A confession

OK, so I admit it.

I haven't done one of the things I was supposed to do in YESvember.

You know, that thing you guys all voted on.

I've been putting it off. (And dreading it, really.) And then I realized today is the last day of the month.

Crap.

But I have PMS. I am totes in Crabville, USA today. Population: Me.

So it's gonna have to wait. Because I'm pretty sure the profile I'd write right about now would only attract serial killers, EMO-sensitive types or just generally creepy creepertons. So, bear with me. Pleaseandthankyou.

In the meantime... it's time to name December's dating adventures!! Whaddya got for me?

Send the boys my way (even tho I don't know what way that is)

As you may recall from last week, I was supposed to have two GNOs last weekend. Until I got a killer headache on Saturday and had a date with my couch that nite instead.

So I'm making up that GNO tonite with my friend Slim.

(Who, BTW, is like 5'agazillion", super fit, blonde and beautiful. You know. The kind of friend you really want to hate except you like her too much. My 5'2" ass feels like a troll when I go out with this chic.)

Anyhooo, I'm not sure where we're off to yet. As you know, it's YESvember, which means I am just getting bossed around and doing whatever I'm told.

(Which Slim said should really make it NODvember. As in, I just nod and do whatever she says. I like it.)

Have a great weekend, everyone! Please send all the cute eligible men to... well... wherever Slim and I end up! :)

I'm a yes (wo)man

Where will YESvember take me? The truthful answer is, I have no idea.

What I mean is that I've decided (as did those of you who voted "go east!" in the poll) that I probably frequent the same places too often. I'm like an old dog. Except I don't hump people's legs.

(Ahem.)

Anywhoooo... for the month of YESvember, whenever I have plans with someone, I am going to make THEM decide where we're going.

(It's killing me a little bit inside every time I give up that control.)

I've already got two GNO outings planned for this weekend, so I will be very interested to see where the nite(s) take me (and my cute, fun, single girlfriends!).

Do you have suggestions for where we should go? Make sure to comment on this post, since my partners in crime read the blog and just might take you up on your ideas!

Taking the advice of blogmom...

... and not going to say much of anything about my visit with Mr. X this weekend.

(See? Even at 33 years old, I sometimes do still listen to my parents.)

So I'll just leave you with this:

Welcome to YESvember, peeps!

Sissyversary

Three years ago today, I was honored to serve as co-maid of honor in my youngest sissy's wedding. I hadn't been in a wedding for a couple of years prior to that, so sissy's wedding was really the first in my series of many, many bridesmaid endeavors.

Some highlights I remember from that day:

• Blogmom and sissy comparing bicep muscles during 40% of the morning "getting ready" routine


• Sissy claiming she wanted to walk down the aisle to Back That Thang Up (yep, we're definitely related)


• The bridesmaids escorting sissy into church under cover of a giant sheet because the weather gods were frowning on us that day (even AFTER we threw a rosary in the tree, an old Italian ritual to ward off bad weather on your wedding day). Luckily, my wedding day survival kit included enough babushkas to strap onto each bridesmaid's head so no one looked like they'd just gone through Armageddon.


• Our middle sis getting so drunk at the reception that she was laying on her stomach on the wet dirty dance floor -- in her bridesmaid dress -- pretending to surf


• My bro-in-law (the groom) having one of the bartenders "removed" from the reception because he didn't like the guy's attitude (he was sent down the hall to work the bar at the Italian American beauty pageant instead)


• Blogdad exchanging glowsticks (in a very embarrassing manner, FYI) with one of my sissy's friends while they both broke it down on the dance floor

Aaaaand, so went the first of the sissies to get hitched.

Hard to believe that in the past three years, both of my younger sissies have gotten married, bought houses and gotten pregs.

And, well... I'm still single.

But Cocktober isn't over just yet, ladies and gents, so you never know!

I mean, Mr. Future Always a Bridesmaid could be lurking right around the corner... at the Halloween bash I'm going to on Friday nite... or in that other city I'm going to visit someone in on Saturday... or on the Love Interwebs you're all subjecting me to in YESvember...

What do you think? Are you feeling a love connection happening for me sometime soon?

(Please humor me and say yes.)

Love at first click?

The votes have been tallied for YESvember, and the results are in:

• match.com (or some other online dating service): 35%


• go East! (do the same stuff, but across town): 33%


• blogparents.com (like eHarmony, but blogmom and blogdad do the matching); 19%


• Jump Back Ball (where a few of my friends have met their BFs/fiancees): 11%

I'm not sure how I feel about the results. I really am veeerrrryyyy leery of online dating, given the horrific experiences most of my friends have had.

(I realize that there are a few good stories mixed in there too. But for every "good" story, I hear about 20 bad ones. You do the math.)

But, in the spirit of YESvember, I will try it out for at least a couple of weeks next month. But I swear to God, if any guy emails me who has a profile pic wearing an Affliction t-shirt (or, worse, no shirt at all) and uses some corny-ass pick-up line in his profile and/or a message to me, that's grounds to quit the service ON. THE. SPOT.

(In case you're wondering, my profile pic will neither show me in an Affliction shirt nor shirtless.)

So since I've never done this before, any suggestions for which service is best?

Fugly is as fugly does

My friend Amy sent me this list of the Eight Cities with the Ugliest Guys.

Is your city on the list?

(Thankfully, Cleveland isn't!)

(I mean, seriously. For once CLE didn't make one of these horrible lists!! YEAH!!!)

So, now that we've determined I won't be going out with some ugly dude... how will I meet the future Mr. Always a Bridesmaid in YESvember?

