Yes, you read that headline correctly.
Don't get used to it. You won't hear it come out of my mouth (or my fingertips) ever again.
But I decided that starting in November (since Cocktober is going so swimmingly in the dating department), I am going to accept tips/suggestions/bossing-arounds from readers to help me break out of my comfort zone and put me in situations where I will likely meet new people.
(Not simply to make me look like a jackass. Though that will probably happen anyhow.)
Places to go. (Specific restaurants/bars? Bookstores? etc.) Things to do. (Sporting events? Wine tastings? Pottery classes? etc.) People to meet. (If so, WHO? And why haven't you introduced me to him sooner!?!?)
Anyhow, you catch my drift.
Whaddya say? Put on your thinking caps. Email me or comment on this post with your idea for how I might meet the future Mr. AAB. (One per reader, please.) I'll pick my favorites and put them up for a vote here the last week of October, then you guys can decide which ones I have to follow through with.
Because it's not about November. It's all about YESvember.
Brainstorm away! :)
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27 comments:
Are you teh kinda gal that will go sit at a bar alone? You should.
1) You're stuck on the West Side. I know that Clevelanders have an East/West thing, and most people dont' cross over, but try hanging out at some places on the East Side.
2) I think you should get on the radio. Do you listen to Q104? I can totally see them having you in the studio one morning, and talking you up, and trying to get you set up on at least one listener date. I've actually thought this for a long time now. If you don't want to contact them yourself, have a friend email them your blog and contact info.
Lemmonex -- I've only done that while waiting for someone. Never to just hang. Hmmm.
Jane Doe -- totally true about the East/West thing. Good point. Radio thing will require a bit more thought (only b/c I'll have to figure out how to hold onto my pseudo-anonymity). Thanks for the ideas!
I think activities should take precedence over just location itself, only because then you'll actively be engaged in something, which makes for really easy approach/convos...although I guess dudes just kind of approach women for just Being There (like Peter Sellars). Dudes like to DO stuff you know so sometimes it's not just where you are but it's what you're doing.
So my only suggestion for you AAB/the first step in your new plan is to just think about/list on your blog WHAT you like to do besides your work/volunteering/being a bridesmaid*...a man and a woman are likely to have a lot of seperate interests obvy but you gotta figure once you meet Mr. Right, til death do you part is gonna be a LONG time so you might as well both like doing some of the same stuff...and what better place to meet than a mutually enjoyed activity?
MG
*flag football? painting? running? swimming? watching foreign films? ballroom dancing? etc. etc.
I still think you should give Match .com a chance. I was on for the last 4 months or so and while I didn't meet anyone that I totally clicked with, I did meet a LOT of people, period. Even had some second dates! My life kinda sucks from the really busy end of things which is what I attribute my non-success to... but I have a friend who is most likely marrying the guy I found for her on Match last year, and another friend who since signing up has gone on like 4 dates in 2 weeks. Get you out of your rut if nothing else? Dates are fun!
Unless you know all the guys on there already in which case... maybe not.
@Jane Doe--I don't know the East side has any more luck than the West... but I suppose it's a slightly different crowd. Different. Not necessarily better. :)
MG - right. I'm looking for those suggestions b/c what I'm doing obviously isn't working.
Piper - I have looked at match and know far too many people on there. However, I suppose I could consider something like eharmony, where your pic isn't plastered all over the place. Hmm...
Blogmom/Blogdad.com Blogmom and I will find you one date a week for the month of Yesvember. Remeber, November is a good month for us. Rules are 1. No Refusal
2. No Backtalk
3. No Grief
(I don't know why I think that it will work now, it certainly didn't when I thought we had SOME control over you) Let us know so we can get planning.
Love ya,
BLOGDAD
i think you should join a sports league. kickball? football? darts? chess? volleyball
something.
I vote for pecan crusted bacon at Lucky for a girls brunch. Those always turn my frown upside down.
(Yep, I'm that corny.)
I agree that you should try match.com...eharmony doesn't let you search for people, which leaves you pretty anonymous, but doesn't let you pick who you might be attracted to, and gives you only a few matches a day - Match.com lets you search all members far and wide and you get to decide who you're interested in. I have read previous commments on your blog about people on match.com being unattractive. Not true. I have found that dating people via match.com is exactly the same as dating in real life. There are just as many ugly/attractive/annoying/smart/funny people as there are in real life, but they are ALL looking for a date, so you don't have to wonder about that part...It's just a numbers game. The more people you date, the more likely you are to come across someone you like. (Or don't like for that matter). Anyway, i thought I was above internet dating for a long time. I thought I was too special/attractive/smart, etc. But I am glad I''m doing it, eventhough I haven't found the right one yet.
I agree that you should give some type of coed sport like flag football, touch football, or kickball a try! Lots of guys in these leagues and then going to the bar after the games surrounds you with even more guys. Give www.clevelandplays.com a look. Good luck!
Blogdad - OY. That sounds like trouble.
Alexa - hmm. Will need to investigate. And will also need a partner in crime. (Hint, hint.)
Allison - I actually prefer sausage over bacon. (Insert disgusting joke here.)
