How to hook 'em in a new city

This post comes to us courtesy of The Longhorn, who recently packed up and moved from Cleveland to the big bad state of Texas. Here, he examines what it's like dating in a new city. (As it turns out, sounds like it's pretty much the same everywhere!)

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So I recently packed up and moved south. Why? Well, there’s obviously the weather. It’s almost always warm here, which leads to a tan and better moods. Also, there is the work angle. Without going into a lot of detail, I was given an amazing opportunity to work with some industry leaders in their space that would’ve been impossible to pass up.

Of course, life’s not all roses. A cross-country move presents a lot of challenges. A bunch of new colleagues, new surroundings, new apartment, new bars, new restaurants and new grocery stores can lead to a lot of confusion and uncertainty. This is all before trying to understand a new dating scene! (AAB sidenote: I think it's hilarious that a boy is worried about figuring out new grocery stores. Sounds like we have a little cook on our hands, ladies!)

CAVEAT: It’s not as if I really understood my old dating “grounds,” so layering on a totally different city can lead to some “holy crap” moments. So with that in mind, AAB thought it would be cool if I gave some similarities and differences between the two dating scenes.

What’s different?

• College town environment – If you currently live, or have lived in a college town environment (outside of your actual college years, of course) you’ll know that the bar/club scene is a mixture of people our age (30-35) and those MUCH younger (21-24). While it is fun to entertain the possibility of dating someone younger, the reality is that I have VERY little in common with someone that age.

• Push to settle down – My mom would obviously be interested in me settling down with someone sooner rather than later, but I’m not there yet. However, most of the women here definitely ARE! Most of their mothers are stay-at-home, and that tends to be their goal as well. I’m all for supporting the posse when the time is right, but let’s slow down the “white picket fence and 2.5 kids” theme for a bit.

• More outdoor activities – Obviously, coming from Cleveland there’s a very small window for outdoor activities. Here, the window is WIDE OPEN! So with that comes the push to do more things outside. Sure, I like the outdoors. However, I’m not Ranger Rick if you know what I’m saying. I really have no interest in sitting at a picnic table, or on a rock, and staring at water for hours. Maybe that hurts me? Dunno.

What’s the same?

• The Chase – I’m not a huge fan of the chase. Most of my dates are setups. I feel like I’ve got a better chance at success when a friend sets me because I think (perhaps foolishly) that they know my tastes well. However, there is still plenty of chasing here, which leads to a lot of wasted time/effort on my part (and hers). I’m not interested in jumping through hoops to date you. If we meet and it clicks then let’s go. Don’t make me chase you down to make it happen.

• The “WTF” Moment – Guys will be able to relate more to this, but there are plenty of moments where you walk into a bar, see a couple together and wonder how the hell they ended up together. The guy has a million tattoos (not that tats are objectionable), no job, but is with the hottest woman in the place. Or, you meet him and he couldn’t be more of a dolt and you wonder how he could carry a conversation. Yeah, plenty of that going around here as well.

• Good looking women – No real explanation needed here… both towns have an abundance of attractive ladies. They aren’t hard to find. Matching personalities-wise is a different story, obviously.

Those are just my observations. If you’ve moved from one city to another, what are some similarities and differences that you’ve seen?

I feel the need... the need for speed (dating!)

This guest post about speed dating comes to us courtesy of Nidhilicious. Enjoy!

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Speed dating?! In my life? It's more common than you might think.

It's not often that you get to hear about my love life (and it's not like this time it's really any different)

Background, or "Why I went Speed Dating"
a. My mom's been bugging me to get married ever since she got back from schmoozing with my relatives and I figure I should probably find a man (gag)
b. It's for a good cause (my coworker and her MBA entrepenuerial team put on this event. It's not donation-y but I guess it helps someone get an MBA?)
c. I'm allergic to slow dating (JK, only kind of)

My friend (and speed dating coercer) and I walked into the venue (Chinato on E. 4th, GORGEOUS venue) and frantically looked around for the event. All we saw were happy-hourers lounging at the bar until we heard the maitre'd giggle to some patrons that the lounge was closed due to a speed dating event.

