No Jorts June (working title)

Crap. I just realized it's already June. Which means two things: 1. Mr. May-be was a bust (as were April Adventures and Manhunt March) and 2. I need a name for June's dating adventures.

And, so as not to get your hopes up, you should also probably know that my lunch soiree with The Ram got pushed back to next week. (Work stuff for both of us.) Pooh.

Crap and pooh. *Awesome* use of the English language, Always a Bridesmaid.

Since I can't seem to find the right words right now... wanna help me name this month's dating adventures? All I can think of is "No Jorts June" (as in, I won't go out with any man who wears jean shorts), but I've got to believe there are better options than that. Ideas?

(Sidenote: for some reason, I'm now singing that Nair commercial jingle that you probably all know, but in my warped little mind I've changed the words to "Who wears short jorts?" instead... God, what is wrong with me?)

Manhunt March to be replaced by...

... ?????

I can't think of anything witty to replace Manhunt March. (Which, by the way, I later realized should have been March Man-ness. Duh.)

One of my sissies suggested "Aggressive April," but that just sounds a little too... well... aggressive.

What do you guys think? Spring Fling? Something to do with April showers? Or Easter? Help!!!

(BTW, I am planning to keep the Manhunt March mantra going by continuing to pursue boys who interest me instead of waiting on them. I definitely have a new one that I have my eye on... just met him, though I've been hearing about him for a while now... stay tuned...)

In the meantime... help me name the next phase of my dating exploits! March went out like a lion, to be sure (thanks to the saboteur!). Let's hope April brings a tad less blogma (blog + drama, for those of you who haven't been keeping up).

It's all Greek to me!

So, it's 11:40 and I just got home from my date with The Greek. And, much to my delight, it didn't completely suck ass! (Hey, my standards are not all that high anymore.)

(And, actually, I'm kidding. It was really fun!)

We met for a drink at Luxe, then headed to see a film at the Cleveland International Film Festival at Tower City.

(BTW, have you gone yet? You should. Even if the movies are weird -- which many of them are -- it's a really cool experience.)

The Greek had VIP passes to the festival, but was clearly not sure what to do with them or the complimentary valet parking that came with them. Which was actually sort of endearing.

Let's backtrack a bit, though... how did we meet, you ask? Well, in the spirit of Manhunt March... it was I, your dear (or bitchy?) Always a Bridesmaid, who made the initial contact with The Greek after reading about him in a blog article about a week or two ago.

I'm really not sure what compelled me to email him, but I did. And we started emailing. And then he asked me out (though tonite was the first nite we were both free). And then he Facebook friended me. And then we met in person tonite. (Which, incidentally, was also the first time we talked in person. But, at least he didn't text me, right?!?)

Anyhow, I was pleasantly surprised with how easily the conversation flowed. And, The Greek was a lot cuter in person that in his Facebook pictures (which were pretty cute in and of themselves).

(However, I *might* weigh more than him. Seriously.)

And while some of his traits are not my typical "type" (including two large tattoos on each arm and a previous life as a skater punk), he also had some really amazing stories to tell (including working for a couple of nonprofit associations and a short stint in the Peace Corps).

Hmmm...

Fun fact: this is now the second "first date" that I have come home with a new t-shirt. Prior to the movie starting (it was a Greek foreign film), The Greek answered a quiz question correctly and won the shirt. He promptly handed it over to me and, to my delight, it was actually the right size! (I usually end up with free t-shirts in size XL, which all 5'2" of me can belt and wear as a dress.) So, even if he never calls again, I at least have a fun memento to remember the nite by.

BTW, in the midst of emailing with The Greek today to finalize our plans for tonite, I made a date with yet another guy for next week. (Hey, a girl's gotta play the field, right? More to come on guy number two next week.)

Who needs basketball games when my love life is turning into March Man-ness? (Maybe we should do brackets for my dates!)

Jason Mesnick: Part 2

I just had a revelation: bachelor Jason Mesnick was on the wrong reality TV show all along.

He didn't belong on The Bachelor. He should have been on The Biggest Loser. Because that's what he is.

*** end of rant ***

In other news, The Doctor called tonite, but I was in the other room and missed his call. Crap! However, he did leave a nice, cordial, short message. But in that 10-seconds-or-so span of time, he did manage to mention his parents (which is where he was when he texted on Sunday, or so I gathered). That's a good sign. A guy who's family-oriented is important to me.

Anyhow, it was too late to call him back for a "first" phone call by the time I picked up the message. (Around 9:30.) Is that rationale queer? Probably.

But at least that gave me time to watch the stupid Bachelor reunion episode. Which made me realize that The Doctor has got to be better than at least one single guy out there. (Yeah, I'm talking about you, Jason. Why don't you go cry about it now?) And, yes, before you ask... I will be calling him back tomorrow.

I mean, it is Manhunt March, after all.

Do you think he texts in prescriptions too?

After learning from blogdad that he had given my number to The Doctor last week, I honestly wasn't expecting to hear from him.

But I did.

This afternoon.

Via text.

The message:

Hi, Always a Bridesmaid. Your dad stopped by my office with a beautiful picture of you and your parents along with your number...

Um... I'm not even sure what to do with this. On one hand, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt with this whole texting business. Maybe he's really shy. Or maybe he's trying to put feelers out to see if I respond before he calls so as to avoid rejection.

On the other hand... seriously?!?!? Your first outreach is via text? And not even a, "Hi, this is The Doctor. Blah blah blah." What did men do prior to texting? Ugh. I am really not feeling the initial text outreach.

However, since I just declared this month Manhunt March (see post below), I will respond. The problem is, I have to text back because I don't remember his first name (it's written on a piece of paper in my office) since I can't really call him and say, "Hey, you. It's Always a Bridesmaid."

I swear, only me. Ugh.

March Madness

I serve on a couple of nonprofit boards in my non-blogging life, one of which I currently serve as membership director for. Our membership drive was incredibly successful this year, thanks to some inventive membership drive ideas. We've already doubled our new member goals, and the program year isn't even over yet!

So why am I telling you this? I've decided I should transfer those abilities to my dating life. Enter Manhunt March. And, like any successful membership drive, there's strength in numbers. I need your recruiting help!

Just like my nonprofit membership drive, Manhunt March will work something like this:

• Identify possible candidates (duh)


• Ask if they're members yet (in this case, we'll need to find out if they're members of the "married club" yet)


• Sell them on the benefits of joining (tell them you have a funny, cute, smart girl to fix them up with)


• Have them fill out a membership application (get his number and email)


• Forward his application to me (and wait with bated breath for that finders' fee!)

Simple as that, right?

The other key to a successful membership drive, of course, is to define parameters for timing (in this case, we're talking all of March) and to incentivize recruiters in some way (enter the finders' fee).

If I can blow my numbers out of the water for my nonprofit's membership drive, I'm thinking Manhunt March might just yield a lot of new potential boys.

And probably at least a couple of juicy blog stories.

Now go get out and recruit! And once you find a potential new member, email me. Happy hunting!! ;)