Dating X-pectations

Well, guys. I was right to go into tonite's event with low expectations about the guy(s) my crazy aunt might introduce me to. (But I felt like I had to go, since this is now the third or fourth time she's invited me to an event to "introduce me to so-and-so," and I didn't want her to think I was ungrateful for her attempts.)

Upon meeting the two guys she had in mind for me (who were friends, BTW, which was sort of creepy), I immediately knew I was not interested. In either one of them. Because no matter how funny, smart, family-oriented, successful, etc. a guy is, if I'm not attracted to him, it just ain't gonna work.

Are you with me, ladies? (And gents?)

I'm sure these guys were plenty nice. (Though they were a bit above my age demo too. And by "a bit," I mean a lot.) But, physically, one reminded me of David Letterman (but with nicer teeth... which is good, considering he's an oral surgeon) and the other reminded me of a grown-up version of Ralphie from A Christmas Story, but with brunette hair (and about a tube of hair gel).

Damnit. Is it so much to ask to meet someone who is both great on paper and ALSO someone I could imagine making out with?

(Sorry, blogdad. Should have warned you that one was coming.)

And as I was reflecting on that while driving home, I realized that I feel like maybe I did meet someone like that: Mr. X.

(You may remember that I started talking to Mr. X while I was on blogcation back in July, but I haven't written about him much here because he knows about the blog. Let's hope he's not reading it today!)

I mean, I think Mr. X is hilariously funny. (Big plus.) I know he’s very close with his family. (Awesome.) He’s got a career that he likes. (Important.) I still get giddy like a school girl when I see a message from him. (A little too sappy for my taste, really.) AND, I think he's adorably cute. (And could totes imagine smooching him.)

But here's the problem: Mr. X lives in another city. (Bummer.) And while we talk every day (or, at the very least, text and email), we've got no plans to see each other anytime soon. (And, really, I can't tell if he even wants to.)

So now I'm trying to figure out what's worse: finding a local guy whose only thing in common with me is that we are both single, or finding a guy who could be a great match, but who's geographically undesirable?

Eff. SeptMENber is off to a rocky start...

*** UPDATE ***

I just got an email from my aunt: "They both want your number." FML.

Not much to update on...

... but I have a feeling that may all change tomorrow.

Why, you ask? Well, I agreed to go to an event with my crazy fun 60-year-old aunt. My crazy fun 60-year-old aunt who is totes into fixing me up and claiming the finders' fee.

She told me she's got someone she "wants to introduce me to." And she's already claiming rights to the finders' fee.

For the sweet love of Jesus and Mary. Well, even if nothing pans out with this guy, I can guarantee you there will at least be a good story associated with it, if I know my aunt at all.

(And if it totally sucks, at least I know there will be homemade limoncello to down at her house afterward. Eff the trying to steer clear of drinking thing.)

I mean, I thought last Friday's "cock hunt outing" (so termed by my friend and her hubs, who had been planning a manhunt outing for weeks) was embarrassing enough. But I have a feeling that tomorrow may be even more... umm... interesting.

(And in case you're wondering, the cock hunt was a bust. But I still had fun with my pregs friend and her very determined hubs/my wingman.)

So, while you're all waiting for updates on tomorrow's adventure with my aunt, put on your thinking caps... because it's time to name September's dating adventures!!

What do you think? September to Remember? SeptMENber? September Salami? Whaddya got for me?

JDMFJCS June!!!!

Garnering 61% of the vote, this month's dating adventures will hereby be deemed Just Date Me for Jesus Christ's Sake June!

(Or, JDMFJCS June for short. Apologies to any holy rollers who might find that name offensive. It's all in good fun, I promise.)

Here's hoping it works.

Because I've got a busy week ahead. Which will either lead to a lot of interesting boy interactions or a lot of disappointing ones:

• Tuesday: rescheduled lunch soiree with The Ram. When we initially made these plans weeks ago (after we had run into each other about a hundred times in two weeks), I was really excited. But the more time has gone on (and we haven't seen each other), the more I've got a weird feeling about it. But sometimes gut instincts are wrong, right?


• Thursday: a political fundraiser with my aunt, who is hellbent on fixing me up with some guy that she knows is going to be at this thing. I am not sure how I feel about this potential set-up, seeing as a.) the last guy she wanted to fix me up with 110% looked like David Crosby and b.) she is not good at taking "no" for an answer. (From me.)


• Saturday: bachelorette party!!!! And you know what shows up when there is a gaggle of girls around? That's right: a gaggle of guys.

I also had a couple of other random boy interactions this weekend, but nothing worth writing about. (At least, not yet.) However, I WILL say that the two guys who expressed interest were 11 years apart in age. Whoa, Always a Bridesmaid. Way to pick an age demo and stick with it. ;)

So what do you think? Are you betting on Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday for the best boy story? Any of you have a gut feeling?