hear from you again. Or see you again. Don't bother sending me letters or flowers or calling to try to win me back like some other ex-BFs have done.

I'm moving on to bigger and better. His name is 2010. And no matter what he's like, he'll never treat me as badly as you did.

So, see ya, 2009. And good riddance.

From here on out, it's all about 2010: The Year of Good Men.

xoxo (but not really) --

Always a Bridesmaid

P.S. I'm not really a bitter SOB, readers. You know that. I'm just REALLY looking forward to getting this year behind me. Thanks for coming along for the ride... and for keeping me sane in the process. Smooches to you! I hope we don't break up too. :) Happy new year!

No hottie under the tree...

... but I did get a pretty rocking set of new pots and pans.

(Since I've never had a wedding shower, I was in dire need of new cookware. The cheap stuff I had for my first apartment -- circa 1998 -- just wasn't cutting it anymore.)

Here's hoping the new Calphalon is an indication that my love life will start cookin' in 2010 too. :)

Was Santa good to you?

Working on my letter to St. Nick

Remember last year how blogmom and blogdad discovered that St. Nicholas is actually the patron saint of single women?

Well, apparently jolly old St. Nicholas isn't happy with telepathic requests. Guess he actually wants me to write an honest-to-goodness letter to Santa before he brings me my Prince Charming.

So, no bullshitting. I'm totes writing a letter to St. Nick this year and tucking it away in a safe place. Then I'm gonna pull it out next Christmas to see if he brought me something (or someone) that matches what's on my list.

Help me get started. What should I make sure I don't forget? I only have a few days to get this right...

Why Being Single at the Holidays Ain't a Bowl of Cherries

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about how being single at the holidays ain't all that bad.

Then I promised to write a follow-up about how it ain't so great, either.

But you know what? I'm not going to.

Because I'm already sorta quasi-depressed over being single YET AGAIN at the holidays. And if I write a post about it, it may just throw me over the edge into total Scroogedom.

Instead, I think I may just order myself one of these and hope it brings me a little elf of my own this Christmas. Eff you, Scrooge. (Actually, Scrooge McDuck.) I don't need your bad attitude rubbing off on me this year.

"This kid is really moving mountains!"

(Note: Above was an actual quote out of my sissy's mouth last nite.)

I've written here before about how blogmom is like a Cyber McGyver. Well, apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

After telling my sissies about a boy who I was chatting with following the Browns' victory last week (shocking!), my middle sis was obsessed with finding out more about him.

(BTW, when I said "shocking," I was referring to both the Browns' win as well as the fact that a cute boy would actually talk to me while I was so bundled up for the game that I looked like the stay-puff marshmallow man.)

Anyhow, the only things I knew about him were:

• his first name


• what he did for a living (vaguely)


• that he was a good kisser (OK, so *maybe* I smooched him a little to celebrate the win -- so sue me!)

But, literally. That was ALL I KNEW. But within five minutes of cyberstalking (as I was in the other room holding my sweet little nugget nephew and watching The Sing Off), my sis had found him online. (And not by Googling "random boy who smooched my sis after the Browns game.")

I think sissy might really have a potential career in pre-screening guys for single girls. (Myself included.) Within mere minutes, she found:

• his last name


• where he works (which is when she said the quote that appears as the title of this post and told me he was gonna make a lot of money someday)


• pictures of him (to which she suggested he might want to consider teeth whitening and never growing a beard again)


• his profiles on social networks


• several articles he was featured in

I couldn't help but giggle at her research prowess. I mean, seriously. She only had his first name (which is very common) and a general idea of what he did for a living (which is admittedly less common -- but still) to go on. And she was soooooooooo excited when she found him.

(In fact, she was so excited that I didn't have the heart to tell her right away that I had his phone number and that we'd actually already talked.)

So it appears that sissy may have a potential new career... and that I may have a potential new target for Holidating!

P.S. Don't worry, blogdad. The Browns were the only ones who scored that nite. ;)

Another pseudo break-up

Remember when I broke up with my hairdresser several months ago?

I had another breakup this weekend. But this time I was the dumpee.

My manicurist left me. For that "other woman" known as college.

When we were saying goodbye, Anth gave me a big bear hug and said he'd miss me and would let me know when he's back in town. And I almost started crying.

(And it wasn't just because my jeans are all currently so tight that they're literally making me want to cry.)

In retrospect, I think the welling up was because Anthony has been the most consistent man in my life for the past several years.

(Is that sad or sweet? I still haven't decided.)

Every week when I'd see Anthony, he was excited to see me. He'd call me pet names. Tell me how pretty I looked. Compliment a new sweater. Ask about my family and friends. Write "I heart U” in lotion.

(And, no, I did not pay extra for that.)

But now he's gone. So I'm hoping the cosmos decides to do its thing and replace the one consistent guy in my life with another (but this time, one in the form of a boyfriend).

Are you listening, cosmos? I need a new guy in my life. Cuz mama's got really pretty hands just waiting to show off a ring someday soon.

Six degrees: take 3 (this week)

While out to lunch with a colleague this week, I ran into HGE.

(Living up to his name as Hottest Guy Ever, BTW.)

This whole six degrees thing is just getting a little ridic now, no? Is the universe trying to send me a message?

(I sure hope it's something like, "AAB, there's a hottie in your future!")

P.S. As it turns out, I knew one of the girls who was lunching with HGE. She called me this morning to find out if I knew what his story was because she and her friend couldn't figure out if he liked boys or girls. See?!?! It's not just me.