Not-so-great textpectations

What is up with creepy text stalkers? My friend at work received two very odd, very panic-inducing text messages yesterday. The sender of said messages was "1234" (not a real phone number).

Here's what they said:

• HELLO..... (received at 1:57 p.m.)


• [friend's name] (received at 1:58 p.m.)

My friend (who shall remain nameless here so at least I can't feel culpable if someone does end up hunting her down and chopping her into pieces) responded to the messages with, "I'm sorry, but who is this?" She then got a bounce-back that said, "The recipient you are sending to has chosen not to receive messages."

WTH?!?!?

This little scenario reminded me of my incident with The Creepy Texter last November.

(To this day, I have never worn that blouse... er, shirt... again.)

I mean, who does this?!?! (And, more importantly, can he/she show me how to do it so I can cyberstalk hotties myself?!?! Ha!)

Has this ever happened to any of you guys? Or do my colleague and I just have the propensity to attract creepy dudes?

(Wait, on second thought... don't answer that...)

OK, this is just getting embarrassing now

I received a package at work this week asking me to be auctioned off in a bachelor/bachelorette event to benefit a local nonprofit.

Apparently, I have become Cleveland's poster child for "eligible singles" opportunities.

First, there was the Cleveland Magazine "20 Sexy Singles" article a couple of years ago.

Then there was the Plain Dealer article earlier this year about Cleveland's most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes.

And now, THIS request. How have I suddenly become the go-to bachelorette for these things?

And I'm not writing to brag about being picked for this stuff. I promise you -- I really am not.

In fact, I find them rather embarrassing. On one hand, it is flattering to be nominated (albeit by sisters/parents/friends who just want to see me coupled up already) and featured in "hot singles" lists. (If George Clooney can do it, why can't I?)

On the other, it is sort of demoralizing to be the chic who keeps getting picked for these things because everyone thinks you're a great catch -- but, still, you somehow manage to stay single. I'm like the freaking Cameron Diaz of Cleveland! (OK... not quite... but a girl can dream, no?)

Long story short: both times I've done these "singles" articles, it hasn't worked out AT ALL. Picked up a couple of Creepy McCreepertons, reconnected with a couple of high school friends and ended up with a couple of random pseudo-stalkers. (Check out my posts about The Murse 2.)

And to be perfectly honest, I don't think I can put myself through that humiliation again. (Looks sort of desperate to keep popping up in these things, no?)

So instead of raffling myself off, I'm going to support the charity by writing a check... and keeping my dignity.

(Which could be my safest option anyhow, since I still don't know who The Creepy Texter is!)

Strange encounters of the digital kind

I have had some STRANGE encounters of the digital kind over the past several weeks.

First, there was the guy who Facebook friended me who I didn't know.

Here's how it went down: my friend Amy at work sent a pic of a bunch of us to her hubby; her hubby showed the pic to his friend from work; the friend from work (the guy who I'm talking about -- we'll call him The Engineer) claimed he knew me, and asked Amy's husband a zillion questions about me.

Weeks later, The Engineer Facebook friended me. Mind you, I still have NO IDEA who this guy is at this point (and, actually, still don't). When I didn't immediately accept his friend request, he asked Amy's hubby why I hadn't accepted him yet. So, I hit "confirm" just to get it over and done with already.

Of course, because I don't know him, I never sent a message or anything after accepting his friend request. A couple of weeks later, The Engineer wrote on my wall and just said, "I can't believe you haven't said hello yet." WTF? I don't even KNOW you. And if you wanted to get to know me so badly, why wouldn't YOU say something first?

Since then, he has sent me a couple other messages (commenting on status updates, my Halloween costume, etc.). And he's also apparently told Amy's husband that he can't understand why I haven't asked him out yet.

Gee, I wonder.

Then, I got a much creepier message.

This time, I received a text message from someone who wasn't in my phone. The sender's address was "HI." Like, whoever sent me the message purposely overwrote their phone number so I couldn't see it, then replaced it with "HI." And so was born The Creepy Texter.

Then I read the message: "Always a Bridesmaid! You are dressed nice today. Love that blouse!"

A few things to comment on:

• The Creepy Texter knew my name. And purposely didn't want me to know his (or hers???).


• The Creepy Texter HAD to have seen me that day. I know, I know. You could say that anyone could guess I was wearing a blouse based on what most girls wear to work. But the truth is, I was wearing a very obvious blouse. One that you WOULD comment on. Not just a plain blue shirt or something. And how did he know I wasn't wearing a sweater or a dress?


• The Creepy Texter used the word "blouse." That in and of itself is creepy. What boy says "blouse?"

After fearing for the entire weekend that I was going to be chopped up into little pieces, I decided (and still HOPE) this was just someone I know playing a prank on me.

But, whoever it was has good taste. I do look cute in that blouse. :)