Hermosamusica - wow, you're quite the advocate for match. How long have you been on it?
Simply Married - can I just do the bars afterward thing? ;)
As someone that really knows 27 Dresses....I know she would rather step out in moving traffic than join a flag football team! Sure...I do agree you need to try new things to meet someone but I don't think catching a football with her face it going to help in the dating department....unless there is a doctor on the team.
I think trusting your friends/families suggestions for fixs ups is the way to go. Sure they might not all be Mr. Wonderful but it just takes one! Ha..and by writing that I know 27 Dresses will know who this is. I'm working on a fix up as we speak! :)
Home Depot or Lowe's.
KUDOS to you for trying new things!!
My husband and I met on zogo.com. It's more text messaging vs. email. Still anonymous and safe, although we met three years ago and things might have changed.
I've also heard good things from plentyoffish.com The name itself makes me giggle.
And in my area there's a group called Events & Adventures. It's a group of single people who do things together (going to baseball games, hiking, bowling, bars, etc.) to get people interested in hanging out together. Check out singles clubs around your area.
Try speed dating. My sister who lived in Cincinnati and now lives in NYC does speed dating a lot. If nothing else, it's good blog fodder.
Good luck!
Blogdad and I are ready for Week 1 - we just need to figure out a time and place for you to meet.
A few other suggestions: maybe take a graduate course or two - bonus - whoever you meet will be working at self-improvement. Since I know how much you would enjoy joining a sports team (yikes), instead, maybe try joining a gym - it could be a lot of fun for you and you can check out the scenery at the same time (always thinking of ways to multitask!). Do they have one at Crocker - bonus, you can shop afterward! In either case, you could meet a whole new group of friends who may ultimately know the right guy for you.
I still like Blogdad's suggestion the best:)
Few suggestions -
1. Totally agree with jane doe (I'm guilty) on the East/West thing myself. Hit up some places on the East Side. The west side is still rules, but there's plenty of untapped potential on the East side.
2. Blogmom is also right. Join a gym. Never been inside the gym at Crocker Park, but there are always plenty of attractive women coming out of there. Likelihood is that there are some guys in there for you.
3. What's going on with Mr. X already? Is there a Mr. X? If there is, make it frickin happen already. If you aren't willing to make it happen then move on.
4. Quit hanging out with Alexa. I'm kidding. Don't hate me, Alexis...or Alexia...or Alexa.
What about the mixer?
I agree with the idea of venturing into some sort of extracurricular activity, but make it something you're really interested in -- maybe it's volunteer work or a winter ski group or something. You'll have more fun if it's something YOU'RE interested in, and likely find someone with similar interests (also, less chance of falling head over heels, literally, in a wayward kickball accident. Not that I speak from experience or anything...).
Also, most of the happiest couples I know met through mutual friends. You've probably met every eligible bachelor your friends know. Try expanding your circle of friends, thereby expanding your circle of male friends of friends :)
Ooh, and last suggestion, I promise. Don't change anything about your regular routine, but change location. If you're going out for drinks with friends, pick a new neighborhood. If you're getting take-out or going to a movie or grocery shopping or for lunch with co-workers, pick somewhere different than you'd normally go. Location, location, location!
have you ever been to the jump back ball? i know at least two couples who met there.
I joined match in April, and I tried plentyoffish.com - which I have decided is the ghetto of internet dating. Entertaining though. I have found that a lot of people will join match.com when they are new to an area, so if nothing else you can get to the new boys before the rest of Cleveland does. Also, you can block people from being able to see your profile on match. I also live in the same town where I grew up, so there are a lot of guys on there that I know and therefore a lot of blocked profiles. That way you wont come up in their search, and they wont come up in yours. And if nothing else you will have A LOT of material for the blog. A LOT. A-Mega-LOT.
AAB,
I don't know you all too well but from what I've seen and heard (and read) you are extremely active and engaging socially. Which means way more approachable than those that go out ostensibly to meet someone but really just want the free booze. I'm sure you interact with more people than most and that can be half the battle. You are far ahead of all who complain yet sit home and fester. So, being you is good - and the numbers game are in your favor.
And if you would decide on trying Match or the like, one option is to keep a hidden profile and contact only those that appeal to you. Send them a short note with a cute pic - this narrows down the field more to your taste and no guy is against initial interest.
Best of luck.
I wish I had a good suggestion for you for your area but I've never been to Cleveland.
What I can tell you, from my own experience, is try not to let your friends set you up. They may have all the best intentions but may not know your likes, dislikes and "type" as well as they may think.
The most common advice I get, from my friends no longer in or not from my area, is MOVE. If you feel that adventurous go for it. I can't truly recommend it because I am not, at this time, willing to do it myself.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
Piper, I don't know that the East Side has anything "better" than the West Side, either, but it's definitely different people. Like someone else said, do the same things (so you're comfortable), but do it somewhere else. It's just broadening the horizons.
Join a couple groups that interest you on Meetup.com and go to some events.
I should have read this sooner.
I am spectacular at telling women what to do.
Don't forget to explore options on the southside of town too.
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