We crept downstairs to the dimly lit lounge area, where the couches (for the girls) were lined up against the wall with 14 1' diameter tables and chairs (for the boys) facing them. I went into this thinking that every man there would be approximately 10 years older than me, and I was approximately right. I think most of the men were 7-9 years older than me (I'm 23). What a strange event. It was full of 3 minute dates with 30 seconds to circle "yes" or "no" about your date.

Highlights, or "Why I put you as a NO"
-The guy who straight up started talking about money, and how the type of lawyering that he would be doing (representing the Bernie Madoffs of the world) would be very lucrative.
-The 33 year old stoic man who went to my alma mater for law school...5 years ago. I graduated in 2008. WOW I felt young (but I'm ok with that)
-Finding out that there were some 45 year old off-the-street cougs who came in to mack on the young blood
-The "film" guy who continued talking to his previous date for almost a full minute before he sat down before me. Speed dating?
-Anomaly: Asking "If you had a blog, what would you write about?" and hearing "Food!" I love food and blog mostly about food (and/or arts and crafts). I got too excited I think. Oh well.

Speed dating is weird. The main questions that are asked are "Where do you work?" or "How did you find out about this event?" These questions are irrelevant to finding out whether or not you like someone. I'm not the kind of girl where first impressions count for too much, so I'd say speed dating isn't really for me. I'm not adverse to slow dating anymore, though...

Cleveland's Hottest Bachelors

Hi, guys! Taking a temporary hiatus from my hiatus (ha!) to post about this Inside Edition piece on Cleveland's Hottest Bachelors.

A few questions:

a. Why is Inside Edition even doing a piece on Cleveland's Hottest Bachelors?

b. And if you're gonna do hot bachelors, why no hottest bachelorettes, Inside Edition? Hmmphh. (Unless we'd ALSO have to pose shirtless, in which case... count me out.)

c. Which of these guys strikes your fancy, ladies? Take a guess who mine is! ;)

Happy Friday everyone! More guest posts to come next week.

The parade of freaks

Thanks to everyone who expressed interest in guest blogging! Here's our first guest post, courtesy of Girl, Esq. Enjoy!

(And don't forget to keep those guest posts coming!)

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You know you've reached an interesting point in your dating career when your friends nickname not just your man-of-the-moment, but the entire collective of men spanning a given time period. Bonus points if the nickname incorporates not just a nod to the sheer number of men you've gone out with (e.g. "parade"), but also some derogatory term for each and every one (e.g. "freaks"). I am that girl...Grand Master of the Parade of Freaks, if you will. It should be noted at the outset that not every single member of the Parade is as weird, unusual, or flat-out dysfunctional as the name would imply. Like any parade, there is variety....marching bands, floats, balloons, the occasional small-time celeb.

With each new person passing me by in the Parade, I learn something about myself; about what I do and don’t want and what I will and won’t tolerate. Sometimes I just get a funny story out of the experience and, really, if you can make your girlfriends laugh over margaritas with your latest dating disaster, the evening isn't a complete loss. There's something to be said for getting caught up in the parade as it goes by, even if just for a moment: to surrendering to the unique elations and frustrations of casual dating, to appreciating the hand-in-hand comedy and tragedy of life as a single woman.

Ultimately, I’m still searching for my Ferris Bueller. For the man who will stop the Parade with song and dance and cheering. Perhaps my expectations are ratcheted just a bit too high. But I believe he’s out there. Stuck in a cab somewhere, perhaps. My encouragement, though, is to always attend the Parade; get caught up in the fun and excitement; and sort out the memories, keeping the lessons and leaving the trash.

Lookin' for some fresh blood

So, I'm assuming you've probably noticed.

I haven't posted a lot lately.

And, when I have, it's often been cop-out posts (like the last two video links... though you have to admit that Brownie Husband skit WAS hilarious).

