Bartender = personal Dr. Phil

I met up with a couple of friends at Tartine last nite for a quick glass of wine after a long day of work and pro-bono meetings. (Trust me. I needed that glass of Riesling by 9pm.)

As it turns out, the bartender who was working was the same guy who was my server the nite of my "no sparks" date last week.

(Sidenote: I just realized that I never even gave that "no sparks" guy a blog name. Interesting.)

Anyhow, I started chatting up the bartender (huge surprise!), and he remembered me from the week before. He said he could tell we were on a first date, and that it seemed strained. (I think his exact words were, "You were so bubbly, and he just seemed sort of blah. Like he had a wall up.")

He went on to tell us that the wait staff can always tell when people are on first dates, and that they can usually tell when someone is having a good time -- or not.

So I had a new idea... perhaps I should take all of my first dates to Tartine, then let my little bartender friend give me a third-party review of how he thinks things went afterward. (Perhaps even on the blog?)

After all, who sees more dates (the good, the bad and the ugly) than a bartender at a cute little West side hot spot?

Sparks from the start

I had a date last nite. With the girl who "outed" me to The Greek. What a complete cluster fuc... April Fool! Ha ha ha.

Actually, I did have a date. But not with that chic. With a boy.

He was a very nice guy. Strong family ties, great job, good sense of humor. But I'm not sure there was any type of "spark" or romantic connection with him. (In fact, I'm sure of it. Like, I don't think I could ever imagine kissing him. But I could imagine going to an Indians game or grabbing a beer with him and a group of friends.)

While I certainly don't need to date a guy who looks like Brad Pitt or George Clooney (though I wouldn't kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers), I do think it's important to have some sort of attraction right off the bat. Maybe it's his laugh... his smile... his eyes... his wallet.

(Ha ha ha. TOTES kidding about the wallet thing. You know I'm kidding, right? Just want to make sure I don't develop more haters who think I'm only out for a guy's money. A girl who's a gold digger doesn't date a guy who is jobless/in school for several years of their six-year relationship. So, yes, I am completely kidding about the wallet thing.)

(BTW, it sucks that I now feel like I have to clarify every joke I make because I'm worried some chic is going to try to sabotage me from now on. Eff.)

Anyhow, while I realize that sometimes the "connection" with a guy takes time to develop (unless, of course, you're on The Bachelor, in which case it takes two minutes), I've always found that no physical attraction from the start is never a good thing. (At least, not for me.)

Sparks from the start... necessary or not?

The stats on The Coach

So, I went out with The Coach on Wednesday nite. Met at a cozy little bar in Westlake after an after-work event I had to go to. Grabbed dinner and drinks and had a nice conversation, but was in and out in about an hour and a half.

But that's sort of it. It was... a nice conversation. No real sparks to speak of (and I am a believer in sparks from the start). And, there weren't really a ton of laughs -- which is a MUST for me -- except for the times when I was laughing at my own jokes to keep the conversation moving.

That said, he really was a very nice, sweet guy (my friend Sarah was right) and seems to come from a great family (also a big plus for me). But I'm just not sure "the spark" was there. Too bad. I think he might just be one of those guys who is great on paper, but then there's something missing in person.

Unfortunately, I think it might be "game over" for The Coach.