Looking for Sexy Singles!!

And this time, it's not for myself.

Cleveland Magazine is looking for hotties for its annual Sexy Singles issue in February. Are you a hot single? Or do you know someone who is?

Nominate them here. (And hurry! Nominations are due Friday.)

As long-time readers already know, I was featured as a sexy single back before this blog even existed. And while I obviously didn't meet the future Mr. Always a Bridesmaid (sigh), it was fun to be included in the issue (especially since the photog totally rocked it and somehow made me look tan and relatively skinny in the dead of winter).

Had I been writing the blog back then, you would have heard all about some of these doozies:

• the guy from high school who sent me flowers to ask me out to dinner


• another guy from high school who very awkwardly called to ask me out (completely catching me off guard at work), then realized how awkward the conversation was and called back (at 8pm, when he knew I'd be gone from the office) and left not one, but TWO, rambling messages to apologize for asking me out so abruptly in the first call (I mean, even this cold-hearted bitch felt badly for him... for a hot minute, at least)


• The Murse 2 (I should have learned my lesson with the original Murse, right?)

OK, so maybe those weren't the best examples for you likely candidates out there. But at least I got some dates out of it, right?

(Along with a framed pic of the issue from blogmom and blogdad that would be totes weird for me to hang in my own condo.)

Anyhow, I would LOVE to know if you nominate someone (including yourself!). Who do you have in mind? Be sure to leave a comment. I am sooooo curious!

P.S. If you're nominating a funny, cute, not-a-jackass guy in his late 20s or 30s, I have three words for you: WHAT THE HELL? Why haven't you introduced me to him yet? You bastard.

P.P.S. DIBS!!! There. That's just in case anyone fitting the above description shows up in this year's issue.

When virtual & real worlds collide

What a weird, fun nite last nite was. I went out for a couple of drinks with my friend Captain Crunch after a day-long meeting and ended up meeting two different groups of people who knew my dating trials and tribulations -- one which knew my real-life single life, and one that knew just the online version of it.

First was my "virtual world" unveiling. After popping into the ladies' room at the first bar we stopped at, I came back to my seat to discover Captain Crunch talking to the girls next to him (one of whom he knew), apparently about my blog. Guess while I was in the bathroom, he had mentioned something about the blog (which he himself had just found out about earlier in the nite), and it turned out one of the girls actually reads it. Weirdville, USA! I mean, I was completely flattered that a stranger actually finds what I say interesting enough to read about regularly. And I realize that there are now quite a few peeps who read this blog who I don't know. But I guess it was just sort of weird to be sitting two people down from a total stranger who exclaimed, "You're 27 Dresses? I read your blog!" Weird. Flattering. Humbling.

After that conversation, we left the bar and headed out for one last beer (and a couple of pieces of pizza). While Captain Crunch was ordering his 'za, someone came up to me and asked if I had been in a newspaper article about eligible singles in Cleveland. Turns out, the guy was in the article with me (as was his friend)! I mean, really? First my online single persona was unveiled, and now my real one was? Needless to say, Captain Crunch was quite confounded.

So, to recap... within a 20-minute span, my singlehood was solidified not once, but twice. Once, twice, three times a lady, I suppose... whether virtual or real.

Are you an anonymous blogger? What do you do when someone who reads your blog finds out you're the real-life author behind it?

"Do you want my friend's autograph?"

I can honestly say that Wednesday nite was the first time I heard that line used as a pick-up.

Here's how it went down: I met up with a girl who was in Cleveland Magazine's "Sexy Singles" article with me a couple of years back. (Obviously, the article didn't do much for our love lives, since we're both still single.) Anyhow, we recently reconnected and decided to catch up for a drink. Aaaaaaaand scene:

[Two former "Sexy Singles" chatting about their lack of love lives over a couple of beers at the Winking Lizard on Rockside Road.]

GUY 1: Hey, do you want my friend's autograph?

US: [nervous laughter] Why would we want his autograph?

GUY 1: Because he was in a soap opera.

US: [looking at GUY 2 to determine whether he was cute enough to be on a soap opera. He was no dreamboat, but he was definitely cute. I thought it he looked sort of like Rick Solomon, but my friend disagreed.] Really? Which soap opera?

GUY 2: The Young and the Restless.

US: What was your character?

GUY 2: I was CHEESY SOAP OPERA-Y NAME (AAB sidenote: I'm not using the real character name because I know you guys -- you'd IMDB his ass and figure out his real name, which is a no-no on this here blog.)

US: When were you on?

GUY 2: In the 80's.

Aaaaand scene.

It turns out that GUY 2 was a child actor and appeared in a handful of episodes over the course of a couple of years. And his dad somehow stole all of the money he made (can you say Michael Lohan?!?!) years and years ago. But he claimed to still have DVDs of his "work."

In retrospect, GUY 2 was actually very nice, funny, cute, tall, wore a watch and didn't have gross hands. Problem is, GUY 1 (the friend who initially got our attention) pretty much went from wingman to cock block in a matter of about 45 minutes. In fact, GUY 1 got so drunk that they took his beer away and made them leave.

(That happened, of course, after another friend -- GUY 3 -- showed up to meet them, and GUY 1 whispered to us on the side that GUY 3 had appeared in adult films many years ago. I'm not sure what his deal was with calling his friends out for being in films/on TV, but whatevs.)

Sooo... I discovered two things on Wednesday: 1. it is hard to pick up a guy when he has to escort his drunk friend out of a bar 2. I should really start watching more soap operas because, apparently, some of those guys now live in Cleveland.

And I guess if the former soap opera star route doesn't work out... there's always the former porn star option, right?

(Eeeew. Sick. I'm sorry I even typed that. Please erase that last sentence from your memory.)