Don't forget to cast your vote! The polls close Friday.

(Unless you plan to vote for blogparents.com, in which case the polls are already closed. Because God knows I don't need that one to win.)

Time to vote for Issue Me

Thanks to the great suggestions from all of you, we've now got a ballot for you to vote on. (Let's hope there isn't as much debate over Issue Me as there has been in Ohio about Issue 3.)

I've included below the four ideas that I liked best from all of the comments you guys had on my post asking for new ideas to meet boys.

(That's not to say that I didn't like all of the ideas. But going on the radio to get a date holds too much potential for being very publicly "outed" as myself. And moving is a giant commitment -- what if my luck is just as bad in my new city? And while I love you, Allison, I'm not quite sure WHAT the hell you were talking about when suggesting pecan crusted bacon as a solution to my love life.)

Anyhooo, without further ado, here are the four options up for vote:

• GO EAST. This means doing the same things I normally do, just in places I don't normally do them. Specifically, on the east side. I have to admit there is some merit in this one, as I was at a Starbucks on the east side a couple of months ago for a work meeting and there were some hottie patotties there. I really like this idea because I wouldn't be too far out of my comfort zone (as in, I'd be doing things I'd normally do -- just in a different locale), so I'd be more likely to be myself. (Versus if I tried joining an effing intramural sports league, in which case I would so totally not be myself.)


• BLOGPARENTS.COM. If you read all of the suggestions, you saw that blogmom and blogdad have the idea that they can find me true love if given the chance. The gist is that they'll set me up on one date per week for the entire month of YESvember, with the following caveats: 1. no refusal 2. no backtalk 3. no grief. While this sounds fun in theory (and would most certainly contribute a blog story or seventy), I worry that this could cause some weirdness if the dates go horribly awry. And seeing as I've got nowhere else to go come holiday time, I'd prefer to stay on decent terms with blogmom/blogdad.


• MATCH.COM. Lots of you suggested trying out online dating. To be honest, I've thought about it before, but any time I've gone on to even peruse, I know waaaaaaay too many of the guys (friends, clients, peeps who work in my field, etc.) for it to be an option. HOWEVER, one of my anonymous commenters (who said the nicest things to me, BTW -- love you, whoever you are!!) said that you can make a match profile hidden. So if this is the winning option, that's the route I would go. (To protect myself from creepy stalkers, guys I already know, and possibly you!)


• JUMP BACK BALL. This was another suggestion from an anonymous commenter, and I really like it. Like the commenter, I know a couple of... well... couples who met at this yearly fundraiser for PlayhouseSquare. (And, in fact, one of those couples just got engaged!) Plus, it would give me a good excuse to go shopping for a new dress. (On the east side, natch.) The event isn't until February (I think), but in keeping with YESvember, I will buy my ticket next month to ensure I go.

So whaddya think? You've got til Friday to vote for your fave. Head on over to the top left of the page and cast your vote!

And, if you want to campaign for a specific idea, make sure to leave a note on this post. Consider the comments section your town hall meeting!

In the meantime, I am working on some other plans of my own. Still trying to figure out if I can pull off the mixer before people get crazy with holiday commitments. And, there may or may not be a trip to visit Mr. X in the next couple of weeks too.

Stay tuned!

Happy belated boss' day!

Don't forget to lob in your suggestions for YESvember and boss me around for once. I'm taking your ideas til midnite tonite.

Voting on the ideas will start next week!

(But don't worry. I haven't gone completely insane. Some of the more out-there ideas -- such as moving -- may not make the cut. I'll still always be the ultimate boss of me.)

XOXO -
AAB/The Boss

Suck-it Day

Saturday is Sweetest Day. And I'll be at a little girl's birthday party.

(Not that she's not sweet. In fact, I wish the guys I've dated got excited as she does to see me.)

But the point is that I'll be celebrating with a 6-year-old instead of on a date with a sweetie.

(Sidenote: I just accidentally typed "sweetit" instead of "sweetie." And then I giggled.)

So, in the hopes that I will have someone to celebrate Sweetest Day with next year (even if it is a made-up holiday that only about 1/100th of the country celebrates), don't forget to lob in your suggestions for YESvember. (And thanks to those of you who already did. Some good feedback so far!)

Next week, I'll be putting the ideas to a vote for all of you. And I am officially frightened to see the results. (Especially if the blogparents.com dating service idea wins.)

Now go out there and buy your sweetie some of these. I'll take the leftovers. (Of the strawberries, not your significant others.)

Boss me around

Yes, you read that headline correctly.

Don't get used to it. You won't hear it come out of my mouth (or my fingertips) ever again.

But I decided that starting in November (since Cocktober is going so swimmingly in the dating department), I am going to accept tips/suggestions/bossing-arounds from readers to help me break out of my comfort zone and put me in situations where I will likely meet new people.

(Not simply to make me look like a jackass. Though that will probably happen anyhow.)

Places to go. (Specific restaurants/bars? Bookstores? etc.) Things to do. (Sporting events? Wine tastings? Pottery classes? etc.) People to meet. (If so, WHO? And why haven't you introduced me to him sooner!?!?)

Anyhow, you catch my drift.

Whaddya say? Put on your thinking caps. Email me or comment on this post with your idea for how I might meet the future Mr. AAB. (One per reader, please.) I'll pick my favorites and put them up for a vote here the last week of October, then you guys can decide which ones I have to follow through with.

Because it's not about November. It's all about YESvember.

Brainstorm away! :)