I'm just crazy busy with my job, working on Boards, contributing to nonprofit organizations, spoiling my little nugget niece and nephew and attempting (horribly, I might add) to keep up with friends and family.

(See? I actually do have a life outside of my attempts at dating. I just choose not to write about it here.)

The end of the craziness is in sight (I think!), but it's still several weeks out. That's where you come in.

I'm in desperate need of some guest posts to keep readers entertained while I attend to things that are -- dare I say? -- more important than writing here.

Who's game?!? Wanna be a guest blogger? Post a comment or email me at cleve27dresses(at)yahoo(dot)com.

The story of my life...

... no, seriously. I think this new show might actually be the story of my life.

Are you planning to watch Romantically Challenged tonite? Wonder which character will be most like me...

(Please, please... let it be Alyssa Milano. I'd die to have at least *some*thing in common with her!)

I don't usually like nuts in my bakery, but...

... I could always make an exception. ;)

Blast from the past

If you've been reading this blog for a while now, you're well aware of the six degrees of separation that is my dating life.

(Which is why I implemented this rule some time ago.)

Well, it happened again this weekend. While out for one last late-nite drink with a friend, I was sitting at the bar chatting and heard, "Hey, girl." (Yes, a man really said, "Hey, girl.")

It was the Mush Mouth. As you may remember, the Mush Mouth was my first "real" boyfriend who I dated for 2+ years during college and shortly after.

(He was so named by one of my relatives because he mumbled everything he said.)

So, back to this past weekend. The Mush Mouth approached and chatted with us for about 10 minutes. Ten very loooong minutes. Why long?

• I felt like he was flirting with me. Like, scrunching his nose up and smiling all weird when he was talking to me flirting.
  
• He rubbed my head. More than once. (I suppose I should say here that I HATE when people touch my head, unless I'm dating them. Or I'm at the hair salon. And he knows that.)
  
• He wasn't wearing his wedding ring. Based on our conversation, I was trying to figure out whether he was just being a schievy guy who doesn't wear his ring when he's not out with his wife, or whether there's something more going on in his personal life. I didn't ask.
• Did I mention the head rubbing?!?
  
• Lastly, he announced to my friend (after I told him about my new niece and nephew): "If anyone was born to be a mother, it was AAB." (There was a head rub following this comment as well.)

Eeew. It schievs me out when exes are a little TOO friendly after a break-up. (Don't get me wrong. I'm all about being civil after a break up. But there is a distinct difference between civil and acting like you've gone back in a time machine and are still together. And that time machine involves head rubbing.)

Have you ever had a run-in with an ex that was just a little TOO friendly? How did you handle it?

(My solution was to nervously down my beer.)

The dog ate my homework...

... and other such nonsense.

Over the past couple of months, I have had a few guys very lamely cancel and/or postpone dates with me using the WORST excuses imaginable.

(Seriously, boys. If you want to cancel, just say so.)

(Also, FWIW, I barely talked to and/or emailed/texted with the boys who cancelled these dates, so I don't even feel like they had enough exposure to me to even warrant a cancellation!)

Regardless, here are some of the doozies I've heard lately:

• My mother had a heart attack. (Note: I'm not a totally cold-hearted bitch. I felt TERRIBLE when I heard this one. Until he cancelled with a lame excuse a second time. Gloves off, buddy.)
• I have a wake to go to. (Again, not totally cold hearted. But he also followed this one up with a second blow-off.)
  
• I was out of town and am just now getting back to people. (Oh, sorry. Didn't realize your phone doesn't work when you're out of town. And thanks for calling me "people.")
  
• My brother got married. (I'm guessing you went dateless based on your inability to keep plans??)
  
• A client rescheduled a dinner to tonite and "I gotta pay the bills!" (Eeew.)
  

If I didn't know better, I'd start to get a complex. But instead, I'm just shaking my head and wondering what the next lame excuse I'll hear is.

What's the worst reason you've heard for cancelling/postponing a date?

Fools need not apply

Did you forget about the finders' fee, peeps? Just don't set me up with a guy who's a joke. :)

Happy April Fool's Day!